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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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Fuego del Culo.
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Girl, if it itches, it’s crabs.
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♪ I switched the game
No time for playing♪
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♪ I’m redefined♪
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♪ Now I’ma transform♪
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♪ Right in front
Of all your eyes♪
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♪ I shapeshift♪
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Hey, girl.
You want some brown liquor?
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Brown liquor
don’t make this pussy pop.
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Tequila it is.
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Here you go.
Mm.
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¡Viva la revolución!
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Now, that shit right there make
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my pussy pop
on a handstand!
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So, what are you doing here
anyway?
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What do you think
I’m doing here?
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I’m starring
in the opening scene.
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Been there, done that.
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Pick up the phone!
Pick up the pho--
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Richie?
Teyana. Hi.
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I thought it’d be easier
for the audience
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if they didn’t have to read
more texts.
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Yeah, that makes sense.
’Cause you know these motherfuckers can’t read.
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I know who goes to see
a Wayans Brothers movie.
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Well, it’s nice
to phone-meet you
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in this super awkward way.
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Likewise.
But I got to be honest.
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When I seen your profile pic,
a bitch almost swiped left
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because you look mad goofy.
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But surprisingly,
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you know them goofy niggas
got big dicks, so here we are.
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00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:05,734
I take you for a Jersey girl.
35
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A Jersey girl?
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Listen, I love Jersey down.
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But I’m a Harlem girl.
Born and motherfucking raised.
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Real niggas only. Yeah.
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Oh, so you’re Black.
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No, motherfucker!
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I’m BLACK!
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All caps.
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No cap, but caps.
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Fuck all y’all!
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Bitch,
spit them pearls back out.
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I ain’t want your shit.
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Hello.
So tell me,
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what’s your favorite
scary movie?
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Mm... I don’t really do them,
you know.
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All the stupid tropes and shit.
51
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Why is it always
the white bitch at the end?
52
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Because they know
it is too hard to kill a sista.
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Y’know what I’m sayin’?
Cause if the sista can survive
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government cheese,
we can survive anything.
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You know, it might help
if you met me outside.
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Met you outside?
Boy, you is needy!
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What’s your sign?
You must be a Scorpio.
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How’d you know?
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Good dick though.
But toxic as hell.
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Hey, is the restaurant
near an alley?
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Yes, hurry
before they rob your ass.
62
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Roses?
Ah! Not today.
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Cheap bitch.
Heard you, ho.
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Okay, I’m--
I’m coming down the alley now.
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I’m here.
Can you see me? I’m waving.
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No.
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The person I’m looking at
is not waving.
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In fact,
they’re just staring at me.
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Well, stare at his ass back!
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And don’t blink. Never blink.
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You got to scrunch your lips
and be like, "What?"
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No, they’re walking
towards me now.
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Hold on.
Oh no, they have a knife!
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Well, don’t lead his ass
over here.
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And that’s not the worst part.
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The worst part
is you know so much
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about horror movies
and yet you still
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walked into the alley alone.
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Yeah, well the worst part is,
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you fucking with
a New York bitch. Cuckoo!
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Yeah!
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Cuckoo, cuckoo!
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Cuckoo!
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00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,465
Damn!
She’s on some Avengers shit!
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00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:23,306
Seriously, Larry?
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I ain’t recognize
your bird call.
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Thought you was going
more with a--
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That’s a pigeon, nigga!
Supposed to be, "Cuckoo!"
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Cuckoo!
A hawk swooping in an attack!
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My bad.
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Are you done?
92
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What the hell?
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Bitch, I’m Teyana Taylor.
My abs got abs.
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Get him!
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Ow! My arm! My arm!
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Get in there!
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Come on, guys,
we can work this out.
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Somebody help me!
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Do it, Larry!
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No, no, no--
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Hi-yah!
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Ow! Oh, God!
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00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:05,914
All right, all right,
all right, all right!
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We out.
Get your hardheaded ass on.
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Welcome to New York, sucker!
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Hey, Teyana.
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You might have kicked my ass,
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but you still didn’t win
that Oscar.
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What you say about my Oscar?
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Did I stutter? You lost!
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You right.
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But I won
that Golden Globe, bitch.
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Oh, my God! Really?
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That’s why I never watched
Horror Movie.
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It’s fucking terrible.
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Just a bunch
of celebrity cameos and fart gags.
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So, you don’t like parodies?
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I’m more into
Judd Apatow films.
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You know, elevated comedy.
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And what is elevated comedy?
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Mm.
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The kind that doesn’t actually
make anyone laugh,
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but makes white people
feel smart.
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Tuesday,
don’t answer that!
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It could be Ghostface.
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Oh, come on, Elle!
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Stuff like that
only happens in the movies.
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Oh, hey.
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I wasn’t expecting you
to answer the door.
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What the fuck?
Now where is my knife?
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Ah, here it is.
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Hello, Tuesday.
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♪ I really wanna get messy♪
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♪ Don’t care what I’m doing
Next week♪
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♪ You really don’t wanna
Test me♪
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♪ Just pass the drinks
And get sexy♪
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♪ Get messy
Baby, get messy♪
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Hey, miss.
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What’d you take?
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00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,749
Just Ritalin for my ADHD.
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00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,359
Adderall for PTSD.
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A couple of Xanax
for my anxiety.
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And your boner pills.
144
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:51,019
So good luck
getting it up now.
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Jesus, Sara,
how many did you take?
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I don’t know.
How many come in a bottle?
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Hey, Jess.
Sara,
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Tuesday’s in the hospital.
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00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:04,075
She was stabbed. By a killer--
you know, Ghostface.
150
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:05,599
Wait. From Wu-Tang?
151
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,905
Why would Ghostface Killah
aka Pretty Toney
152
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:10,255
aka Starky Love
want to stab my sister?
153
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God, Sara,
it wasn’t Ghostface Killah.
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It was somebody
in a Ghostface mask.
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Oh!
156
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Okay, that makes more sense.
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Hah!
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I ain’t the one!
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Oh!
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Jesus, Jack!
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What?
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00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,755
I was thinking about
wearing this for Halloween.
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My estranged
flat-chested half-sister
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was nearly killed
by a psycho in a ghost mask.
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I got to go see her
and make up for the past.
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Whoa-- Hey, hey, hey.
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I’m going with you.
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Not because
I’m the obvious killer
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trying to lure you back
to your hometown.
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I’m just
the supportive boyfriend.
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Yeah.That’s all.
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Okay, let’s go. Get in the car.
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Listen, we just have
to make one stop on the way.
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I survived.
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All thanks to my lucky penny.
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00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:04,135
♪ The world would be
Boring as fuck♪
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00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,311
♪ Without big booty
Real hoochie mamas like me♪
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00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,662
♪ Grabbing ankles
Throwing ass on ATVs♪
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00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,881
♪ Make ’em say "uh"
I got Master P♪
180
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:13,188
♪ Doggy-style, look here,
That’s masterpiece♪
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00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,103
♪ I don’t wanna be
In no sausage fest♪
182
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,627
♪ Where my ladies at?
Throw it east to west♪
183
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,629
♪ Wow, wow, wow, wow
I’m impressed♪
184
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:20,891
♪ Booty up down, up down...♪
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00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:29,552
I hate when y’all leave!
Come give me a hug.
186
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:32,816
Ma, come on, turn off
this ratchet-ass music.
187
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:35,384
It’s embarrassing,
especially for Black women.
188
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:36,820
It’s not embarrassing.
189
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:38,605
I’m the cool ma everybody wish
they had.
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I’m lit!
Don’t forget,
191
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,999
I got practice later
so I’ll be home late.
192
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,610
You only made the team
because you’re Black
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00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:45,699
and those racist fucks
assumed you could play.
194
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:47,918
Mm.
It’s 2026.
195
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:49,441
I don’t think race is an issue.
196
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:50,965
Do you read Black Twitter?
197
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:52,357
No.
198
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:53,924
Ugh, Brad,
199
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:55,752
are you still dating that ho?
200
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:56,753
Okay.
201
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,320
Stop ho-shaming her, heiffa.
202
00:08:58,494 --> 00:08:59,974
Just because Darrel and them
203
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,976
ran a train on her
doesn’t make her a ho.
204
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,848
She’s not a "ho",
she’s "sex positive".
205
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,894
Well, I’m positive she is a ho.
206
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:09,940
Hey, girl! Look at you!
207
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,507
Early for Halloween, huh?
208
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,422
What you this year?
Slutty schoolgirl?
209
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:14,379
Ho-ey ho?
210
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,468
Hi, Ms. Meeks.
211
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,340
Love the hair. Very...
212
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:19,994
Octavia Spencer.
213
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,256
Well, thank you very much.
214
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:22,823
I got to invite you over
215
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:25,303
and make you
a little shit pie. Ooh.
216
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:28,176
You know what? I got to get to
African American History class.
217
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,438
We’re learning about slavery.
218
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,962
Come to find out,
it was a choice.
219
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,137
You see that right there?
220
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,792
That’s Kanye?
That’s right.
221
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:38,360
They’ve been teaching us
wrong all this time.
222
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:39,535
Mm-hmm. Stay Black!
223
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,494
Bye, Ma.
All right. Bye, baby.
224
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:43,757
Bye, Ms. Meeks.
Bye.
225
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,933
Son, I put some condoms
in your bag!
226
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,674
You know how they try
to trap y’all.
227
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:48,892
Ma!
228
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:53,070
Okay, seriously,
"Sheriff Greg",
229
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,898
you don’t have to walk me
to class. I’m fine.
230
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:57,858
Jess, there’s a serial killer
on the loose.
231
00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,512
I’m not gonna let anything
happen to my baby girl.
232
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,602
Boy! Okay? I’m a baby boy!
233
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,125
I’m sorry!
234
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,083
I’m having a
hard time with this transition.
235
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:09,478
Okay, it’s really simple.
Treat me like one of the guys.
236
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:10,871
Okay?
237
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,395
All right. I-I can do that.
Yeah.
238
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,745
Slap fight. Oh.
239
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:16,920
You call that a slap?
240
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:19,531
Whew.
241
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,142
What the hell
did you do that for?
242
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:24,145
Don’t act like such a bitch.
243
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:25,842
Bitch.
244
00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:31,195
Yeah, not bad.
245
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,547
Who the hell lives like this?
246
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,475
Oh, honey,
it is so good to see you!
247
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,434
Come in! Do you want some tea?
248
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:55,306
Oh, my God, Mother.
You look like shit!
249
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,047
Babe, please.
250
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,658
This is clearly a woman
who’s run out of conditioner.
251
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,790
Oh, be careful where you walk.
The whole place
252
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:02,444
is booby-trapped.
253
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,620
You never know when
that psycho’s gonna come back.
254
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,491
Come in.
255
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,797
Okay.
256
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,504
I hate this job.
257
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,073
Mrs. Campbell,
258
00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:26,033
I’m Jack, Sara’s boyfriend.
259
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,948
I’ve heard so much about you...
260
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,253
Uh, none of it good.
261
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,561
I have heard nothing
about you, Jack.
262
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,432
I assume
you’re a piece of shit.
263
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:37,522
But how would I know when
I haven’t heard from my daughter
264
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,524
in, what, six months?
265
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,396
Six years, Mother.
266
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,311
And whose fault is that?
267
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,966
"And whose fault is that?"
I don’t know, maybe it’s yours!
268
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:47,968
That’s fair.
269
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:50,840
We want to learn
from the horror you survived.
270
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:51,841
Look...
271
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,800
Scary Movie 3and 4
272
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,627
paid me
a lot of money for a girl--
273
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,760
There is nothing
to learn there.
274
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:00,502
But if you want to talk
about The House Bunny,shoot.
275
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,286
It’s happening again!
276
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:05,725
Some asshole in a mask.
We have to stop him.
277
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:07,901
You’re not ready, lovebug.
278
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:11,208
I have been preparing
for this for years.
279
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:12,949
Sacrificed everything.
280
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:16,083
You were a terrible mother.
Come on, honey
281
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,998
we had some good times.
282
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:22,002
Like that Christmas I took you
to meet Santa at the mall.
283
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:25,745
♪ Dashing through the snow♪
284
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:29,009
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh♪
285
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:31,315
♪ O’er the fields we go...♪
Your turn, Sara.
286
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:32,360
Move!
287
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,449
Hi, Santa.
288
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:37,757
Sorry if I don’t
sit in your lap.
289
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,410
You creep me out.
290
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:41,891
♪ How fun it is
To ride and sing...♪
291
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:47,941
Mom?
292
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,726
Santa gave me a severed arm!
293
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,641
Be sure to thank him.
294
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,345
Is that a foot?
295
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,086
Ew, that’s gross.
296
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:04,261
♪ One horse open...♪
297
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:05,567
What the fuck?
298
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,919
I am sorry
299
00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:12,748
if that’s how you found out
Santa doesn’t exist.
300
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,924
Ugh, Mother, I need your help!
301
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:18,232
To heal our emotional wounds
and put the past behind us?
302
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,016
Oh, God, no.
303
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,671
No, to kill Ghostface!
304
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,325
Do you have any guns?
305
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:28,372
I am Cindy fucking Campbell.
306
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,113
I’ve got millions of guns!
307
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,158
But, um,
308
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,899
none of them are registered
309
00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:35,205
due to my mental health issues.
310
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:38,992
So, if you could just keep that
on the low--
311
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,124
Okay.
Oh!
312
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:42,691
Yeah, I’m gonna be fine.
313
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,388
I didn’t hurt myself
on any of these spikes.
314
00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:49,916
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G♪
315
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,614
♪ Me and you
We’re sitting in a tree♪
316
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,616
Oh, hey,
so I spoke to Sara earlier.
317
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,052
Oh, is she coming?
You know,
318
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,619
I did hear
a buzzing sound.
319
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,447
So it’s possible.
No.
320
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:02,319
I meant
to Woodsville, dumbass. Oh. Yeah, I forgot to ask.
321
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,017
Hey, Jimbo! Go deep!
322
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:04,974
Yeah, yeah!
Throw it, throw it!
323
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,933
Oh!
324
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:08,238
Sweet!
325
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,371
Speaking of going deep...
326
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,416
Uh, I don’t know
if it’s a good time.
327
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,201
Everyone knows
what happens to teenagers
328
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:15,811
who try to make love when
there’s a killer on the loose.
329
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,508
Brad’s right
about one thing, guys.
330
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:20,076
Okay, Ghostface is back.
We need to arm up.
331
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,687
Pepper spray, check.
332
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,515
Taser, check.
333
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,256
Butt plug,
334
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,779
double check.
335
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,042
Goddamn!
336
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,870
You just carry that thing
around?
337
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,523
It’s easy to hide.
338
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:38,094
In your butt.
339
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,227
I’m impressed.
340
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:52,979
What’s up, y’all? I’m back!
341
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:55,590
Shit, son!
342
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:57,722
Hey, what’s up, Unc?
"Unc"?
343
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,377
I’m tired of you
little Gen Z Alpha niggas
344
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:02,597
using terms like "unc"
and "auntie".
345
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:05,165
Gaslighting and glazing
and glamping,
346
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,210
trying to make my generation
sound old.
347
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,864
I ain’t your damn unc, nigga!
348
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,214
Shorty, you’re our
mother’s brother, so, yeah,
349
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:12,955
technically, you are our uncle.
350
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,915
Oh. My bad.
351
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:18,439
Crazy that they let you
teach here.
352
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,876
Teach? Nah, nigga.
353
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,443
I attend.
354
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:25,968
You looking at a proud
25th-year senior.
355
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:27,535
When are you
finally gonna graduate?
356
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:28,971
By the time we do a sequel
357
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:29,929
and I got to follow
you little young niggas
358
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,060
to college to get my check.
359
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:32,932
Wait, guys. Tuesday’s awake!
360
00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:35,325
All right! Tuesday!
Who the fuck is Tuesday?
361
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:36,674
Hey, we gotta go
to the hospital.
362
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:39,242
You gonna take the bus home?
No. The PJ.
363
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:40,896
Private jet?
364
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,071
Yeah. Jealous?
365
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,638
Man, you smoke weed all day.
366
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,162
Just play video games,
you live-stream.
367
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:47,685
You literally got money
doing nothing.
368
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:50,993
Exactly. I leave the hard work
for the old heads.
369
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,603
Shit, son!
370
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:56,259
Still the same Shorty.
Aight.
371
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,044
Check my crypto, nigga.
372
00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,915
Aw, shit,
I’m up three million dollars!
373
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,963
Damn,
now I’m down five million.
374
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,487
This shit crazy, son.
375
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:33,340
♪ I’m gonna let it shine♪
376
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:37,518
♪ This little light of mine♪
377
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:41,130
♪ I’m gonna let it shine♪
378
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:42,175
Ray!
379
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:44,133
Sister Brenda, it’s okay.
380
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,483
You heard the call of sin,
yes, you did.
381
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:47,876
But the Lord has called on us
382
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,487
to show men
such like you the way.
383
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:53,447
Come on, son! Come with us.
384
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,057
Come on us.
385
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,973
God see you coming.
So don’t cheat that come.
386
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:02,108
We need you to come
like you never came before.
387
00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,110
Come for the Father,
come for the Son.
388
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:06,503
I’ma hold your hand
and we gonna come together.
389
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:09,115
God is good, man!
Yes, sir.
390
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:10,116
Thank you, Jesus.
391
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,160
Amen.
392
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:12,118
Hallelujah.
393
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:13,728
There you go.
394
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:18,863
In the name of God,
let it go, Ray! Let it go!
395
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:19,777
Nigga!
396
00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,953
Oh, my bad.
397
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,303
Last time.
398
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:30,005
Let’s welcome a new member
to our congre-gay-tion.
399
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,528
Let the people know
400
00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,748
how you feel, brother.
There you go.
401
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,624
I’m not gay no more.
402
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,627
Hallelujah!
403
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:44,628
Yes, sir!
404
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,065
I’m not gay no more!
405
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,457
Praise the lord!
406
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,024
I’m not gay no more!
407
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,504
He not gay no more.
408
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,941
I’ve been delivered!
409
00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:55,204
I’ll no longer date a mans!
410
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:56,597
Even if he’s sexy as hell
411
00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:59,165
with a big old chesteses
and perky areolas!
412
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:00,775
Oh, yeah,
you still got a secret.
413
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:04,431
I’ll no longer
carry a purse, put on makeup,
414
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:05,475
walk around in high heels.
415
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,042
What?
416
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,392
Red bottoms. The one with
the cute little buckle
417
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:11,133
on the side.
Those is my shoes.
418
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:15,006
I’ll no longer go on Grindr
and swipe right
419
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,834
at Black mens...
Hmm?
420
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,010
...white mens, Asian mens.
421
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,448
You been on Grindr?
I’ll no longer take trips
422
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,364
to the Philippines
looking for ladyboys.
423
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:27,584
To Phuket. Ko Samui.
Back to Phuket.
424
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,934
Then to Vietnam to see
if I can get them any cheaper.
425
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,154
I thought that was for
our anniversary, Ray.
426
00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:34,200
Oh, this nigga
got a lot of miles.
427
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,463
I’ll no longer stand
butt naked in a mirror
428
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,639
with my penis
tucked between my legs...
429
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:41,468
...dancing like the dude from Silence of the Lambs.
430
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,600
"It puts the lotion in the basket, Precious."
431
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:46,429
I’m a changed man!
I’ve been delivered!
432
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:48,257
Shit.
I will!
433
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,172
I said I will!
434
00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:52,740
I will love a woman!
435
00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:55,308
Womans, womans, womans!
436
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,223
You can take that "W-O" off.
437
00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:58,615
Womans, womans, womans!
438
00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:00,878
Mens-es, mens-es, mens-es.
439
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:03,098
Womans--
440
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,277
No, no. No, no, Ray. No, no.
441
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,372
Gulp, gulp, gulp.
442
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,853
Whoa, nigga.
443
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,724
Hawk tuah,
hawk tuah, hawk tuah!
444
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,683
You hocking on it?
445
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,728
I’ve been delivered!
446
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:26,817
♪ Work, work, working it
For Jesus♪
447
00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:30,125
♪ No, the devilry is gonna
Stay beneath us♪
448
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,997
♪ The good praise
Really bumping Out your speakers♪
449
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,217
♪ I’ma dance
’Cause His glory Make me feel some type of way♪
450
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:37,176
♪ So we be
Twerk, twerk, twerkin’ it♪
451
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,134
♪ For Jesus♪
I’ve been delivered!
452
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:41,919
♪ No, the devilry is gonna
Stay beneath us♪
453
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,269
♪ Who make it happen?♪
454
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:45,053
♪ That’s Jesus♪
455
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,968
♪ Who have us clapping?
That’s Jesus♪
456
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:50,319
♪ And the devil can’t ever
Come between us♪
457
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:53,409
♪ We out here clap, clap
Clapping it for Jesus♪
458
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:56,282
Tuesday, Tuesday.
459
00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:58,849
Oh, my God.
460
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,938
Her face. All contorted.
461
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:02,723
Oh, my God, and the moaning.
462
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,253
I’ve been trying to get that
out for an hour.
463
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,473
How you feeling, Tues?
464
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,997
Hey, what are they giving you
for the pain? Is that--
465
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,129
Is that morphine or...?
466
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,219
Bitch.
Let’s see.
467
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,266
Oh, yeah!
468
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,443
Oh, this that good, good.
469
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:28,966
This that
Britney Spears shit.
470
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,359
Makes me want to
get half-naked,
471
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:33,014
dance around
and juggle some knives.
472
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:35,364
Sara, who’s that
Jeffrey Dahmer look-a-like?
473
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:38,193
Oh. This is my boyfriend, Jack.
474
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,282
Really nice to meet you.
475
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:42,719
Looks like Ted Bundy to me.
476
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:45,113
But that ain’t
none of my business.
477
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:47,246
Mm-hmm. Mm!
478
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:49,378
This little stabbed-up
bitch here needs some rest.
479
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,685
So y’all get the fuck out!
480
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:52,816
Yes, ma’am.
481
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,384
Oh, not you, Sara.
482
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,691
Why? What did I do?
483
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,694
I’m so scared.
484
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:04,263
Oh, Tues,
you should be.
485
00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:07,048
You’ve been stabbed nine times.
486
00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:09,442
And the killer knows
where you live.
487
00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:12,183
I would invite you to come
stay at my place, but
488
00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:14,795
I don’t really want
that kind of juju in my house.
489
00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:16,187
For all we know,
490
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,364
he’s standing
right outside that door.
491
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,023
That’s comforting, Sara.
492
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:27,416
I thought I was gonna die.
493
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:29,636
I know, me too!
494
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:32,160
I planned your funeral.
495
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,815
What the hell?
And I wrote your obituary.
496
00:21:34,989 --> 00:21:36,904
More like ChatGPT wrote it.
497
00:21:37,078 --> 00:21:38,253
But you’re still here.
498
00:21:38,427 --> 00:21:40,690
And I will never
let anyone hurt you.
499
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,825
Oh, yum! Ice chips!
500
00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:46,435
Oh, God!
501
00:21:46,609 --> 00:21:48,132
Get off me!
502
00:21:50,134 --> 00:21:51,397
Help!
503
00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:53,181
This white girl can’t die
on my shift!
504
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,748
I’m a DEI hire!
505
00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:57,490
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
She was fine a second ago.
506
00:21:57,664 --> 00:21:59,753
No! No, I’m good! I’m good!
Clear!
507
00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:01,711
Again!
508
00:22:01,885 --> 00:22:04,192
Come on, white bitch,
I need this job! Clear!
509
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,150
It’s not working!Clear!
510
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,762
We’re losing her.
511
00:22:08,936 --> 00:22:10,329
Harder!
512
00:22:13,810 --> 00:22:14,942
Oh, boy.
513
00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:17,031
Look like there ain’t
nothing left
514
00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:19,294
but thoughts,
prayers and pork rinds.
515
00:22:20,251 --> 00:22:21,383
Dear Lord.
516
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:23,472
Nurse Ratchett,
check out the wire!
517
00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:25,822
The Wirewas the shit, baby.
That’s my show.
518
00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:27,824
Drugs and that Idris Elba
519
00:22:27,998 --> 00:22:30,087
make this coochie
want to pop, pop, pop!
520
00:22:30,261 --> 00:22:32,525
Dear Lord, please
521
00:22:32,699 --> 00:22:33,961
accept this white bitch’s--
522
00:22:34,135 --> 00:22:35,876
Oh!
523
00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:38,095
The Lord works
in mysterious ways.
524
00:22:39,053 --> 00:22:40,097
I’m going on break.
525
00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:41,925
Oh, Tues.
526
00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:43,536
I will never let anyone
527
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:46,190
hurt you again.
Mm-mm.
528
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:51,413
Ooh! My bad.
529
00:23:03,207 --> 00:23:04,383
Hello?
530
00:23:04,557 --> 00:23:06,820
Hello, Sara.
531
00:23:06,994 --> 00:23:08,517
Who is this?
532
00:23:08,691 --> 00:23:12,173
Someone
who knows your little secret.
533
00:23:12,347 --> 00:23:14,828
No, no, I swear
that wasn’t a Nazi salute!
534
00:23:15,002 --> 00:23:16,395
Okay? I won Prom Queen
535
00:23:16,569 --> 00:23:18,527
and I was-- I was
throwing my heart to the crowd!
536
00:23:18,701 --> 00:23:23,184
No, I’m talking
about your family secret.
537
00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:27,710
Oh, you’re the fuck
who hurt my sister.
538
00:23:27,884 --> 00:23:30,017
Well, I had
to get you to come back here.
539
00:23:30,191 --> 00:23:32,628
Listen, if you want
to fuck with me, asshole,
540
00:23:32,802 --> 00:23:34,195
then come and get me!
541
00:23:34,369 --> 00:23:35,718
With pleasure.
542
00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:42,029
Help!
543
00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:44,074
Somebody help!
544
00:23:44,248 --> 00:23:47,034
Please, somebody help!
545
00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:49,297
Bitch!
546
00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:50,777
This the break room.
547
00:23:50,951 --> 00:23:51,778
Mm-hmm.
548
00:23:51,952 --> 00:23:52,996
We on break.
549
00:23:53,170 --> 00:23:54,607
Oh, God.
Preach.
550
00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:02,658
Take that!
551
00:24:02,832 --> 00:24:04,573
Oof!
552
00:24:06,183 --> 00:24:07,576
Please, save me!
553
00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:10,318
I’ve been saving people
all day!
554
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,233
So you handle yours.
555
00:24:12,407 --> 00:24:14,061
I’ll be right over here
556
00:24:14,235 --> 00:24:17,151
eating my falafel
and my pork rinds.
557
00:24:17,325 --> 00:24:19,153
I look like your mama?
558
00:24:21,024 --> 00:24:23,853
Try me now!
Break’s over.
559
00:24:30,381 --> 00:24:31,687
You’re welcome.
560
00:24:34,734 --> 00:24:37,867
It really looks like
you got hit with something hard. Like metal.
561
00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:40,348
I told you, I fell.
562
00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:44,308
Now where exactly
are we going? To talk to an expert.
563
00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:57,452
Go away!
564
00:24:57,626 --> 00:24:59,236
I’m so sorry to bother you.
We just--
565
00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:00,760
We just want to ask you
a few questions.
566
00:25:00,934 --> 00:25:02,501
Give me one good reason
567
00:25:02,675 --> 00:25:03,980
why I should talk to you.
568
00:25:04,154 --> 00:25:05,286
I’m white.
569
00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:07,027
How white?
Oh, I’m talking
570
00:25:07,201 --> 00:25:08,594
Candace Owens white.
571
00:25:09,769 --> 00:25:11,379
Oh.
Six feet.
572
00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:12,685
When you said expert,
I assumed you meant
573
00:25:12,859 --> 00:25:14,034
more like
Neil deGrasse Tyson or--
574
00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:15,122
Shut up.
575
00:25:15,296 --> 00:25:16,732
I’m Sara Campbell.
576
00:25:16,906 --> 00:25:19,213
I was attacked last night.
I think you should leave.
577
00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:21,868
I don’t want to get stabbed.
And I don’t want Covid, okay?
578
00:25:22,042 --> 00:25:23,434
Please, come on. Just--
Let’s go.
579
00:25:23,609 --> 00:25:24,610
Just two minutes,
that’s all I’m asking.
580
00:25:24,784 --> 00:25:26,002
No. No.
581
00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:27,526
I’ll give you eight minutes.
582
00:25:29,266 --> 00:25:30,572
And another thing.
583
00:25:30,746 --> 00:25:33,140
I got to test you for Covid.
584
00:25:34,881 --> 00:25:36,143
Ohh!
585
00:25:36,317 --> 00:25:37,361
Ahh...
586
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,015
You guys are good.
587
00:25:39,189 --> 00:25:40,974
When did the work week
become the "woke week"?
588
00:25:41,148 --> 00:25:44,107
We’ve got Black Friday.
What’s next, Mulatto Monday?
589
00:25:44,281 --> 00:25:45,848
I mean, Yellow Thursday?
590
00:25:46,022 --> 00:25:48,372
Tan Tuesday? Come on.
591
00:25:50,897 --> 00:25:52,246
Let me get this
out of your way.
592
00:25:52,420 --> 00:25:53,769
Oh!
Sorry.
593
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:55,597
Oh!
594
00:25:55,771 --> 00:25:57,164
Covid tests are done.
595
00:25:57,991 --> 00:25:59,296
Yup! You’re good.
596
00:26:01,516 --> 00:26:02,865
You’re Cindy’s daughter, right?
597
00:26:03,039 --> 00:26:04,606
Yeah.Yeah.
598
00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:08,218
I don’t know him.
This is Jack. My love interest.
599
00:26:08,392 --> 00:26:09,829
No! No, no, no.
600
00:26:10,003 --> 00:26:13,136
Rule Number One
of surviving a horror movie is,
601
00:26:13,310 --> 00:26:15,399
"Never trust
the love interest."
602
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:16,923
Look at him!
603
00:26:17,097 --> 00:26:20,709
He’s got that weird lazy eye,
poking one way
604
00:26:20,883 --> 00:26:23,886
and then he’s drooling
like a psychopath.
605
00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:25,801
He’s got that stump leg.
606
00:26:25,975 --> 00:26:28,325
Makes him all walk weird
and creepy.
607
00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:31,198
I don’t have a stump.
Well, that guy does.
608
00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:34,549
Oh I’m looking at me.
609
00:26:34,723 --> 00:26:37,987
Special Officer Doofy. Retired.
610
00:26:38,161 --> 00:26:41,164
Listen, Doofy,
we could really use your help.
611
00:26:41,338 --> 00:26:43,384
No. I can’t go back
to that life.
612
00:26:43,558 --> 00:26:45,952
Plus, we’re in the middle
of a global pandemic!
613
00:26:46,126 --> 00:26:47,431
Okay, I hate
to break it to you,
614
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:50,130
but Covid has been over
for, like, years.
615
00:26:50,304 --> 00:26:52,219
Hmm.Really?
616
00:26:52,393 --> 00:26:53,568
Yeah.
Yeah.
617
00:26:56,136 --> 00:26:57,659
Damn it!
618
00:26:57,833 --> 00:27:00,488
What am I gonna do
with all this canned meat?
619
00:27:02,098 --> 00:27:04,797
Get out! I don’t want
Ghostface to find me.
620
00:27:04,971 --> 00:27:06,233
And don’t come back!
621
00:27:19,028 --> 00:27:20,421
It’s the sound of the police.
622
00:27:25,774 --> 00:27:29,125
Special Officer Doofy,
reporting for duty.
623
00:27:29,299 --> 00:27:31,911
Okay, just because he showered
doesn’t mean that--
624
00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:33,216
No, I didn’t shower.
625
00:27:33,390 --> 00:27:35,741
I just take water
from my mouth and--
626
00:27:35,915 --> 00:27:37,743
You want some? Okay.
No, that’s okay.
627
00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:40,180
Come on, Doofy.
Yeah, let’s do it.
628
00:27:40,354 --> 00:27:42,008
Sara, is your
ghetto-ass mom coming
629
00:27:42,182 --> 00:27:43,487
or can we start talking
about this plot?
630
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:45,489
Uh...
631
00:27:47,578 --> 00:27:48,797
Hi.
632
00:27:48,971 --> 00:27:50,146
You came.
633
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,061
Not in, like, 15 years, honey.
634
00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:54,716
But I did buy this new rose,
635
00:27:54,890 --> 00:27:56,457
so fingers crossed.
636
00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:01,418
Oh.
637
00:28:01,592 --> 00:28:02,811
Oh!
638
00:28:02,985 --> 00:28:05,118
Oh, my old friend!
639
00:28:05,292 --> 00:28:07,598
You taught me how to dance.
640
00:28:07,773 --> 00:28:10,384
How to make a high N-word pie.
641
00:28:10,558 --> 00:28:12,734
Nigga, I’m right
in back of you.
642
00:28:12,908 --> 00:28:13,648
Shorty!
643
00:28:13,822 --> 00:28:15,084
What’s up, Cindy?
644
00:28:15,258 --> 00:28:17,304
How you doing? My nigga.
645
00:28:17,478 --> 00:28:19,567
Shit, son!
646
00:28:21,177 --> 00:28:22,875
I can’t believe you thought
I was dead.
647
00:28:23,049 --> 00:28:25,704
Well, between cancer
from the weed smoke
648
00:28:25,878 --> 00:28:28,141
your love of the McRib
and racist cops,
649
00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:29,708
I didn’t think
you had a chance.
650
00:28:29,882 --> 00:28:31,840
Yeah,
that’s a terrible combination.
651
00:28:32,667 --> 00:28:34,800
Hi, Cin.
Stop smiling at me!
652
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:39,195
Shit! WorldStar!
653
00:28:39,369 --> 00:28:41,284
WorldStar! WorldStar!
654
00:28:41,458 --> 00:28:43,765
Hey,
he’s intellectually disabled!
655
00:28:43,939 --> 00:28:45,767
That’s just how he looks,
you drunk honky.
656
00:28:45,941 --> 00:28:47,116
Hey, hey, hey!
657
00:28:47,290 --> 00:28:48,727
Don’t call that white bitch
a honky.
658
00:28:48,901 --> 00:28:50,076
C’mon, have some respect.
659
00:28:50,250 --> 00:28:52,948
I keep seeing people
smiling everywhere.
660
00:28:53,122 --> 00:28:54,515
I’m not very likable,
661
00:28:54,689 --> 00:28:56,691
so it must be
some kind of curse.
662
00:28:56,865 --> 00:28:58,519
Hey, everybody!
She’s high.
663
00:28:58,693 --> 00:28:59,912
Look what I got.
664
00:29:00,086 --> 00:29:01,740
Non-branded gelatin shots
665
00:29:01,914 --> 00:29:04,177
made with grain alcohol
and GHB.
666
00:29:04,351 --> 00:29:05,569
So ain’t nobody sipping nothing
667
00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,180
they didn’t consent to
like last time,
668
00:29:07,354 --> 00:29:08,398
which I apologize.
Mm-hmm.
669
00:29:08,572 --> 00:29:10,096
Take one.
I love roofying myself.
670
00:29:11,532 --> 00:29:12,185
No, Ma. No, Mama.
You sure, baby?
671
00:29:12,359 --> 00:29:13,664
Hi, Brenda.
672
00:29:13,839 --> 00:29:15,623
Please do not call me
by my government name.
673
00:29:15,797 --> 00:29:17,538
Call me Ma.
674
00:29:18,582 --> 00:29:19,366
Cindy!
675
00:29:19,540 --> 00:29:20,846
Oh, my God!
676
00:29:21,890 --> 00:29:22,761
You dropped the tray.
677
00:29:22,935 --> 00:29:24,153
Oh, my God, Cindy,
678
00:29:24,327 --> 00:29:26,112
I haven’t seen you in forever!
679
00:29:26,286 --> 00:29:28,897
My God, look at you!
You look the same!
680
00:29:29,071 --> 00:29:30,464
Minus the crow’s feet.
681
00:29:30,638 --> 00:29:32,727
And your hair is so dry.
682
00:29:32,901 --> 00:29:35,730
Oh, and your titties
dropped so far.
683
00:29:35,904 --> 00:29:38,559
Other than that,
you look the exact same.
684
00:29:38,733 --> 00:29:40,474
What have you been up to?
685
00:29:40,648 --> 00:29:42,693
Oh, you know,
neglecting my children
686
00:29:42,868 --> 00:29:46,045
so I can prepare
to kill Ghostface should he ever return.
687
00:29:46,219 --> 00:29:47,698
What about you?
688
00:29:47,873 --> 00:29:49,875
Well, I been mostly just
getting high school kids drunk
689
00:29:50,049 --> 00:29:51,441
in a desperate attempt
to stay young
690
00:29:51,615 --> 00:29:52,791
and keep my kids at home.
691
00:29:52,965 --> 00:29:54,357
I always knew
you’d be a great mom.
692
00:29:54,531 --> 00:29:55,750
Oh, Cindy!
693
00:29:55,924 --> 00:29:58,144
Should we hug?
Oh, I really want to,
694
00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:01,364
but I’m a Republican now
so I’m supposed to be racist.
695
00:30:01,538 --> 00:30:03,976
Oh, girl, I think all
white people are racist anyway.
696
00:30:04,150 --> 00:30:05,238
Come here.
Okay.
697
00:30:05,412 --> 00:30:07,196
Mm!
Oh!
698
00:30:07,370 --> 00:30:10,199
You want a shot? Yeah? Here.
Oh, yes, yes, please.
699
00:30:10,373 --> 00:30:12,549
You know, Ma,
this place could be so cool
700
00:30:12,723 --> 00:30:15,161
if you had, like,
a-a beer pong table over there,
701
00:30:15,335 --> 00:30:16,640
and maybe, like, a snack wall.
702
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:18,294
What you know about cool?
When I was your age,
703
00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:20,731
I was popping bottles
with Puffy, Puff Daddy,
704
00:30:20,906 --> 00:30:22,168
P. Diddy, Diddy.
705
00:30:22,342 --> 00:30:23,952
All the Seans.
706
00:30:24,126 --> 00:30:26,563
That didn’t age well.
Your momma was the freak
707
00:30:26,737 --> 00:30:27,695
in the freak-offs.
708
00:30:27,869 --> 00:30:29,349
Shit, son!
709
00:30:29,523 --> 00:30:30,785
You want to see something cool?
710
00:30:30,959 --> 00:30:33,440
I’ma show you something cool.
711
00:30:40,316 --> 00:30:41,448
God, that’s cool.
712
00:30:41,622 --> 00:30:42,623
What are you doing?
713
00:30:42,797 --> 00:30:43,537
What?
714
00:30:43,711 --> 00:30:44,668
No, not like that.
715
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:45,800
Like this.
716
00:30:45,974 --> 00:30:47,410
Oh, yeah.
717
00:30:47,584 --> 00:30:50,022
I don’t know why
y’all acting so scared.
718
00:30:50,196 --> 00:30:51,284
The gun ain’t even loaded.
719
00:30:51,458 --> 00:30:52,676
Shit!
720
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:54,940
Oh, shit, son!
721
00:30:55,766 --> 00:30:57,290
Uh-oh. I did it again.
722
00:31:00,728 --> 00:31:02,382
I always forget that last one
in the chamber.
723
00:31:02,556 --> 00:31:03,426
Help me move this body.
724
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:04,558
Yeah, you got it.
725
00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:06,125
That was fun.
726
00:31:06,299 --> 00:31:07,691
Oh, so, what are you doing
727
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:10,042
after this?
I want to go to Cabo.
728
00:31:10,216 --> 00:31:11,739
Oh, I love Cabo!
729
00:31:11,913 --> 00:31:13,741
You know what?
730
00:31:13,915 --> 00:31:16,048
I used to put cocaine
up my hoo-hah and travel there all the time.
731
00:31:16,222 --> 00:31:18,572
Well, that’s because
you’re so smart. Yeah.
732
00:31:24,056 --> 00:31:24,926
Oh.
733
00:31:26,710 --> 00:31:29,496
All right.
Let’s get back to the plot.
734
00:31:29,670 --> 00:31:31,324
I’m looking at you,
Ted Bundy eyes.
735
00:31:31,498 --> 00:31:32,629
Looking like a school shooter.
736
00:31:32,803 --> 00:31:33,717
I think you the killer.
737
00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:35,067
Oh, me?
Mm-hmm.
738
00:31:35,241 --> 00:31:37,025
Okay, what about
Deputy Doofy over there?
739
00:31:37,199 --> 00:31:40,289
I-I don’t have a motive.
You know, what’s my motive?
740
00:31:40,463 --> 00:31:42,117
You were the killer
in the first movie.
741
00:31:42,291 --> 00:31:44,728
Shouldn’t you be locked up?
No, I got pardoned.
742
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:47,862
Mostly because of the
storming the Capitol, you know.
743
00:31:48,036 --> 00:31:49,951
Oh.
I got proof.
744
00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:52,519
This is me. And it’s framed.
Oh.
745
00:31:52,693 --> 00:31:53,781
That’s a cool hat.
746
00:31:53,955 --> 00:31:55,609
What about Jess?
747
00:31:56,436 --> 00:31:57,393
What about me?
748
00:31:57,567 --> 00:31:58,786
If anybody here has issues
749
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,005
that could lead to murder...
750
00:32:00,179 --> 00:32:01,702
Okay, I get it!
751
00:32:01,876 --> 00:32:03,747
Trans-shaming
is not cool, okay?
752
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:05,880
They-- He’s just a dude.
Yeah.
753
00:32:06,054 --> 00:32:08,839
Minus the upper body strength
and the dick part.
754
00:32:09,014 --> 00:32:11,016
Hey, you don’t know
what I got down here, okay?
755
00:32:11,190 --> 00:32:13,061
I do.
Hey, hey.
756
00:32:13,235 --> 00:32:14,976
Listen, what we know so far
757
00:32:15,150 --> 00:32:16,673
is everyone who’s been attacked
758
00:32:16,847 --> 00:32:19,285
is related to
the original characters.
759
00:32:19,459 --> 00:32:20,590
He wants to kill the kids.
760
00:32:20,764 --> 00:32:24,551
Aha! He’s making a rebootequel.
761
00:32:24,725 --> 00:32:26,205
A what now?
Yeah. It’s like,
762
00:32:26,379 --> 00:32:27,641
a reboot and a sequel.
763
00:32:27,815 --> 00:32:29,948
Mixes legacy characters
with new characters
764
00:32:30,122 --> 00:32:32,907
in an attempt to feed into
bullshit nostalgia
765
00:32:33,081 --> 00:32:34,865
and bring more fans
to the theaters.
766
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,780
Just like last year’s
I Know What You Did Last Summer.
767
00:32:38,739 --> 00:32:41,263
That’s a movie?
What did I do last summer?
768
00:32:41,437 --> 00:32:43,526
I think you’re talking about
The Summer I Turned Pretty.
769
00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:45,050
Yeah.
Ray,
770
00:32:45,224 --> 00:32:47,052
when did you get here?
Oh, I been here.
771
00:32:47,226 --> 00:32:48,967
I was just hanging out
by the men’s room.
772
00:32:49,141 --> 00:32:50,229
Oh.
My room?
773
00:32:50,403 --> 00:32:52,144
Okay, so that means
774
00:32:52,318 --> 00:32:55,408
that our killer is writing
his own version of Horror Movie.
775
00:32:55,582 --> 00:32:59,151
Okay, so according to
the re-booty-call rules,
776
00:32:59,325 --> 00:33:00,369
who’s the killer?
777
00:33:01,762 --> 00:33:03,590
I think it’s pretty obvious.
778
00:33:06,332 --> 00:33:07,463
Who?
779
00:33:07,637 --> 00:33:09,552
You, bitch.
Me?
780
00:33:09,726 --> 00:33:11,554
Guys, I am not the killer.
781
00:33:11,728 --> 00:33:14,688
Ghostface attacked Tues
to lure me back here.
782
00:33:14,862 --> 00:33:17,996
I think he attacked Tuesday
to get you back here
783
00:33:18,170 --> 00:33:20,041
so he could get me back here.
784
00:33:20,215 --> 00:33:22,304
He wants to kill the OGs.
785
00:33:22,478 --> 00:33:23,697
That was a flex.
786
00:33:23,871 --> 00:33:24,915
Yeah, that sounds better.
787
00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:26,569
Aw, fuck this!
788
00:33:26,743 --> 00:33:29,529
And fuck you, Mother!
789
00:33:29,703 --> 00:33:31,052
To your mother?
790
00:33:31,226 --> 00:33:34,621
Hey! Don’t be so disrespectful!
791
00:33:34,795 --> 00:33:36,144
And call me Mom!
792
00:33:36,318 --> 00:33:37,450
Or Mommy.
793
00:33:37,624 --> 00:33:39,800
Or whatever’s more comfortable.
794
00:33:41,671 --> 00:33:42,890
All units, be advised:
795
00:33:43,064 --> 00:33:44,500
Suspect is still at large.
796
00:33:44,674 --> 00:33:46,067
Black cloak, white mask...
797
00:33:46,241 --> 00:33:47,677
...big-ass knife.
798
00:34:00,473 --> 00:34:03,258
Talk to me.
Hello, Sheriff.
799
00:34:03,432 --> 00:34:04,738
Agent Underwood?
800
00:34:04,912 --> 00:34:06,566
I’ll give you one hint.
801
00:34:06,740 --> 00:34:09,134
What’s your favorite
scary movie?
802
00:34:09,308 --> 00:34:11,179
Well, I’m gonna go
with Saltburn.
803
00:34:11,353 --> 00:34:14,095
I mean, the member on that
English guy was terrifying.
804
00:34:14,269 --> 00:34:17,316
Ken Jeong’s junk
in The Hangover was a much better depiction
805
00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:19,231
of the male anatomy.
806
00:34:19,405 --> 00:34:20,928
Now what do you want, fuckface?
807
00:34:21,102 --> 00:34:22,495
Well,
I’m just calling to tell you
808
00:34:22,669 --> 00:34:24,279
that by the time you get home,
809
00:34:24,453 --> 00:34:26,499
I’ll have gutted
your baby girl!
810
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,155
Hey, asshole, she’s a boy!
811
00:34:39,251 --> 00:34:40,165
Jess!
812
00:34:55,528 --> 00:34:57,007
Looking for this?
813
00:34:58,226 --> 00:35:00,054
Let me help you.
814
00:35:00,228 --> 00:35:04,189
I got your baby dick.
Winky, winky, winky.
815
00:35:13,415 --> 00:35:15,330
All right. Here we go.
816
00:35:15,504 --> 00:35:17,115
What do you want, fuckface?
817
00:35:17,289 --> 00:35:20,466
Well,
like father, like, uh, son?
818
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,294
Uh--
819
00:35:22,468 --> 00:35:23,817
I understand
you’re home alone.
820
00:35:23,991 --> 00:35:27,212
Well, Dad’s out, but
the pool guy, the gardener
821
00:35:27,386 --> 00:35:30,171
and the plumber
are all here, asshole.
822
00:35:30,345 --> 00:35:31,825
Look out your window.
823
00:35:35,002 --> 00:35:36,656
ICE!
824
00:35:36,830 --> 00:35:39,528
No! But they’re the backbone
of the American workforce!
825
00:35:39,702 --> 00:35:42,052
And I’m too white
to do those jobs.
826
00:35:42,227 --> 00:35:43,750
Let’s cut to the chase.
827
00:35:43,924 --> 00:35:45,882
I’ll ask you one question.
828
00:35:46,056 --> 00:35:48,798
If you answer correctly,
you live.
829
00:35:48,972 --> 00:35:52,541
Who was the killer
inHorror Movie?
830
00:35:52,715 --> 00:35:55,805
Oh, that’s easy.
It was Bobby and then Gay Ray
831
00:35:55,979 --> 00:35:57,807
the guy who was
totally into dudes,
832
00:35:57,981 --> 00:35:59,069
even though
he claimed he wasn’t.
833
00:35:59,244 --> 00:36:01,159
Classic 2000s homophobia.
834
00:36:01,333 --> 00:36:02,812
But I got you, bitch.
835
00:36:02,986 --> 00:36:05,728
Wrong! You forgot
Special Officer Doofy.
836
00:36:05,902 --> 00:36:08,557
Now you die.
837
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:17,827
Bumbaclot!
838
00:36:19,612 --> 00:36:21,179
You should
probably answer that.
839
00:36:21,353 --> 00:36:24,834
I can literally see you
trying to steal my package.
840
00:36:25,008 --> 00:36:27,359
Oh, shit!
841
00:36:28,751 --> 00:36:30,144
Ah, that was easy.
842
00:36:32,929 --> 00:36:34,757
Uh, someone
order steaks?
843
00:36:34,931 --> 00:36:36,803
It’s GoPuff.
Hmm.
844
00:36:38,848 --> 00:36:40,850
Wait a sec.
Careful.
845
00:36:41,024 --> 00:36:43,026
You wouldn’t want
to let in a killer.
846
00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:47,509
You are about to identify
as dead.
847
00:36:50,425 --> 00:36:51,600
You...
848
00:36:51,774 --> 00:36:54,212
stab like-- a girl.
849
00:37:01,915 --> 00:37:04,309
Come on, girl,
hit that Ghostface Shuffle.
850
00:37:04,483 --> 00:37:06,833
Try the Ghostface Killah
Collection Bundle.
851
00:37:07,007 --> 00:37:09,357
This is Keke West
for OnlyFans Rapid News.
852
00:37:09,531 --> 00:37:11,098
"Rapid News".
You mean "Vapid News".
853
00:37:11,272 --> 00:37:13,274
You don’t even
have a cameraman!
854
00:37:13,448 --> 00:37:14,580
My equipment!
855
00:37:15,972 --> 00:37:17,191
Excuse me.
856
00:37:19,019 --> 00:37:20,020
Oh, my. You’re--
857
00:37:20,194 --> 00:37:21,500
Yes, yes.
858
00:37:21,674 --> 00:37:23,153
Three-time Emmy nominee
859
00:37:23,328 --> 00:37:25,808
for Outstanding Achievement
in Sensational Reporting.
860
00:37:25,982 --> 00:37:27,897
I was gonna say
the lady from Friends,
861
00:37:28,071 --> 00:37:30,291
but shorter
and with less Botox.
862
00:37:30,465 --> 00:37:31,597
Oh. Is that
what you were
863
00:37:31,771 --> 00:37:33,163
"gonna say"? Yeah.
864
00:37:33,338 --> 00:37:34,730
You seriously don’t know
who I am?
865
00:37:34,904 --> 00:37:37,124
Babygirl, I am Gail--
Gail swallows!
866
00:37:37,298 --> 00:37:38,256
Hey.
867
00:37:38,430 --> 00:37:39,561
Hailstorm. Gail--
868
00:37:39,735 --> 00:37:41,868
Get the hell out of my way!
Oh.
869
00:37:46,133 --> 00:37:49,528
Doofus.
Hey, Gail.
870
00:37:49,702 --> 00:37:52,008
Wow. You haven’t aged a day.
871
00:37:52,182 --> 00:37:55,142
You’ve aged
like a million days. That’s this many. Five--
872
00:37:55,316 --> 00:37:56,883
Your fingers
smell like genitals.
873
00:37:57,057 --> 00:37:59,059
What are you doing
in that ridiculous uniform?
874
00:37:59,233 --> 00:38:02,671
Uh, I-I’m back on the case.
Yeah, I’m gonna bust Ghostface.
875
00:38:02,845 --> 00:38:04,107
Well, um,
876
00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,501
tell me,
Special Needs Officer Doofy...
877
00:38:06,675 --> 00:38:08,416
Um.
878
00:38:08,590 --> 00:38:10,026
Wow.
Are there any suspects
879
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,768
in this tragic yet completely
predictable incident?
880
00:38:12,942 --> 00:38:14,422
I-I’m not allowed to say.
881
00:38:14,596 --> 00:38:16,729
No, no, okay, no.
Yes, you can. Yes, you can.
882
00:38:16,903 --> 00:38:18,513
Not-- Yeah--
883
00:38:18,687 --> 00:38:19,645
You can tell me.
884
00:38:19,819 --> 00:38:20,994
Um, ah, oh, my God.
885
00:38:21,168 --> 00:38:22,212
What the f--
886
00:38:22,387 --> 00:38:23,779
Hey!
887
00:38:23,953 --> 00:38:25,694
Remember when
you used to give blowjobs
888
00:38:25,868 --> 00:38:27,696
for sensitive information?
889
00:38:27,870 --> 00:38:31,134
I don’t give blowjobs anymore,
okay? Not since MeToo.
890
00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:32,701
Okay. Sorry.
891
00:38:32,875 --> 00:38:35,269
I give handjobs now,
but the story better be good.
892
00:38:35,443 --> 00:38:38,707
Okay, I’ll do a handjob.
Let’s do it. Let’s do it.
893
00:38:49,631 --> 00:38:50,676
What the--
894
00:39:00,076 --> 00:39:01,295
I’m gonna get you.
Uncle Ray-Ray’s gonna get you!
895
00:39:01,469 --> 00:39:02,949
Ray?
You got my outfit,
896
00:39:03,123 --> 00:39:04,298
you little critter.
897
00:39:07,693 --> 00:39:09,695
Maybe weed shouldn’t be legal.
898
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,003
Fuck yeah, it should!
899
00:39:24,274 --> 00:39:26,146
Hello, Shorty.
900
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,802
You do know
that smoking is bad for you.
901
00:39:29,976 --> 00:39:31,456
Actually,
weed ain’t bad for you.
902
00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:34,546
You got Vitamin T, C and H,
903
00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:36,678
C, B and D.
904
00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:38,288
What’s the matter, Shorty?
905
00:39:38,463 --> 00:39:41,335
You look a little antsy.
906
00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:44,860
Maybe because there’s
a masked serial killer
907
00:39:45,034 --> 00:39:46,253
sipping tea in my den.
908
00:39:46,427 --> 00:39:48,081
Shorty, you’re my nigga.
909
00:39:48,255 --> 00:39:50,736
I mean, friend. Please, sit.
910
00:39:50,910 --> 00:39:52,085
All right.
911
00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,177
Do you want to quit smoking?
912
00:39:57,351 --> 00:39:59,527
Well, to be honest,
I tried to quit.
913
00:39:59,701 --> 00:40:02,878
But my mother said,
"I ain’t raisin’ no quitters."
914
00:40:03,662 --> 00:40:04,880
So I quit quitting.
915
00:40:05,054 --> 00:40:07,187
We could try hypnosis.
916
00:40:07,361 --> 00:40:09,102
Bro, I don’t care
how many pocket watches
917
00:40:09,276 --> 00:40:11,104
you try and wave
in front of my face
918
00:40:11,278 --> 00:40:12,845
it ain’t gonna work, son.
919
00:40:13,019 --> 00:40:15,587
You can’t magmetize me.
Sleep.
920
00:40:18,546 --> 00:40:20,418
Shorty.
921
00:40:20,592 --> 00:40:22,463
Hmm?
922
00:40:22,637 --> 00:40:23,943
What’s up?
923
00:40:24,117 --> 00:40:26,424
Tell me about your mother.
924
00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:29,339
Damn, nigga.
925
00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:31,037
Let’s start
with something light, like:
926
00:40:31,211 --> 00:40:33,082
"Do you lick ass, yes or no?"
927
00:40:33,256 --> 00:40:35,128
The answer’s yes.
928
00:40:35,302 --> 00:40:37,826
So what
happened to her, Shorty?
929
00:40:40,655 --> 00:40:42,440
She was coming home.
930
00:40:43,528 --> 00:40:45,530
Her car was parked
to the side of the road.
931
00:40:45,704 --> 00:40:47,619
Someone was in it.
932
00:40:48,533 --> 00:40:50,056
And something bad
was happening.
933
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:55,975
Why didn’t you call anyone?
934
00:40:56,149 --> 00:40:56,976
I couldn’t.
935
00:40:57,150 --> 00:40:58,499
I had warrants.
936
00:40:58,673 --> 00:41:00,153
You were 11.
937
00:41:00,327 --> 00:41:02,111
I started young, nigga.
938
00:41:03,243 --> 00:41:04,157
Oh.
939
00:41:04,766 --> 00:41:06,551
What do you see?
940
00:41:08,074 --> 00:41:09,249
I...
941
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:14,297
I see a big explosion of water.
942
00:41:16,125 --> 00:41:17,692
It was like
a Civil Rights hose.
943
00:41:22,131 --> 00:41:24,220
Police said
it was a murder/suicide.
944
00:41:25,395 --> 00:41:27,006
She killed that man.
945
00:41:27,180 --> 00:41:30,705
When they opened the car door,
his limp body just slid out.
946
00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:36,929
Like the green nigga
in Shape of Water.
947
00:41:37,103 --> 00:41:38,757
I just didn’t want it
to be real.
948
00:41:38,931 --> 00:41:40,976
What don’t you want to be real?
949
00:41:42,064 --> 00:41:44,066
That my mother was a squirter!
950
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:46,547
Okay! She was a squirter.
951
00:41:46,721 --> 00:41:49,028
All the floors
in her bedroom was warped.
952
00:41:49,202 --> 00:41:52,205
I can’t move.
You’re paralyzed.
953
00:41:52,379 --> 00:41:54,163
Now...
954
00:41:54,337 --> 00:41:56,383
...sink into the chair.
Wait, no.
955
00:41:56,557 --> 00:41:57,645
Wait.
Sink!
956
00:42:03,477 --> 00:42:06,088
Nigga!
957
00:42:14,488 --> 00:42:18,840
I’m in a K-hole, son!
958
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,845
No, you’re in a K-pop hole.
959
00:42:30,809 --> 00:42:31,897
♪ I smoked a bowl♪
960
00:42:32,071 --> 00:42:33,899
♪ Now I’m so stoned♪
961
00:42:34,073 --> 00:42:37,380
♪ Jeongmal nop-eun
Got me speaking in Korean♪
962
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:39,861
- Oh, shit, son!
- ♪ I got so high♪
963
00:42:40,035 --> 00:42:42,472
♪ I was out of my mind♪
964
00:42:42,647 --> 00:42:46,172
- ♪ I can’t feel my own face♪
- Nigga, I’m numb.
965
00:42:46,346 --> 00:42:48,522
♪ Was a problem child♪
966
00:42:48,696 --> 00:42:50,524
- ♪ Smokin’ Black and Milds♪
- That’s what they do in the hood.
967
00:42:50,698 --> 00:42:53,135
♪ Now I’m ’bout to get laid♪
968
00:42:53,309 --> 00:42:55,094
♪ Y’all are ’bout
To get sprayed♪
969
00:42:55,268 --> 00:42:58,532
- ♪ Now I’m flying
Time for dining♪ -
970
00:42:58,706 --> 00:43:00,839
♪ ’Cuz I got the munchies♪
971
00:43:01,013 --> 00:43:02,492
Luke Skywalker!
972
00:43:02,667 --> 00:43:04,277
♪ Don’t need a reason♪
973
00:43:04,451 --> 00:43:06,409
♪ To bang these demons♪
974
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:10,239
♪ Now it burns when I pee♪
975
00:43:10,413 --> 00:43:12,415
♪ We going up, up, up♪
976
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:13,808
♪ N****, we smokin’♪
977
00:43:13,982 --> 00:43:15,723
♪ We about to be tokin’♪
978
00:43:15,897 --> 00:43:18,900
♪ Gonna be, gonna be smokin’
Ohh♪
979
00:43:19,074 --> 00:43:21,816
♪ Up, up, up, n****
We smokin’♪
980
00:43:21,990 --> 00:43:23,775
♪ N**** we gonna be tokin’♪
981
00:43:23,949 --> 00:43:26,560
♪ Gonna be, gonna be smokin’♪
982
00:43:30,085 --> 00:43:31,783
That’s some good shit, son.
983
00:43:33,523 --> 00:43:35,047
That dream was wild.
984
00:43:35,221 --> 00:43:37,136
I must’ve been Elon Musk high.
985
00:43:41,706 --> 00:43:43,185
Ahh shit, son!
986
00:43:51,454 --> 00:43:52,630
Tuesday?
987
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:54,501
Tuesday?
988
00:43:57,678 --> 00:43:58,853
Bobby?
989
00:44:01,116 --> 00:44:02,901
Bobby, what the...?
990
00:44:04,293 --> 00:44:06,078
She’s gonna die.
991
00:44:06,252 --> 00:44:07,601
Our daughter, Sara?
992
00:44:07,775 --> 00:44:09,472
You’re probably right.
993
00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:11,692
She’s tough, but let’s see her
get stabbed in the gut.
994
00:44:11,866 --> 00:44:13,259
I’m gonna die.
995
00:44:13,433 --> 00:44:15,565
Bobby, you’re already dead.
996
00:44:15,740 --> 00:44:17,350
This hallucination
is a manifestation
997
00:44:17,524 --> 00:44:19,569
of my own guilt
for being an awful mom.
998
00:44:19,744 --> 00:44:22,137
Or it could be the shrooms
I just popped.
999
00:44:23,312 --> 00:44:24,574
You’re gonna die.
1000
00:44:24,749 --> 00:44:27,752
Bitch, you ain’t killing me.
1001
00:44:33,453 --> 00:44:34,584
You’re gonna die.
1002
00:44:35,324 --> 00:44:37,631
Stop smiling!
1003
00:44:37,805 --> 00:44:40,199
I can’t. Botox.
1004
00:44:40,373 --> 00:44:41,722
Hey!
Oh.
1005
00:44:41,896 --> 00:44:44,725
This is the mental ward.
Everyone smiles in here.
1006
00:44:44,899 --> 00:44:45,900
What?
1007
00:44:46,466 --> 00:44:48,598
How-- Um--
1008
00:44:48,773 --> 00:44:50,688
Could you point me
in the direction of the ICU?
1009
00:44:50,862 --> 00:44:52,385
Is it that way or that way?
1010
00:44:52,559 --> 00:44:54,039
Uh, visiting hours are over.
1011
00:44:54,213 --> 00:44:56,389
Oh, yes, of course.
1012
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,044
The network wants me to clarify
1013
00:44:59,218 --> 00:45:01,524
that Black Friday
has nothing to do with race.
1014
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:03,657
Well, just tell that
to my Black friend Benita
1015
00:45:03,831 --> 00:45:05,093
who’s probably clocking someone
1016
00:45:05,267 --> 00:45:07,095
over the head
at Target as we speak!
1017
00:45:07,269 --> 00:45:08,140
Right, Benita?
1018
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:25,244
Shamone!
1019
00:45:25,418 --> 00:45:26,898
Man, you ain’t Michael.
1020
00:45:27,072 --> 00:45:28,900
Michael got that Jheri curl.
1021
00:45:29,074 --> 00:45:30,902
What is that, son?
Is that shellac?
1022
00:45:31,076 --> 00:45:33,948
See, people think it’s shellac,
but it’s actually Sharpie.
1023
00:45:34,122 --> 00:45:35,558
Boy, your hair
looks like fondue.
1024
00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:36,951
Indoo-dy.
1025
00:45:37,125 --> 00:45:38,779
Michael’s got a monkey.
I got a llama.
1026
00:45:40,694 --> 00:45:42,130
Fuck Michael!
1027
00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:44,306
You can’t dance, boy.
I’ve been practicing.
1028
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,221
Oh! Whoa!
1029
00:45:46,395 --> 00:45:47,614
Jeez.
1030
00:45:49,050 --> 00:45:50,269
Yeah!
1031
00:45:50,443 --> 00:45:51,966
Bong! Ow!
1032
00:45:52,140 --> 00:45:54,882
I can moonwalk.
Ooh, ooh.
1033
00:45:55,056 --> 00:45:56,101
Ooh.
1034
00:45:56,275 --> 00:45:58,016
Where is this nigga goin’?
1035
00:46:00,105 --> 00:46:00,845
Ow!
1036
00:46:01,019 --> 00:46:03,021
Whoo!
1037
00:46:03,195 --> 00:46:04,762
"Jermaine".
1038
00:46:06,894 --> 00:46:10,202
Coming Juneteenth,
only on Tubi.
1039
00:46:12,595 --> 00:46:14,510
I’ma bootleg that shit.
1040
00:46:16,904 --> 00:46:18,036
Hello?
1041
00:46:19,341 --> 00:46:20,255
Fuck this.
1042
00:46:25,652 --> 00:46:27,306
I’m gonna miss you all.
1043
00:46:32,877 --> 00:46:34,400
Oh, hell no!
1044
00:46:34,574 --> 00:46:36,663
Think Black, don’t die.
Think Black, don’t die.
1045
00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:47,892
Oh!
1046
00:46:48,066 --> 00:46:50,155
Goddamn it!Jack?
1047
00:46:50,329 --> 00:46:51,983
Did Sara tell you to come?
Um...
1048
00:46:52,157 --> 00:46:54,855
Yeah! That’s why I’m here.
1049
00:46:55,029 --> 00:46:58,032
Not to murder you
or anything like that.
1050
00:46:58,206 --> 00:46:59,555
Then why
are you wearing gloves?
1051
00:47:00,556 --> 00:47:02,428
Would you believe I...
1052
00:47:02,602 --> 00:47:05,779
am thinking about dressing up
as O.J. Simpson for Halloween?
1053
00:47:05,953 --> 00:47:07,389
But those fit.
1054
00:47:08,260 --> 00:47:09,609
Look out!
1055
00:47:09,783 --> 00:47:11,654
Not cool, bro,
you almost hit a vein.
1056
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:13,395
I-I mean--
Help!
1057
00:47:17,356 --> 00:47:18,400
Oh, yes!
1058
00:47:22,361 --> 00:47:23,579
Oh...
1059
00:47:27,975 --> 00:47:32,023
Whew. I’m gonna gut you like a pig!
1060
00:47:36,636 --> 00:47:38,464
I’m gonna...
1061
00:47:38,638 --> 00:47:40,596
I’m gonna...
1062
00:47:40,770 --> 00:47:42,337
What a stupid line.
1063
00:47:44,426 --> 00:47:45,906
That is so true!
1064
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,778
What are you gonna do?
Turn me into bacon?
1065
00:47:53,435 --> 00:47:54,784
I got to get better writers.
1066
00:47:54,959 --> 00:47:57,396
I’m laughing so hard,
my ribs hurt.
1067
00:47:57,570 --> 00:48:00,747
Wait until
I stick my knife in them!
1068
00:48:07,580 --> 00:48:09,712
I’m crying over here.
1069
00:48:09,887 --> 00:48:11,323
I got to go
1070
00:48:11,497 --> 00:48:13,412
before you really kill me.
Here I come.
1071
00:48:13,586 --> 00:48:16,023
Oh, God,
I might die laughing first!
1072
00:48:17,938 --> 00:48:20,941
Oh. Oh, shit.
He’s really gonna kill me.
1073
00:48:42,615 --> 00:48:44,704
I want what they’re on.
1074
00:48:47,098 --> 00:48:49,578
I’m gonna turn you
into bacon, little piggy.
1075
00:48:56,020 --> 00:48:57,673
No, no.
1076
00:48:57,847 --> 00:48:59,501
No.
1077
00:49:01,721 --> 00:49:03,201
I’m sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
1078
00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:04,506
I’m so sorry.
Out of our way!
1079
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,813
Step aside.
Official police business.
1080
00:49:06,987 --> 00:49:07,988
Doofy!
1081
00:49:08,162 --> 00:49:10,556
I like doing that.
1082
00:49:10,730 --> 00:49:11,600
Ooh!
1083
00:49:12,601 --> 00:49:14,734
Smile, you son of a bitch.
1084
00:49:14,908 --> 00:49:17,911
What the f...?
My psycho mother said
1085
00:49:18,085 --> 00:49:19,957
always keep a strap.
1086
00:49:21,654 --> 00:49:22,916
Go! Go!
Okay.
1087
00:49:23,090 --> 00:49:24,439
I’m gonna go get
your love interest.
1088
00:49:24,613 --> 00:49:25,963
I’ll get your love interest.
1089
00:49:26,137 --> 00:49:29,270
Ow, the pain, the agony.
1090
00:49:29,444 --> 00:49:31,533
Sara, if I don’t make it...
1091
00:49:31,707 --> 00:49:34,058
Seriously, Tues,
stop trying to win an Oscar.
1092
00:49:34,232 --> 00:49:36,408
It’s a horror movie,
it’ll never happen.
1093
00:49:36,582 --> 00:49:38,584
Just ask Demi Moore.
1094
00:49:38,758 --> 00:49:41,500
No! No!
1095
00:49:41,674 --> 00:49:43,067
I got him. I got Jack.
1096
00:49:45,504 --> 00:49:47,506
Doofy! What the fuck?
1097
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:49,464
The fuck?
I can’t help myself.
1098
00:49:52,076 --> 00:49:54,252
It’s just me and you now,
Ghosty.
1099
00:49:54,426 --> 00:49:55,383
Hm.
1100
00:49:56,819 --> 00:49:58,691
You got to shoot them
in the head.
1101
00:49:58,865 --> 00:50:00,345
Shoot them in the head.
1102
00:50:02,782 --> 00:50:05,132
Oof. Ow.
1103
00:50:08,353 --> 00:50:10,572
Die!
1104
00:50:10,746 --> 00:50:12,357
Die, you little dumb dunce.
1105
00:50:12,531 --> 00:50:13,749
Smell...
1106
00:50:13,923 --> 00:50:14,968
my...
1107
00:50:15,708 --> 00:50:16,839
finger.
1108
00:50:17,753 --> 00:50:18,754
Oh, God!
1109
00:50:18,928 --> 00:50:21,366
What the fuck was that? Ugh.
1110
00:50:21,540 --> 00:50:23,237
My ass.
1111
00:50:23,411 --> 00:50:25,457
Fuck your ass! Pause.
1112
00:50:27,894 --> 00:50:29,374
Oh, God,
that’s-- that’s my ass.
1113
00:50:29,548 --> 00:50:32,029
Oh, God. Any last words?
1114
00:50:32,203 --> 00:50:33,900
I go poopy.
1115
00:50:38,818 --> 00:50:41,342
Oh, hell no.
I ain’t cleaning up that shit!
1116
00:50:41,516 --> 00:50:43,127
I’m on break.
1117
00:50:43,301 --> 00:50:46,652
Come on, I do the
killing, not the cleaning. Ugh.
1118
00:50:46,826 --> 00:50:48,828
What you say?
Never mind.
1119
00:50:49,002 --> 00:50:50,395
Yo, what’s up, chat?
1120
00:50:50,569 --> 00:50:52,049
This your boy Shorty.
1121
00:50:52,223 --> 00:50:53,659
That’s right,
it’s another Halloween-a-thon.
1122
00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:56,749
And it’s another day
of me getting paid mad money
1123
00:50:56,923 --> 00:50:59,099
for doing absolutely nothing
1124
00:50:59,273 --> 00:51:00,883
while you stupid motherfuckers
watch.
1125
00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:03,538
And they call me dumb!
1126
00:51:03,712 --> 00:51:06,715
I want to give a smooth
shout-out to my sponsor:
1127
00:51:06,889 --> 00:51:09,066
Angry Orchard Hard Cider.
1128
00:51:10,545 --> 00:51:12,939
They got mad apples, son.
1129
00:51:16,290 --> 00:51:19,119
We created a slogan!
I’m a marketing genius!
1130
00:51:19,293 --> 00:51:21,121
Aight. It wouldn’t be
a Halloween-a-thon
1131
00:51:21,295 --> 00:51:22,470
without a dope guest.
1132
00:51:22,644 --> 00:51:23,732
He’s a legend
in the streaming game.
1133
00:51:23,906 --> 00:51:26,866
Give it up for Kai Cenat!
1134
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,260
We gonna break the internet!
1135
00:51:29,434 --> 00:51:31,349
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1136
00:51:31,523 --> 00:51:33,090
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1137
00:51:35,483 --> 00:51:36,528
Let’s get serious.
1138
00:51:36,702 --> 00:51:38,573
What brings you to the chat?
1139
00:51:38,747 --> 00:51:40,314
You promised
I was gonna be in the movie.
1140
00:51:40,488 --> 00:51:43,274
I’ve been calling you.
You ghosted me.
1141
00:51:43,448 --> 00:51:46,015
Bro, I thought that was one
of my crazy-ass baby mamas.
1142
00:51:46,190 --> 00:51:47,539
That’s-- That’s my bad.
1143
00:51:47,713 --> 00:51:49,758
And speaking of ghosted--
1144
00:51:49,932 --> 00:51:51,673
Somebody wants to talk to you.
1145
00:51:51,847 --> 00:51:53,284
Hello?
1146
00:51:53,458 --> 00:51:55,112
What’s your favorite
scary movie?
1147
00:51:57,157 --> 00:51:58,854
Nah!
Oh!
1148
00:51:59,028 --> 00:52:01,335
Oh, whoa, whoa!
Ah!
1149
00:52:08,168 --> 00:52:09,909
We breaking the internet, son!
1150
00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:11,171
What’s up, my guy?
1151
00:52:11,345 --> 00:52:12,520
You got some Angry Orchard
1152
00:52:12,694 --> 00:52:13,826
Hard Cider in the house?
You damn right.
1153
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,523
They got mad apples.
1154
00:52:15,697 --> 00:52:17,134
Oh!
1155
00:52:17,308 --> 00:52:18,396
Wassup?
1156
00:52:18,570 --> 00:52:20,049
Wassup?
1157
00:52:23,270 --> 00:52:24,837
We about to do
my favorite thing:
1158
00:52:25,011 --> 00:52:28,623
Spin the... wheel!
1159
00:52:28,797 --> 00:52:30,712
Extreme Noodle Game!
1160
00:52:30,886 --> 00:52:32,410
We gonna go back there
with these noodles
1161
00:52:32,584 --> 00:52:33,498
and we gonna smack
1162
00:52:33,672 --> 00:52:34,673
the fuck out you!
1163
00:52:34,847 --> 00:52:36,109
Then you gotta guess
who did it.
1164
00:52:36,283 --> 00:52:36,805
That doesn’t even make sense.
1165
00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:38,807
This is a dumb game.
1166
00:52:40,722 --> 00:52:41,767
Oh!
1167
00:52:41,941 --> 00:52:42,898
Uh...
1168
00:52:43,682 --> 00:52:44,509
Kai. Kai.
Man, what?
1169
00:52:44,683 --> 00:52:45,423
Yeah.
1170
00:52:51,690 --> 00:52:53,866
Wait-- No, no, no--
1171
00:52:56,347 --> 00:53:00,351
You just killed Kai Cenat.
On the chat.
1172
00:53:01,830 --> 00:53:03,267
We making history, son!
1173
00:53:04,529 --> 00:53:05,617
Money, money, money!
1174
00:53:25,202 --> 00:53:26,594
Oh, thank God.
1175
00:53:31,077 --> 00:53:32,513
It’s about time
you guys got here!
1176
00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:35,037
Now you’re gonna get it.
1177
00:53:35,821 --> 00:53:36,865
Oof!
1178
00:53:38,302 --> 00:53:39,781
Hold still!
1179
00:53:39,955 --> 00:53:41,653
So that’s our suspect.
1180
00:53:41,827 --> 00:53:44,351
Goes by the name "Shorthand".Hmm.
1181
00:53:44,525 --> 00:53:48,399
Was the handyman at a house
reputed to be haunted in 2001.
1182
00:53:49,530 --> 00:53:50,923
Is there anything
you’re not telling me?
1183
00:53:51,097 --> 00:53:52,968
That your wife hates you
1184
00:53:53,142 --> 00:53:54,709
you believe the Earth is flat
1185
00:53:54,883 --> 00:53:56,842
and you voted for Trump
three times.
1186
00:53:57,016 --> 00:53:59,192
What, I was supposed
to vote for the woman?
1187
00:53:59,366 --> 00:54:00,715
Huh?
1188
00:54:00,889 --> 00:54:04,241
I believe Shorthand
is the notorious Ghostface.
1189
00:54:05,851 --> 00:54:07,896
What that mouth do?
1190
00:54:08,070 --> 00:54:09,463
Stop resisting!
1191
00:54:09,637 --> 00:54:11,726
He did look pretty sketchy.
1192
00:54:15,469 --> 00:54:17,384
They got the wrong guy.
1193
00:54:17,558 --> 00:54:19,256
And you know that
because you’re psychic?
1194
00:54:19,430 --> 00:54:21,345
No, says so
on the arrest warrant.
1195
00:54:23,869 --> 00:54:25,131
I don’t know.
1196
00:54:25,305 --> 00:54:27,394
That guy’s Black.
Nah, he’s kinda...
1197
00:54:27,568 --> 00:54:28,874
not that Black.
1198
00:54:29,048 --> 00:54:30,571
Like gravy brown.
1199
00:54:30,745 --> 00:54:32,138
Ugh!
1200
00:54:32,312 --> 00:54:33,835
Get him!
1201
00:54:34,009 --> 00:54:35,533
Hit him with your strong hand!
1202
00:54:35,707 --> 00:54:37,143
Boom!
1203
00:54:37,317 --> 00:54:39,972
Arrest him anyways.
Probably did something, right?
1204
00:54:40,929 --> 00:54:42,496
Turn off your body cams!
1205
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,325
Miss Hailstorm, welcome back.
1206
00:54:45,499 --> 00:54:48,372
Doc, I’m begging you.
You got to help me look younger.
1207
00:54:48,546 --> 00:54:50,025
These little bitches
are killing me out there.
1208
00:54:50,199 --> 00:54:51,244
They’re wearing nothing but a--
1209
00:54:51,418 --> 00:54:53,377
a sausage casing
and a ring light.
1210
00:54:53,551 --> 00:54:57,816
Trust me with this withered,
decrepit, age-ravaged body,
1211
00:54:57,990 --> 00:55:00,079
and I will make you whole.
1212
00:55:00,253 --> 00:55:01,515
One Middle-Aged
White Lady Special
1213
00:55:01,689 --> 00:55:03,169
coming right up.
Thanks.
1214
00:55:03,343 --> 00:55:04,475
I’m gonna play a quick video
1215
00:55:04,649 --> 00:55:05,867
on the ins and outs
of the procedure,
1216
00:55:06,041 --> 00:55:08,217
and then we’ll get started.
1217
00:55:12,004 --> 00:55:14,746
Do you wish
you weren’t so old and saggy?
1218
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,401
Do you wish you were younger?
Sexier?
1219
00:55:17,575 --> 00:55:19,141
Fuckable again?
1220
00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:22,580
One single injection
unlocks your DNA,
1221
00:55:22,754 --> 00:55:25,452
creating a new, better you.
1222
00:55:26,192 --> 00:55:28,412
This is The Stuff.
1223
00:55:30,022 --> 00:55:32,154
Doc, this isn’t that
Gwyneth Paltrow crap
1224
00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:34,243
that makes you
smell like her vag, is it?
1225
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:39,205
I like it.
1226
00:55:47,387 --> 00:55:48,736
♪ I feel...♪
1227
00:55:48,910 --> 00:55:50,521
♪ Brand fucking new♪
1228
00:55:50,695 --> 00:55:51,435
♪ New♪
1229
00:55:51,609 --> 00:55:52,697
♪ New♪
1230
00:55:52,871 --> 00:55:54,351
♪ Brand fucking new♪
1231
00:55:55,700 --> 00:55:57,571
Wow, that’s a lot of Stuff.
1232
00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:00,574
Oh, a mask on a mask.
1233
00:56:01,270 --> 00:56:02,794
Safety first, right, Doc?
1234
00:56:04,926 --> 00:56:06,841
Oh, no!
1235
00:56:08,234 --> 00:56:10,018
I’m having second thoughts!
1236
00:56:10,192 --> 00:56:12,325
I’m gonna love
and accept myself as I am.
1237
00:56:15,894 --> 00:56:17,243
♪ I feel♪
1238
00:56:17,417 --> 00:56:19,071
♪ Brand fucking new♪
1239
00:57:15,823 --> 00:57:17,651
Oops. Wrong movie.
1240
00:57:20,001 --> 00:57:22,308
You were thinking it.
But you said it.
1241
00:57:23,527 --> 00:57:25,442
White Chicks 2,my ass.
1242
00:57:25,616 --> 00:57:27,008
♪ I feel♪
1243
00:57:27,182 --> 00:57:28,357
♪ Brand fucking new♪
1244
00:57:28,532 --> 00:57:29,576
♪ New♪
1245
00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:32,492
♪ I feel brand fucking new♪
1246
00:57:33,972 --> 00:57:35,582
Hey, Sara.
1247
00:57:36,757 --> 00:57:38,237
Tuesday, I--
1248
00:57:38,411 --> 00:57:40,282
I tried to visit you.
1249
00:57:40,457 --> 00:57:42,763
I am sorry for everything.
1250
00:57:42,937 --> 00:57:44,722
Especially your name.
1251
00:57:44,896 --> 00:57:47,464
It was Taco Tuesday.
I was super drunk.
1252
00:57:47,638 --> 00:57:51,293
But I promise you,
I will kill this motherfucker!
1253
00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:52,730
It’s fine, really, we’re cool.
I’m gonna--
1254
00:57:52,904 --> 00:57:54,122
I’ll pull the car around.
We’re good.
1255
00:57:54,296 --> 00:57:55,776
I’m going to take you
to the car!
1256
00:57:55,950 --> 00:57:58,300
I got stabbed.
I’m not deaf, you dumbass!
1257
00:57:58,475 --> 00:58:00,955
I’m taking Tues away
from all of this!
1258
00:58:01,956 --> 00:58:03,131
Oh...
Come on, Cindy.
1259
00:58:04,002 --> 00:58:06,004
I tried to run, too, but...
1260
00:58:06,178 --> 00:58:08,615
it follows!
1261
00:58:08,789 --> 00:58:11,400
Now you’re probably expecting
a flashback to that movie,
1262
00:58:11,575 --> 00:58:13,881
but it’s too obscure.
Yeah, and the plot is weird.
1263
00:58:14,055 --> 00:58:16,275
You have sex with someone,
give them a STD
1264
00:58:16,449 --> 00:58:17,537
and then it haunts them
in the form
1265
00:58:17,711 --> 00:58:18,538
of their naked grandma.
1266
00:58:18,712 --> 00:58:20,845
It’s like a STD biopic.
1267
00:58:21,019 --> 00:58:22,194
Ugh, the killer is taunting me.
1268
00:58:22,368 --> 00:58:23,761
Why doesn’t he just kill us?
1269
00:58:23,935 --> 00:58:25,327
Uh, speak for yourself.
1270
00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:27,199
Like, what are you waiting for?
1271
00:58:27,373 --> 00:58:30,463
Oh, no, no, no, sweetie,
sweetie. It’s like this.
1272
00:58:31,769 --> 00:58:34,989
What are you waiting for, huh?
1273
00:58:35,163 --> 00:58:37,862
What are you waiting for?
1274
00:58:38,036 --> 00:58:40,560
What are you waiting for?
1275
00:58:40,734 --> 00:58:42,344
What are you waiting for?
1276
00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:44,042
God, I wish
you weren’t my mother!
1277
00:58:44,216 --> 00:58:46,827
What are you waiting for?
1278
00:58:48,394 --> 00:58:49,395
Candyman.
1279
00:58:50,265 --> 00:58:51,528
Candyman.
1280
00:58:52,354 --> 00:58:54,052
Candyman.
1281
00:58:54,226 --> 00:58:57,229
You sure about this?
Yeah, keep saying it.
1282
00:58:58,360 --> 00:58:59,536
Candyman.
1283
00:59:00,754 --> 00:59:02,713
Candyman!
1284
00:59:19,817 --> 00:59:21,906
So what’s up?
You got that candy, man?
1285
00:59:22,820 --> 00:59:25,083
I got weed gummies.
Yeah.
1286
00:59:25,257 --> 00:59:26,606
K-nuts.
Yeah.
1287
00:59:26,780 --> 00:59:28,303
Shroom chocolates.
Shit, son!
1288
00:59:28,477 --> 00:59:30,392
And what take you so long
to show up?
1289
00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:33,308
Come on, Clarence.
I called you five times.
1290
00:59:33,482 --> 00:59:34,962
Nigga, show up in three.
1291
00:59:35,136 --> 00:59:36,921
You ain’t even call me
on the phone.
1292
00:59:37,095 --> 00:59:38,487
Luckily I was walking by
1293
00:59:38,662 --> 00:59:40,620
and heard y’all
through the hole in this wall.
1294
00:59:40,794 --> 00:59:43,362
And fix that shit.
You shut your ass up.
1295
00:59:43,536 --> 00:59:46,060
You need to go
to a proctologist and get your skin looked at.
1296
00:59:46,234 --> 00:59:49,411
Having acne over
the age of 40 is wild work.
1297
00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:51,631
I look better than this nigga.
Maybe on this side.
1298
00:59:51,805 --> 00:59:54,242
Hey, ain’t no time for beefing.
We about to be high as fuck.
1299
00:59:54,416 --> 00:59:56,505
We gonna party, son!
1300
00:59:58,986 --> 01:00:00,945
♪ Coming in hot
They better watch it...♪ Happy Halloween, y’all.
1301
01:00:01,119 --> 01:00:02,424
Watch out for Ghostface.
♪ If they come For my spot...♪
1302
01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:05,123
That’s right. Drink up!
Hey!
1303
01:00:05,297 --> 01:00:07,995
Hey! I love it. Look at that.
1304
01:00:08,169 --> 01:00:09,431
You’re looking good.
1305
01:00:09,606 --> 01:00:10,955
You seen your sister?
1306
01:00:11,129 --> 01:00:13,131
♪ You always better♪
1307
01:00:13,305 --> 01:00:15,394
♪ When you at the top
But I had...♪ BRENDA: Ray, you seen Dei?
1308
01:00:15,568 --> 01:00:17,526
I-I can’t find her since
she went to that protest.
1309
01:00:18,223 --> 01:00:19,920
No.
1310
01:00:21,139 --> 01:00:24,577
Ray, let me guess.
You are Woody from Toy Story!
1311
01:00:24,751 --> 01:00:26,753
Nah, Brenda, that’s gay.Oh.
1312
01:00:26,927 --> 01:00:29,756
Jake Gyllenhaal
from Brokeback Mountain.
1313
01:00:29,930 --> 01:00:32,890
"I wish I knew how to quit you,
but I can’t."
1314
01:00:33,804 --> 01:00:35,980
You love that movie!
1315
01:00:36,154 --> 01:00:37,590
Hey, Brenda!
Huh?
1316
01:00:37,764 --> 01:00:39,679
Have you seen
my big old bag of candy?
1317
01:00:39,853 --> 01:00:42,769
It had chocolates,
gummies, lollipops.
1318
01:00:43,422 --> 01:00:44,423
I-It’s gone missing.
1319
01:00:44,597 --> 01:00:45,816
No, no, no, it’s not missing.
1320
01:00:45,990 --> 01:00:47,731
I passed it out
to the trick-or-treaters.
1321
01:00:47,905 --> 01:00:51,125
Brenda, that’s my stash!
1322
01:01:02,049 --> 01:01:05,662
I’m so fucking high!
1323
01:01:08,752 --> 01:01:09,753
Whoo-hoo!
1324
01:01:09,927 --> 01:01:12,669
I can’t feel my face!
1325
01:01:14,932 --> 01:01:18,849
I’m on that Naruto shit!
1326
01:01:19,763 --> 01:01:23,462
Six-seven! Six-seven!
1327
01:01:48,748 --> 01:01:50,358
Fuck.
1328
01:01:58,279 --> 01:01:59,672
Why is she looking at me?
1329
01:02:01,456 --> 01:02:02,327
♪ Fucking with a boss, yeah
It costs ya♪
1330
01:02:02,501 --> 01:02:04,372
A little disturbing.
1331
01:02:04,546 --> 01:02:05,852
I’m here for it.
1332
01:02:06,026 --> 01:02:07,462
♪ Yeah
It’s all there♪
1333
01:02:07,636 --> 01:02:08,594
♪ Bend it over
Touch your paws, yeah♪
1334
01:02:08,768 --> 01:02:09,464
♪ Make it talk, yeah♪
1335
01:02:09,638 --> 01:02:11,031
Oh. Okay.
1336
01:02:11,205 --> 01:02:13,251
♪ Make that ass jump
Uh-huh♪
1337
01:02:13,425 --> 01:02:14,295
♪ Make that ass jump♪
Hey, hey!
1338
01:02:14,469 --> 01:02:15,819
♪ You better♪
1339
01:02:15,993 --> 01:02:17,603
♪ You better
Make that ass jump♪
1340
01:02:17,777 --> 01:02:19,561
♪ My nigga sleep so you know
I’m outside tho♪
1341
01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:21,389
♪ Jet skis ass out
Crop top hoe--♪
1342
01:02:21,563 --> 01:02:23,130
Hey!
1343
01:02:23,304 --> 01:02:26,655
Do you know how many baby seals
die from microplastics?
1344
01:02:34,315 --> 01:02:35,229
Shit.
1345
01:02:35,403 --> 01:02:36,970
It’s Ghostface!
1346
01:02:41,714 --> 01:02:43,368
Oh, my God! He stabbed her!
1347
01:02:43,542 --> 01:02:46,458
Not "her".
My pronouns are "they/them".
1348
01:02:46,632 --> 01:02:48,329
He stabbed "them"!
1349
01:02:48,503 --> 01:02:51,028
I’m over 40. How am I supposed
to keep up with all of this?
1350
01:02:51,202 --> 01:02:52,203
She’s not wrong.
1351
01:02:52,377 --> 01:02:54,031
It’s Karens like you
1352
01:02:54,205 --> 01:02:57,512
that keep the patriarchy going,
with their knees on our necks!
1353
01:02:57,686 --> 01:03:00,211
Now you’re playing
the race card?
1354
01:03:00,385 --> 01:03:02,909
I’ve had enough of her shit.
"Their" shit, bitch!
1355
01:03:06,043 --> 01:03:07,044
And to be clear,
1356
01:03:07,218 --> 01:03:09,786
my real name is Karen!
1357
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:11,788
Oh, shit. This is too good.
1358
01:03:11,962 --> 01:03:13,528
Ignore the insults.
1359
01:03:13,702 --> 01:03:15,704
"They" don’t realize
we’re here to help "them".
1360
01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:17,445
Toxic masculinity
1361
01:03:17,619 --> 01:03:20,231
and mansplaining
doesn’t help anybody!
1362
01:03:20,405 --> 01:03:22,146
How is my masculinity toxic?
1363
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:23,930
I love women and sports.
1364
01:03:24,104 --> 01:03:26,759
Just not together.
Come here, bitch.
1365
01:03:26,933 --> 01:03:28,587
My turn!
1366
01:03:28,761 --> 01:03:30,110
Me next!
They ain’t ready for
1367
01:03:30,284 --> 01:03:31,242
this!
1368
01:03:31,416 --> 01:03:32,373
Let me at them!
Me next!
1369
01:03:32,547 --> 01:03:33,331
Fuck your pronouns.
Oh, shit.
1370
01:03:33,505 --> 01:03:34,767
Suck knife.
1371
01:03:38,423 --> 01:03:40,164
I blame the manosphere.
1372
01:03:40,338 --> 01:03:41,556
♪ Hit the bar
Rock side-to-side♪
1373
01:03:41,730 --> 01:03:43,471
♪ And lean in a bit♪
1374
01:03:43,645 --> 01:03:44,733
♪ Shining like a star
’Cause every night...♪
1375
01:03:44,908 --> 01:03:46,692
Uncle Shorty.
What’s up, nephew?
1376
01:03:46,866 --> 01:03:48,433
Can I ask you something?
1377
01:03:48,955 --> 01:03:50,217
Yeah, shoot.
1378
01:03:51,305 --> 01:03:53,177
It’s about, y-you know
1379
01:03:53,351 --> 01:03:54,918
how to go down on a girl.
1380
01:03:55,744 --> 01:03:56,789
You talking about eating pussy?
1381
01:03:56,963 --> 01:03:59,574
That’s so cringe, but yeah.
1382
01:03:59,748 --> 01:04:02,534
Well, maybe if you stop talking
like a 14-year-old white girl
1383
01:04:02,708 --> 01:04:04,188
you could learn something.
1384
01:04:04,362 --> 01:04:05,667
All right, so listen up.
1385
01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:07,191
First thing you got to do,
you got to--
1386
01:04:07,365 --> 01:04:08,932
You got to spread them legs.
You got to open it up.
1387
01:04:09,106 --> 01:04:10,716
Then you want
to use your fingers.
1388
01:04:10,890 --> 01:04:13,632
Sometimes you can use two.
Two fingers, like that there.
1389
01:04:13,806 --> 01:04:14,981
Yeah?
1390
01:04:15,155 --> 01:04:16,853
Now, once you get it
all in there, now...
1391
01:04:17,636 --> 01:04:18,985
you got to use your tongue.
1392
01:04:19,159 --> 01:04:20,421
You can’t be afraid of it.
1393
01:04:23,729 --> 01:04:25,252
Yeah, lean into it.
1394
01:04:25,426 --> 01:04:26,775
Nah, nah, nah,
you doing it too fast.
1395
01:04:28,299 --> 01:04:29,561
What are you, a lizard?
1396
01:04:29,735 --> 01:04:31,519
You got to be gentle.
You got to talk to it.
1397
01:04:31,693 --> 01:04:33,086
"Hey there, little guy,
1398
01:04:33,260 --> 01:04:34,871
how you doing?"
Hey there, little guy.
1399
01:04:35,828 --> 01:04:38,265
Boom!
Just like rolling a blunt.
1400
01:04:38,439 --> 01:04:40,267
All you got to do, nephew...
1401
01:04:43,923 --> 01:04:45,403
Is hit that shit.
1402
01:04:46,099 --> 01:04:47,448
Got it?
Mm-hmm.
1403
01:04:47,622 --> 01:04:49,015
All right, now
1404
01:04:49,189 --> 01:04:52,627
if you want to learn
to lick ass, ask your mama.
1405
01:04:54,978 --> 01:04:57,502
You feel so good.
1406
01:04:59,069 --> 01:05:00,157
Oh, yeah.
1407
01:05:00,331 --> 01:05:01,854
Elle.
1408
01:05:02,028 --> 01:05:03,464
I want to try something.
1409
01:05:03,638 --> 01:05:05,684
I-I thought you said
you’d never let me peg you.
1410
01:05:05,858 --> 01:05:07,381
What? No.
1411
01:05:07,555 --> 01:05:08,948
Relax.
1412
01:05:09,122 --> 01:05:10,558
I just want to taste you.
1413
01:05:13,213 --> 01:05:14,388
Okay.
1414
01:05:15,868 --> 01:05:17,478
Dinner time.
1415
01:05:17,652 --> 01:05:20,090
Oh, yeah, come here, baby.
1416
01:05:23,136 --> 01:05:25,312
Careful. My kitty is gangster.
1417
01:05:25,486 --> 01:05:27,184
Oh! Oh...
1418
01:05:27,358 --> 01:05:29,490
It is gangster. Okay.
1419
01:05:29,664 --> 01:05:32,276
Slapped you so hard,
you want some more. Yeah!
1420
01:05:36,193 --> 01:05:37,498
Oh!
1421
01:05:37,672 --> 01:05:40,414
You feel so much better
than Darrel and them.
1422
01:05:40,588 --> 01:05:41,546
Choo-choo!
1423
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:42,721
Get back in there!
1424
01:05:42,895 --> 01:05:44,114
Yeah! Lick it!
1425
01:05:44,288 --> 01:05:46,507
Yeah! Lick it hard!
1426
01:05:47,813 --> 01:05:48,988
Finish her.
1427
01:05:50,816 --> 01:05:53,906
Oh, my God!
1428
01:05:56,343 --> 01:05:57,910
Just like rolling a blunt.
1429
01:05:59,129 --> 01:06:01,044
Now all I got to do is hit it.
1430
01:06:03,611 --> 01:06:05,222
Oh-- Oof!
1431
01:06:05,396 --> 01:06:06,658
Elle!
1432
01:06:09,008 --> 01:06:10,314
What the fuck?
1433
01:06:10,488 --> 01:06:12,969
Hey there. We heard tell
of a Halloween party.
1434
01:06:13,621 --> 01:06:14,796
You did now, did you?
1435
01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:16,102
We’re here to drink,
1436
01:06:16,276 --> 01:06:18,452
play bad music,
do some half gay shit.
1437
01:06:19,279 --> 01:06:20,498
Why just half gay?
1438
01:06:21,325 --> 01:06:22,195
Can I help you?
1439
01:06:22,369 --> 01:06:24,458
If you just invite us in.
1440
01:06:24,632 --> 01:06:26,069
Why you need a invitation?
1441
01:06:26,243 --> 01:06:27,809
White folks show up
to parties uninvited
1442
01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:30,334
all the time with their little
nasty-ass casseroles.
1443
01:06:30,508 --> 01:06:32,684
Bland as shit. Y’all better
start using some Lawry’s.
1444
01:06:32,858 --> 01:06:35,121
Mm-hmm.
And why she got them dirty-ass feet?
1445
01:06:35,295 --> 01:06:37,950
Look like you
was walking around porn sets all day.
1446
01:06:38,124 --> 01:06:39,256
Got them trailer park toes.
1447
01:06:39,430 --> 01:06:41,040
Shit, son!
1448
01:06:41,214 --> 01:06:43,695
I think you’re in
the wrong place. Y’all Klan?
1449
01:06:44,783 --> 01:06:45,871
No.
1450
01:06:46,045 --> 01:06:48,743
We believe in music
and equality.
1451
01:06:48,917 --> 01:06:50,136
How about we show y’all?
1452
01:06:50,310 --> 01:06:52,356
It’s okay, no.
1453
01:06:52,530 --> 01:06:54,706
♪ Well, we’re movin’ on up♪
♪ Movin’ on up♪
1454
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:58,449
♪ To the East Side♪
♪ Movin’ on up♪
1455
01:06:58,623 --> 01:07:00,625
♪ To a deluxe apartment♪
♪ Ooh♪
1456
01:07:00,799 --> 01:07:02,844
♪ In the sky♪
♪ Ooh♪
1457
01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:04,498
♪ We’re movin’ on up♪
1458
01:07:04,672 --> 01:07:06,500
They gentrified the Jeffersons?
1459
01:07:06,674 --> 01:07:08,676
Weezy’s rolling around
in her grave right now.
1460
01:07:08,850 --> 01:07:11,636
You can’t do this
to the Black National Anthem.
1461
01:07:11,810 --> 01:07:15,770
♪ We finally got
A piece of the pie!♪
1462
01:07:19,078 --> 01:07:20,471
Boo!
1463
01:07:20,645 --> 01:07:22,429
Nigga, you suck!
Boo your ass!
1464
01:07:22,603 --> 01:07:24,562
We worked hard on this!
Take that bullshit out of here!
1465
01:07:24,736 --> 01:07:26,172
We ain’t got time
for that dumb shit!
1466
01:07:26,346 --> 01:07:28,044
Why won’t ya just go
to one of those frat parties
1467
01:07:28,218 --> 01:07:29,697
where they drink until
they black out
1468
01:07:29,871 --> 01:07:31,308
and wake up
with their booties hurting,
1469
01:07:31,482 --> 01:07:33,484
not knowing what someone
in a cowboy hat did to them?
1470
01:07:33,658 --> 01:07:34,833
Yeah! What?
1471
01:07:35,007 --> 01:07:36,139
Okay.
1472
01:07:36,313 --> 01:07:38,054
Well, we will leave
you guys alone.
1473
01:07:38,228 --> 01:07:39,446
But we’re gonna walk real slow
1474
01:07:39,620 --> 01:07:41,927
just in case
y’all change your minds.
1475
01:07:44,234 --> 01:07:45,974
Change your minds yet?
No.
1476
01:07:46,149 --> 01:07:47,063
Not at all.
Hell no.
1477
01:07:47,237 --> 01:07:48,455
How about now?
1478
01:07:48,629 --> 01:07:50,240
Fuck no!
No!
1479
01:07:50,414 --> 01:07:51,415
Yes?
Hell to the nah.
1480
01:07:51,589 --> 01:07:52,764
Definitely not!
Keep walking!
1481
01:07:52,938 --> 01:07:54,113
Now git!
Let’s go.
1482
01:07:54,287 --> 01:07:55,419
Sara, come on!
White folks
1483
01:07:55,593 --> 01:07:57,377
is getting weird again.
1484
01:07:59,858 --> 01:08:02,165
Guys, I think I saw
an open window over here.
1485
01:08:02,339 --> 01:08:03,427
That window’s closed.
1486
01:08:03,601 --> 01:08:05,168
Not for long.
1487
01:08:11,348 --> 01:08:12,392
Wicked.
1488
01:08:12,566 --> 01:08:13,915
Oh, God. Fucking idiots.
1489
01:08:15,482 --> 01:08:17,484
♪ Bad, bad, bad to the bone♪
1490
01:08:17,658 --> 01:08:19,399
♪ We can play
But you can’t take me home♪
1491
01:08:19,573 --> 01:08:20,879
♪ Bad, bad shows off the...♪
1492
01:08:21,053 --> 01:08:25,013
Hey! Tuesday! You came back!
1493
01:08:25,188 --> 01:08:27,190
Yeah, I left my inhaler.
1494
01:08:27,364 --> 01:08:30,193
Honestly, Tuesday,
that inhaler is the worst plot device in movie history.
1495
01:08:30,367 --> 01:08:31,890
That’s true,
should’ve been a vape.
1496
01:08:32,064 --> 01:08:34,458
But we’re here now,
so let’s make the most of it.
1497
01:08:34,632 --> 01:08:36,808
Now where them White Claws at?
1498
01:08:41,726 --> 01:08:43,467
Sara?
Hello.
1499
01:08:43,641 --> 01:08:46,905
Get your sister and get out
of there right now. Okay, hon?
1500
01:08:47,079 --> 01:08:49,777
I am a grown-ass woman, Mother.
1501
01:08:49,951 --> 01:08:51,736
I don’t have to do
anything you tell me to do.
1502
01:08:51,910 --> 01:08:53,694
That’s the house where
your psycho father
1503
01:08:53,868 --> 01:08:55,043
killed those people.
1504
01:08:55,218 --> 01:08:56,480
Someone wanted
to get you there.
1505
01:08:56,654 --> 01:08:58,482
Which means...
1506
01:08:58,656 --> 01:09:01,224
someone wants to get me there.
1507
01:09:01,398 --> 01:09:02,877
Oh, my God,
this isn’t about you!
1508
01:09:03,051 --> 01:09:04,401
Why are you yelling?
1509
01:09:04,575 --> 01:09:07,360
Because the camera’s
so fucking far away!
1510
01:09:07,534 --> 01:09:10,407
Wait, hold on.
Are you tracking my phone?
1511
01:09:10,581 --> 01:09:11,538
You’re breaking up.
1512
01:09:11,712 --> 01:09:12,757
Uh-- Yeah.
1513
01:09:18,066 --> 01:09:20,678
Happy Birthday!
1514
01:09:20,852 --> 01:09:24,029
Hey, that’s my car!
1515
01:09:27,380 --> 01:09:28,816
What the fuck?
1516
01:09:28,990 --> 01:09:30,340
Elle!
1517
01:09:31,297 --> 01:09:32,559
I’m sorry!
1518
01:09:32,733 --> 01:09:35,040
I thought
I was supposed to smoke it.
1519
01:09:35,780 --> 01:09:36,911
Oh, shit.
1520
01:09:40,915 --> 01:09:43,266
Seriously? With the
12 Years a Slaveshit?
1521
01:09:43,440 --> 01:09:46,356
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I didn’t see that movie, okay?
1522
01:09:46,530 --> 01:09:49,010
I just found this thing
in the shed. Jesus.
1523
01:09:55,408 --> 01:09:56,888
Come on, bro!
1524
01:09:57,062 --> 01:09:58,324
That’s even worse.
1525
01:09:59,543 --> 01:10:01,762
I didn’t mean it that way.
1526
01:10:01,936 --> 01:10:03,851
Some of my best victims
are Black.
1527
01:10:06,985 --> 01:10:10,118
And another brother
falls victim to gun violence.
1528
01:10:11,032 --> 01:10:13,296
Turns out
race is still an issue.
1529
01:10:13,470 --> 01:10:14,993
That’s not fair!
1530
01:10:15,167 --> 01:10:17,125
You know, Black guys usually
die first in horror movies.
1531
01:10:20,564 --> 01:10:22,000
Damn!
1532
01:10:22,174 --> 01:10:24,437
This give whole new meaning
to Dead By Daylight.
1533
01:10:24,611 --> 01:10:26,483
Yeah.
1534
01:10:26,657 --> 01:10:29,486
Oh. Get them, son.
1535
01:10:29,660 --> 01:10:31,923
Goofy ass out of here.
1536
01:10:34,752 --> 01:10:36,362
Hello, Shorty.
1537
01:10:36,536 --> 01:10:38,712
Cuckoo! Get him, niggas!
1538
01:10:40,453 --> 01:10:44,588
Got your silly ass!
You about to be high as fuck.
1539
01:10:44,762 --> 01:10:46,851
♪ Party♪
♪ Aw, yeah, aw, yeah♪
1540
01:10:47,025 --> 01:10:47,808
♪ Ain’t nobody standing...♪
1541
01:10:47,982 --> 01:10:48,766
Nigga!
1542
01:10:48,940 --> 01:10:53,292
Ah, shit, son!
1543
01:10:53,466 --> 01:10:55,642
Bro, why you running
backwards, son?
1544
01:10:55,816 --> 01:10:57,296
I don’t know.
It’s not me.
1545
01:10:57,470 --> 01:10:58,515
Something’s wrong with this.
1546
01:10:58,689 --> 01:11:00,212
Nigga,
your remote is upside-down!
1547
01:11:00,386 --> 01:11:02,475
You’re fucking high, son.
1548
01:11:02,649 --> 01:11:03,998
Game on, bitches!
Yeah.
1549
01:11:09,482 --> 01:11:10,831
Oh!
Wrong nigga.
1550
01:11:11,005 --> 01:11:12,442
Black Lives Matter!
1551
01:11:12,616 --> 01:11:13,965
Not you, Shorty!
1552
01:11:14,139 --> 01:11:15,227
Oh, my-- I need you.
1553
01:11:15,401 --> 01:11:17,142
Whoa, what is going on?
Oh, Jack!
1554
01:11:17,316 --> 01:11:19,797
Oh, thank God you’re here!
Where were you?
1555
01:11:19,971 --> 01:11:21,364
Ghostface was just here!
1556
01:11:21,538 --> 01:11:23,627
I was just outside
getting some fresh air.
1557
01:11:23,801 --> 01:11:24,802
Stop!
1558
01:11:25,803 --> 01:11:28,109
One of you is the killer.
1559
01:11:28,719 --> 01:11:29,720
Elle...
1560
01:11:30,721 --> 01:11:32,244
why do you have blood
on your hands?
1561
01:11:33,767 --> 01:11:36,117
I found Brad outside.
1562
01:11:36,292 --> 01:11:37,597
She’s the killer!
1563
01:11:37,771 --> 01:11:39,860
I am not the killer, okay?
1564
01:11:40,034 --> 01:11:42,776
I’m not even sex positive.
I’m a virgin.
1565
01:11:42,950 --> 01:11:44,343
No way.
1566
01:11:44,517 --> 01:11:45,736
You’ve banged, like,
every dude in Woodsville.
1567
01:11:45,910 --> 01:11:47,694
Fuck you!
1568
01:11:47,868 --> 01:11:49,348
Whoa!
1569
01:11:49,522 --> 01:11:52,220
The butt doesn’t count.
1570
01:11:52,395 --> 01:11:54,092
Oh!
1571
01:11:54,266 --> 01:11:55,267
Shit, she shot Ashton!
1572
01:11:55,441 --> 01:11:59,010
Welcome to Act Three, bitches.
1573
01:12:00,533 --> 01:12:01,360
What?
1574
01:12:02,535 --> 01:12:04,145
What does that even mean?
1575
01:12:05,146 --> 01:12:07,061
It’s when the shit goes down.
1576
01:12:07,235 --> 01:12:08,585
Oh.
1577
01:12:08,759 --> 01:12:09,847
I still don’t really know
what she means,
1578
01:12:10,021 --> 01:12:12,110
but I think we should run!
Run!
1579
01:12:27,908 --> 01:12:28,822
Cindy!
1580
01:12:28,996 --> 01:12:30,563
Brenda.
1581
01:12:30,737 --> 01:12:32,348
Cindy, they in there shooting!
1582
01:12:32,522 --> 01:12:34,001
These kids are wild!
1583
01:12:34,175 --> 01:12:35,829
I blame it on video games,
1584
01:12:36,003 --> 01:12:38,441
not the liquor
or lack of parental supervision.
1585
01:12:38,615 --> 01:12:39,790
You’re gonna need this.Oh.
1586
01:12:39,964 --> 01:12:42,009
Do you have one bigger
in black?
1587
01:12:42,183 --> 01:12:43,837
Oh, wrong bag.
1588
01:12:44,925 --> 01:12:45,665
Here.
Ooh.
1589
01:12:45,839 --> 01:12:47,580
Who are you, Joan Wick?
1590
01:12:47,754 --> 01:12:50,235
I would’ve said Ballerina,
but nobody saw that shit.
1591
01:12:51,236 --> 01:12:52,106
Let’s do this.
1592
01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:53,586
Okay.
1593
01:12:56,459 --> 01:12:58,635
Help! He stabbed me!
1594
01:12:58,809 --> 01:13:01,420
I’m definitely not faking it.
Please, help!
1595
01:13:01,594 --> 01:13:02,639
What do you think?
1596
01:13:03,596 --> 01:13:05,076
I think Drake lost to Kendrick.
1597
01:13:05,250 --> 01:13:08,253
I still like Drake, but
what was up with that lawsuit?
1598
01:13:08,427 --> 01:13:10,081
That’s such a bitch-ass move.
1599
01:13:10,255 --> 01:13:12,518
About this situation.
1600
01:13:12,692 --> 01:13:14,390
Oh, that?
That’s definitely a trap.
1601
01:13:14,564 --> 01:13:16,261
She don’t know
we already been here, done that.
1602
01:13:17,654 --> 01:13:19,525
Brenda!
1603
01:13:19,699 --> 01:13:20,744
Brenda!
1604
01:13:20,918 --> 01:13:23,311
Cindy! It hurts!
1605
01:13:24,356 --> 01:13:26,663
Am I gonna make it?
I doubt it.
1606
01:13:26,837 --> 01:13:29,535
Oh, God, Cindy. Oh, God.
1607
01:13:29,709 --> 01:13:31,668
Bitch, I’m not dead yet!
1608
01:13:31,842 --> 01:13:34,018
Oh. My bad. I’m sorry.
1609
01:13:34,192 --> 01:13:37,891
Now you go back in there
and finish it.
1610
01:13:38,065 --> 01:13:39,197
For me, Cindy.
1611
01:13:39,371 --> 01:13:41,678
I would do anything for you,
Brenda.
1612
01:13:46,334 --> 01:13:49,120
Oh, yes! She bought it.
1613
01:13:49,294 --> 01:13:51,905
That old ketchup trick,
it don’t fail.
1614
01:13:52,079 --> 01:13:53,341
That bitch is crazy
if she thought
1615
01:13:53,516 --> 01:13:55,735
I was taking my Black ass
back in there.
1616
01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:00,740
Attention all killers!
1617
01:14:01,828 --> 01:14:05,049
You have five seconds
to show yourselves.
1618
01:14:17,409 --> 01:14:18,192
Shorty!
1619
01:14:18,366 --> 01:14:19,846
Bitch!
1620
01:14:20,020 --> 01:14:22,066
You shot my favorite bong.
1621
01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:24,329
Go find your own damn closet!
1622
01:14:24,503 --> 01:14:25,591
Sorry.
1623
01:14:34,948 --> 01:14:36,776
Hello, Cindy.
1624
01:14:37,603 --> 01:14:38,822
Hello.
1625
01:14:38,996 --> 01:14:40,214
Looks like you forgot
1626
01:14:40,388 --> 01:14:42,913
the first rule
of surviving a horror movie.
1627
01:14:43,087 --> 01:14:45,611
Never answer the phone!
1628
01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:50,181
I thought the first rule was
never trust the love interest.
1629
01:14:51,530 --> 01:14:52,923
Oh, really?
1630
01:14:53,097 --> 01:14:55,055
Well, I’m changing the rules.
How about that?
1631
01:14:55,926 --> 01:14:59,146
New rule: Go fuck yourself.
1632
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:00,234
Wait, wait!
1633
01:15:01,975 --> 01:15:04,282
Why do you
hate closets so much?
1634
01:15:04,456 --> 01:15:05,979
I told you to come out.
1635
01:15:06,153 --> 01:15:08,025
Yeah, well,
I didn’t want to get shot!
1636
01:15:08,199 --> 01:15:09,679
Ironic, isn’t it?
1637
01:15:10,723 --> 01:15:12,682
You missed me, bitch.
1638
01:15:12,856 --> 01:15:14,553
Oh, God, it’s Ghostface!
1639
01:15:14,727 --> 01:15:15,685
Didn’t sound believable.
1640
01:15:17,730 --> 01:15:18,775
You think you’re John Wick,
1641
01:15:18,949 --> 01:15:20,167
acting like I killed your dog?
1642
01:15:25,564 --> 01:15:27,348
The dog is just a metaphor.
1643
01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:29,307
It was about losing his wife!
1644
01:15:29,481 --> 01:15:31,352
You sure it’s not
an allegory?
1645
01:15:42,407 --> 01:15:43,713
Let us begin.
1646
01:15:52,983 --> 01:15:54,332
Oh.
1647
01:16:04,821 --> 01:16:06,997
Oh, that stunt girl is good.
1648
01:16:23,970 --> 01:16:24,754
Whoa.
1649
01:16:29,541 --> 01:16:31,499
Oh, oh--
1650
01:16:47,167 --> 01:16:48,473
Eat a dick.
1651
01:16:59,005 --> 01:17:01,007
Shoot him, Sara. End this.
1652
01:17:01,181 --> 01:17:02,835
Don’t tell me what to do!
1653
01:17:03,009 --> 01:17:04,532
This isn’t the best time
1654
01:17:04,707 --> 01:17:06,839
to resolve our
mommy-daughter issues,
1655
01:17:07,013 --> 01:17:11,365
but Sara, I am so sorry.
I have been a terrible mother.
1656
01:17:11,539 --> 01:17:13,846
I don’t even know
your sister Wednesday--
1657
01:17:14,020 --> 01:17:15,239
Oh, Tuesday.
1658
01:17:15,413 --> 01:17:18,372
Have to clarify that
for legal reasons.
1659
01:17:18,546 --> 01:17:19,722
But I’ve prepared you for this.
1660
01:17:20,505 --> 01:17:21,941
So go on, baby.
1661
01:17:22,115 --> 01:17:23,726
You kill him.
1662
01:17:23,900 --> 01:17:25,205
Sara?
Jack!
1663
01:17:25,379 --> 01:17:26,642
Sara!
Jack!
1664
01:17:26,816 --> 01:17:28,208
Sara!
Oh, Jack!
1665
01:17:28,382 --> 01:17:29,296
Sara!
Jack!
1666
01:17:29,470 --> 01:17:30,297
Sara!
Jack!
1667
01:17:30,471 --> 01:17:31,429
Sara!
Jack!
1668
01:17:31,603 --> 01:17:32,473
Thank God you’re okay.
1669
01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:33,561
Because I really wanted to be
1670
01:17:33,736 --> 01:17:34,650
the one to kill you!
1671
01:17:34,824 --> 01:17:36,260
Ooh, take it, baby.
1672
01:17:37,827 --> 01:17:40,307
See,
I told you it was about me.
1673
01:17:40,481 --> 01:17:42,222
No, Sara.
1674
01:17:43,659 --> 01:17:45,225
You were just the bait.
1675
01:17:45,791 --> 01:17:47,140
It’s about her.
1676
01:17:47,837 --> 01:17:48,881
Fuck!
Aw.
1677
01:17:49,055 --> 01:17:51,318
Sorry, honey.
I hate being right.
1678
01:17:51,492 --> 01:17:53,451
You should’ve
listened to Doofy.
1679
01:17:53,625 --> 01:17:55,714
The love interest.
1680
01:17:55,888 --> 01:17:58,151
It just seemed too obvious,
you know?
1681
01:17:58,325 --> 01:18:00,806
Which makes you think
it is not obvious.
1682
01:18:00,980 --> 01:18:01,720
Same page, honeybunch.
1683
01:18:01,894 --> 01:18:02,852
Right.
1684
01:18:03,026 --> 01:18:04,636
Yeah, well, that’s the twist!
1685
01:18:04,810 --> 01:18:06,159
Now get in the kitchen. Go!
1686
01:18:06,333 --> 01:18:07,639
Hey! Move!
1687
01:18:07,813 --> 01:18:10,163
Okay, listen up!
1688
01:18:10,337 --> 01:18:13,384
See, there hasn’t been
a great Horror Movie
1689
01:18:13,558 --> 01:18:15,342
since the first one.
1690
01:18:15,516 --> 01:18:18,650
We’re gonna save the franchise.
Go get our special guest star.
1691
01:18:20,783 --> 01:18:23,350
Hollywood is out of ideas!
1692
01:18:23,524 --> 01:18:26,049
Why else would there be
a Scary Movie 6?
1693
01:18:26,223 --> 01:18:28,616
But it wouldn’t work with just
the new characters, would it?
1694
01:18:28,791 --> 01:18:31,228
We need the legacy characters.
Oh--
1695
01:18:31,402 --> 01:18:32,969
And there wouldn’t be a Cindy
1696
01:18:33,143 --> 01:18:36,712
without her
sassy Black sidekick, Brenda.
1697
01:18:36,886 --> 01:18:39,976
You ain’t have to say "Black"
with no hard "b" like that.
1698
01:18:40,150 --> 01:18:42,500
Brenda! Didn’t you get shot?
1699
01:18:43,283 --> 01:18:44,807
Did I?
1700
01:18:44,981 --> 01:18:48,549
Oh! Wait, I did!
Ooh, look, God done healed me!
1701
01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:50,290
Ooh, what He do?
1702
01:18:50,464 --> 01:18:51,683
Stop dancing!
All the time!
1703
01:18:51,857 --> 01:18:53,163
Stop dancing!
Everybody stop dancing!
1704
01:18:53,337 --> 01:18:54,251
All the time!
1705
01:18:54,425 --> 01:18:55,382
Oh!
1706
01:18:55,556 --> 01:18:57,994
Oh.
Mom! No!
1707
01:18:58,168 --> 01:19:00,474
You called me "Mom".
1708
01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:03,303
You care about me.
1709
01:19:03,477 --> 01:19:05,566
Well, I wouldn’t go that far,
but, I mean,
1710
01:19:05,741 --> 01:19:06,480
sure.
Go--
1711
01:19:06,654 --> 01:19:07,568
Go get Tuesday.
1712
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,266
Okay, ladies,
1713
01:19:09,440 --> 01:19:11,572
time to stage the bodies.
1714
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:14,010
Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.
Oh!
1715
01:19:14,184 --> 01:19:15,925
Please don’t do this!
1716
01:19:16,099 --> 01:19:17,448
What? Who are you people?
1717
01:19:17,622 --> 01:19:18,754
We’re the motherfuckers
1718
01:19:18,928 --> 01:19:21,278
that are taking over
this franchise.
1719
01:19:21,452 --> 01:19:22,322
Oh, yeah? You are?
1720
01:19:22,496 --> 01:19:24,629
Okay! Oh, my God.
1721
01:19:24,803 --> 01:19:27,153
That was not part of the plan.
1722
01:19:27,327 --> 01:19:29,460
Oh, God. Shit.
1723
01:19:29,634 --> 01:19:31,636
Oh.
Neither was this.
1724
01:19:35,205 --> 01:19:36,554
Wait, Ray got one of those!
1725
01:19:36,728 --> 01:19:38,904
Whoa! Hot damn!
1726
01:19:39,078 --> 01:19:42,255
Anthony Anderson!
1727
01:19:42,429 --> 01:19:43,779
Yeah.
1728
01:19:43,953 --> 01:19:46,303
And I brought my boy
Kevin Hart with me.
1729
01:19:53,527 --> 01:19:55,268
What?
Shaq?
1730
01:19:55,442 --> 01:19:58,010
That’s right. On my knees
I’m the same height as Kevin.
1731
01:19:58,184 --> 01:19:59,403
And Kevin said no.
1732
01:19:59,577 --> 01:20:00,926
Kevin Hart said no?
1733
01:20:01,100 --> 01:20:02,754
That little motherfucker
says yes to everything.
1734
01:20:02,928 --> 01:20:03,842
Yeah, he does.
1735
01:20:04,016 --> 01:20:05,452
But wait!
1736
01:20:05,626 --> 01:20:07,977
There’s more.
1737
01:20:08,151 --> 01:20:10,109
Ta-dah...
1738
01:20:10,283 --> 01:20:11,328
bitches!
1739
01:20:11,502 --> 01:20:13,069
Ray? Shorty?
1740
01:20:13,243 --> 01:20:14,810
Yeah, that’s right.
1741
01:20:14,984 --> 01:20:18,030
Four Black killers.Yeah.
1742
01:20:18,204 --> 01:20:19,423
We’re making history.
1743
01:20:19,597 --> 01:20:22,556
This a new definition
of Black excellence.
1744
01:20:23,383 --> 01:20:24,776
But why would you do this?
1745
01:20:24,950 --> 01:20:26,473
Question is:
1746
01:20:26,647 --> 01:20:28,388
Why would you try to make
a sequel without us, huh?
1747
01:20:28,562 --> 01:20:29,955
Yeah!
1748
01:20:30,129 --> 01:20:31,739
When the studio wanted
to replace these brothers,
1749
01:20:31,914 --> 01:20:33,872
I was there.
1750
01:20:34,046 --> 01:20:35,874
That’s facts.
What about me?
1751
01:20:36,048 --> 01:20:36,875
What about you?
1752
01:20:37,049 --> 01:20:38,094
You were in one scene
1753
01:20:38,268 --> 01:20:39,878
in Part 4.
Oh!
1754
01:20:40,052 --> 01:20:40,879
Yes, but I made
that motherfucker
1755
01:20:41,053 --> 01:20:42,489
Dr. Phil cut his foot off.
1756
01:20:42,663 --> 01:20:44,317
And he crazy now.
Yeah, he got weird.
1757
01:20:44,491 --> 01:20:45,536
Mm.
But you--
1758
01:20:45,710 --> 01:20:47,059
Y-You see
what they trying to do?
1759
01:20:47,233 --> 01:20:48,974
They trying to pit us all up
against each other.
1760
01:20:49,148 --> 01:20:51,672
They trying to start Black
on-- on very Black crime.
1761
01:20:51,847 --> 01:20:53,022
Oh.
That’s right!
1762
01:20:53,196 --> 01:20:55,894
Yo, Shaq.
Hey. I’m proud of you, bro.
1763
01:20:56,068 --> 01:20:58,418
You’ve had an amazing career
as a sports commentator
1764
01:20:58,592 --> 01:21:00,290
since retiring
from basketball. Mm-hmm.
1765
01:21:00,464 --> 01:21:03,989
And I love The Big Podcast.
Nigga, I love that shit!
1766
01:21:04,163 --> 01:21:06,122
Even though I don’t understand
a word you be saying.
1767
01:21:06,296 --> 01:21:07,297
You be on that show
talkin’ ’bout--
1768
01:21:11,083 --> 01:21:11,823
"Kobe."
1769
01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:13,216
Enough.
1770
01:21:13,390 --> 01:21:16,915
But my point is, nigga,
I love your shit.
1771
01:21:17,873 --> 01:21:19,962
But I never got over Kazaam.
1772
01:21:20,136 --> 01:21:21,354
Fuck all that shit!
1773
01:21:21,528 --> 01:21:23,008
Kick his ass!
1774
01:21:23,182 --> 01:21:25,619
Get your big ass over here!
I hated that movie, too!
1775
01:21:25,793 --> 01:21:27,012
Why did you leave the Lakers?
1776
01:21:27,186 --> 01:21:29,841
You and Kobe
would’ve had nine rings!
1777
01:21:30,015 --> 01:21:31,321
That motherfucker traded me!
1778
01:21:31,495 --> 01:21:32,670
Sha-kweel!
1779
01:21:32,844 --> 01:21:35,281
How big is your foot?
1780
01:21:35,455 --> 01:21:36,587
22.
1781
01:21:36,761 --> 01:21:39,111
Then how big is your dick?
1782
01:21:39,285 --> 01:21:40,417
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ray!
1783
01:21:40,591 --> 01:21:42,027
Pause.
What the fuck
1784
01:21:42,201 --> 01:21:43,507
you talking about?
I’m doing it for the culture.
1785
01:21:43,681 --> 01:21:45,074
What culture?
1786
01:21:45,248 --> 01:21:47,119
The Culture Club. Nigga!
Bro.
1787
01:21:47,293 --> 01:21:48,381
Come on, Ray,
we killing people.
1788
01:21:48,555 --> 01:21:49,469
Stay focused.
All right, all right.
1789
01:21:49,643 --> 01:21:51,558
All right. We back.
1790
01:21:51,732 --> 01:21:54,518
Hey, Ant, don’t, don’t you--
don’t you worry. We family.
1791
01:21:54,692 --> 01:21:56,607
Ant, mad respect, y’all.
1792
01:21:56,781 --> 01:21:58,696
Hey, Black-ishnominated
1793
01:21:58,870 --> 01:21:59,827
for eight Emmys!
1794
01:22:00,002 --> 01:22:01,133
My nigga!
1795
01:22:01,307 --> 01:22:02,439
Well, actually,
1796
01:22:02,613 --> 01:22:04,180
the show was only nominated
for five.
1797
01:22:04,354 --> 01:22:06,051
I was nominated for eight.
1798
01:22:06,225 --> 01:22:07,183
Ooh.
Wow.
1799
01:22:07,357 --> 01:22:08,140
Oh, thank you.
1800
01:22:08,314 --> 01:22:09,315
A thespian!
1801
01:22:09,489 --> 01:22:12,014
Is that so? Eight nominations.
1802
01:22:12,188 --> 01:22:14,190
Crazy! Yeah, man.
1803
01:22:16,235 --> 01:22:18,324
But you never won.
What?
1804
01:22:20,065 --> 01:22:21,327
Et tu, Brute?
1805
01:22:21,501 --> 01:22:23,286
Don’t speak Spanish to me,
motherfucker.
1806
01:22:23,460 --> 01:22:26,332
This is for doing
Scary Movie 3and 4!
1807
01:22:26,506 --> 01:22:28,552
I didn’t know
they fired the family!
1808
01:22:28,726 --> 01:22:30,336
And this is for copying
1809
01:22:30,510 --> 01:22:33,296
our Good Timesepisode
on Black-ish!
1810
01:22:33,470 --> 01:22:35,951
But you guys were on The WB!
1811
01:22:36,125 --> 01:22:38,605
Nobody saw that shit!
1812
01:22:40,564 --> 01:22:42,087
Ooh.
No, no, no.
1813
01:22:42,261 --> 01:22:44,263
And you, and you--
1814
01:22:44,437 --> 01:22:47,353
Y’all went and did
Scary Movie 3and 4without us!
1815
01:22:47,527 --> 01:22:50,052
Nigga, I’m sorry.
They offered me so much money!
1816
01:22:50,226 --> 01:22:53,751
I-I got a new house, a new car.
I got wigs that don’t itch.
1817
01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:56,232
And what about you?
1818
01:22:57,363 --> 01:22:59,452
Well, I had a chance
to work with
1819
01:22:59,626 --> 01:23:01,933
the incomparable Charlie Sheen.
1820
01:23:03,630 --> 01:23:05,241
That’s good. He’s a legend.
1821
01:23:05,415 --> 01:23:07,591
And his dick game’s crazy.
1822
01:23:07,765 --> 01:23:09,810
You know he slept with
47,000 women?
1823
01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:11,987
And a thousand of them women
were dudes.
1824
01:23:12,161 --> 01:23:13,858
Lucky guy.
1825
01:23:14,815 --> 01:23:17,209
Wait,
so y’all gonna kill us now?
1826
01:23:18,950 --> 01:23:20,691
Nah.
1827
01:23:20,865 --> 01:23:23,476
What would Halloweenbe
without Jamie Lee Curtis?
1828
01:23:23,650 --> 01:23:25,304
Or Screambe
without Neve Campbell?
1829
01:23:25,478 --> 01:23:26,871
That would be Scream VI.
1830
01:23:27,045 --> 01:23:29,439
How did you guys
pull all of this off?
1831
01:23:29,613 --> 01:23:30,918
Cindy!
1832
01:23:31,093 --> 01:23:33,834
You know how many Wayanses
there are?
1833
01:23:34,009 --> 01:23:35,967
Nigga, billions!
Billions!
1834
01:23:36,141 --> 01:23:39,405
I’m just so happy that
the old gang is back together.
1835
01:23:40,189 --> 01:23:41,973
Okay, in the middle, on three:
1836
01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:43,409
Core Four.
1837
01:23:43,583 --> 01:23:45,237
What?
Nah, nah. We-- That--
1838
01:23:45,411 --> 01:23:46,586
That-- That’s corny shit.
That’s wack.
1839
01:23:46,760 --> 01:23:48,153
Ooh, uh, w-what about--
1840
01:23:48,327 --> 01:23:50,764
What about,
The Young and The Restless?
1841
01:23:50,938 --> 01:23:52,853
Yeah, or The-- or The Old
1842
01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:54,159
and then The Beautiful.
1843
01:23:54,333 --> 01:23:56,248
Or-- or The--
The Cute and The Crusty.
1844
01:23:56,422 --> 01:23:59,121
Yeah, or The Sexy
and then The Senile.
1845
01:24:05,431 --> 01:24:07,303
But we were brought in
to take over the franchise!
1846
01:24:07,477 --> 01:24:08,521
That’s right. I mean,
1847
01:24:08,695 --> 01:24:10,741
you guys are, like,
70 years old!
1848
01:24:10,915 --> 01:24:12,482
Not in my mouth!
1849
01:24:12,656 --> 01:24:13,700
Aw, fuck!
1850
01:24:15,224 --> 01:24:17,400
I just dragged that one
from the subway.
1851
01:24:17,574 --> 01:24:19,793
Oh, my back hurts.
1852
01:24:19,967 --> 01:24:22,709
Guys, guys!
They’re already dead.
1853
01:24:22,883 --> 01:24:25,103
Nah! Little fuckers
always come back.
1854
01:24:25,277 --> 01:24:27,062
Oh, no. Not this time.
1855
01:24:27,236 --> 01:24:29,455
Exactly. Come on,
Ray, let’s go. Let’s go.
1856
01:24:29,629 --> 01:24:31,066
Who got a match?
1857
01:24:31,240 --> 01:24:35,287
Got one, got one!
Next generation, my ass!
1858
01:24:35,461 --> 01:24:36,854
Yeah, whoo!
1859
01:24:41,250 --> 01:24:42,338
Sara, tell me what do to.
1860
01:24:42,512 --> 01:24:44,470
Blow, bitch, blow!
1861
01:24:52,522 --> 01:24:53,523
Yeah.
1862
01:24:55,742 --> 01:24:58,005
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Should we feel bad?
1863
01:24:58,180 --> 01:24:59,616
I mean, those are our kids.
1864
01:24:59,790 --> 01:25:01,400
Fuck those kids!
Yeah!
1865
01:25:01,574 --> 01:25:03,533
This is our franchise.
Yeah!
1866
01:25:03,707 --> 01:25:06,318
Besides, we can do all these
dramatic walkaways
1867
01:25:06,492 --> 01:25:07,798
with the fire in back of us.
1868
01:25:07,972 --> 01:25:09,626
But, damn, it’s hot.
1869
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:12,411
I don’t know.
I kind of like it.
1870
01:25:13,369 --> 01:25:15,066
You do, Ray?
We should play firemen.
1871
01:25:15,240 --> 01:25:17,199
You wanna dress up
like a fireman?
1872
01:25:17,373 --> 01:25:19,114
No. I want you to dress up
like a fireman.
1873
01:25:19,288 --> 01:25:21,681
Y’all feel a draft?
1874
01:25:21,855 --> 01:25:23,553
"
BY CHRIS PATRICK PLAYS] ♪ Bigger than ever♪
1875
01:25:23,727 --> 01:25:24,510
♪ We back
Woo♪
1876
01:25:24,684 --> 01:25:26,251
♪ Okay, okay♪
1877
01:25:26,425 --> 01:25:27,731
♪ We back
We back♪
1878
01:25:27,905 --> 01:25:29,167
♪ Okay, okay♪
1879
01:25:29,341 --> 01:25:30,734
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
1880
01:25:30,908 --> 01:25:32,431
♪ Wait on it
Put in pain for it♪
1881
01:25:32,605 --> 01:25:34,129
♪ Every day
A day to train for it♪
1882
01:25:34,303 --> 01:25:35,913
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
1883
01:25:36,087 --> 01:25:37,306
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
1884
01:25:39,482 --> 01:25:40,874
♪ Uh-huh♪
1885
01:25:41,048 --> 01:25:42,615
♪ We back
We back♪
1886
01:25:42,789 --> 01:25:44,313
♪ Back like respawn♪
♪ Respawn♪
1887
01:25:44,487 --> 01:25:45,966
♪ Back like
Reversin’ out the whip♪
1888
01:25:46,141 --> 01:25:47,751
♪ Forward drive♪
♪ Drive♪
1889
01:25:47,925 --> 01:25:49,144
♪ Back like I’m Marty♪
♪ Marty♪
1890
01:25:49,318 --> 01:25:50,406
♪ Back like McFly♪
1891
01:25:50,580 --> 01:25:52,147
♪ Double back for dinero♪
1892
01:25:52,321 --> 01:25:53,887
♪ ’Cause it’s back
Like I slide♪
1893
01:25:54,061 --> 01:25:55,498
♪ We outside♪
1894
01:25:55,672 --> 01:25:57,761
♪ We ain’t never really left♪
1895
01:25:57,935 --> 01:25:59,023
♪ Write ambidextrous♪
1896
01:25:59,197 --> 01:26:00,677
♪ Both hands need a check♪
1897
01:26:00,851 --> 01:26:02,461
♪ Whole fam need respect♪
1898
01:26:02,635 --> 01:26:04,550
♪ More bands, nothing less♪
1899
01:26:04,724 --> 01:26:07,727
♪ Tax season ’cause I got
The plan to collect♪
1900
01:26:09,381 --> 01:26:10,774
♪ Uh♪
1901
01:26:10,948 --> 01:26:12,210
♪ Look at me now♪
♪ Now♪
1902
01:26:12,384 --> 01:26:13,951
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
1903
01:26:14,125 --> 01:26:15,909
♪ My foot on the pedal
My eyes on the crown♪
1904
01:26:16,083 --> 01:26:17,520
♪ Uh♪
1905
01:26:17,694 --> 01:26:18,912
♪ Look at me now♪
♪ Now♪
1906
01:26:19,086 --> 01:26:20,479
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
1907
01:26:20,653 --> 01:26:21,872
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
1908
01:26:22,916 --> 01:26:24,527
♪ Okay, okay♪
1909
01:26:24,701 --> 01:26:26,268
♪ We back♪
1910
01:26:26,442 --> 01:26:27,965
♪ Okay, okay♪
♪ Bigger than ever♪
1911
01:26:28,139 --> 01:26:29,488
♪ We back♪
1912
01:26:29,662 --> 01:26:31,098
♪ Wait on it
Put in pain for it♪
1913
01:26:31,273 --> 01:26:32,491
♪ Every day
A day to train for it♪
1914
01:26:32,665 --> 01:26:34,145
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
1915
01:26:34,319 --> 01:26:35,712
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
1916
01:26:36,887 --> 01:26:38,018
♪ Mm♪
1917
01:26:38,193 --> 01:26:39,846
♪ Look at me now♪
1918
01:26:40,020 --> 01:26:41,500
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
1919
01:26:41,674 --> 01:26:42,980
♪ Look at me now♪
1920
01:26:43,154 --> 01:26:44,547
♪ My foot on the pedal♪
1921
01:26:44,721 --> 01:26:46,592
♪ My eyes on the crown♪
1922
01:26:46,766 --> 01:26:48,203
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
1923
01:26:48,377 --> 01:26:49,552
♪ Look at me now♪
1924
01:26:49,726 --> 01:26:51,336
♪ Whoo, look at me now♪
1925
01:26:51,510 --> 01:26:53,033
♪ Whoo, look at me now♪
1926
01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:54,513
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
1927
01:26:58,387 --> 01:27:00,606
♪ Bigger than ever
We back, whoo♪
1928
01:27:00,780 --> 01:27:02,347
♪ Okay, okay♪
1929
01:27:02,521 --> 01:27:03,957
♪ We back♪
1930
01:27:04,131 --> 01:27:05,437
♪ Okay, okay♪
1931
01:27:05,611 --> 01:27:06,917
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
1932
01:27:07,091 --> 01:27:08,527
♪ Wait on it
Put in pain for it♪
1933
01:27:08,701 --> 01:27:10,268
♪ Every day
A day to train for it♪
1934
01:27:10,442 --> 01:27:11,748
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
1935
01:27:11,922 --> 01:27:13,663
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
1936
01:27:13,837 --> 01:27:16,013
♪ Hey, hey, hey♪
1937
01:27:16,187 --> 01:27:17,057
♪ We back♪
1938
01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:19,408
♪ Hey, hey, hey♪
1939
01:27:19,582 --> 01:27:20,452
♪ We back♪
1940
01:27:20,626 --> 01:27:22,715
♪ Hey, hey, hey♪
1941
01:27:22,889 --> 01:27:24,151
♪ We back♪
1942
01:27:24,326 --> 01:27:25,718
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
1943
01:27:25,892 --> 01:27:27,154
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
1944
01:27:35,119 --> 01:27:37,339
Coming soon
to a theater near you...
1945
01:27:37,513 --> 01:27:39,166
Come to me...
1946
01:27:39,341 --> 01:27:40,603
Count Brolock.
1947
01:27:41,734 --> 01:27:43,127
From the studio
that brought you
1948
01:27:43,301 --> 01:27:45,956
every Black version
of a white movie...
1949
01:27:48,480 --> 01:27:52,136
I am but an appetite,
nothing more.
1950
01:27:52,310 --> 01:27:54,356
That’s not what you said
last night
1951
01:27:54,530 --> 01:27:56,053
when you were
sucking on my chest.
1952
01:27:58,490 --> 01:27:59,926
The sisters may hear you.
1953
01:28:00,100 --> 01:28:01,754
Too late.
1954
01:28:01,928 --> 01:28:03,016
You trifling sellout.
1955
01:28:03,190 --> 01:28:04,714
I don’t know this bitch!
1956
01:28:04,888 --> 01:28:06,281
She’s trying to get me!
This is entrapment!
1957
01:28:06,455 --> 01:28:08,674
Negro ain’t shit.
Mm-hmm.
1958
01:28:08,848 --> 01:28:11,460
Behold the Black vampire.
1959
01:28:12,156 --> 01:28:14,027
Brosferatu.
1960
01:28:15,115 --> 01:28:17,030
Coming this Kwanzaa.
1961
01:29:31,278 --> 01:29:35,065
Cuckoo. Cuckoo.
1962
01:29:35,239 --> 01:29:39,243
Happy Birthday, A.S. Berger.
1963
01:29:39,417 --> 01:29:41,724
Something isn’t right here.
Happy birthday...
1964
01:29:41,898 --> 01:29:43,508
He’s definitely Ghostface.
1965
01:29:44,248 --> 01:29:45,162
Sit.
1966
01:29:46,250 --> 01:29:47,817
I agree, Berger.
1967
01:29:47,991 --> 01:29:50,123
That hand should spend
the rest of its life in prison.
1968
01:29:50,297 --> 01:29:52,212
That little hand, man. I mean--
1969
01:29:52,387 --> 01:29:55,868
Respectfully, that thing would
probably give a nice handjob.
1970
01:29:56,042 --> 01:29:58,175
Off the chain, guaranteed.
1971
01:29:58,349 --> 01:29:59,437
Tight grip.
1972
01:29:59,611 --> 01:30:00,786
Make your meat
look two times bigger.
1973
01:30:00,960 --> 01:30:02,048
Yeah.
1974
01:30:02,222 --> 01:30:03,485
I don’t want
a handjob from him.
1975
01:30:03,659 --> 01:30:04,877
Let me tell you that,
first and foremost.
1976
01:30:05,051 --> 01:30:07,053
I do not want a handjob.
Me neither.
1977
01:30:07,227 --> 01:30:09,795
However, when you look at it,
like a shotgun--
1978
01:30:09,969 --> 01:30:11,841
You’re done.
1979
01:30:13,451 --> 01:30:14,800
Now, listen,
we’re gonna hold him, okay?
1980
01:30:14,974 --> 01:30:16,454
Okay.It might be a day,
1981
01:30:16,628 --> 01:30:17,803
two weeks, I don’t know.
1982
01:30:17,977 --> 01:30:19,065
I don’t know how long
this movie is.
1983
01:30:19,239 --> 01:30:21,241
Like a Chris Nolan movie
with farts.
1984
01:30:21,416 --> 01:30:23,635
But what I want you to do
is go in there
1985
01:30:23,809 --> 01:30:25,768
and show him what you got.
1986
01:30:25,942 --> 01:30:26,986
Cock it and rock it.
1987
01:30:30,816 --> 01:30:31,817
Ah.
1988
01:30:33,558 --> 01:30:35,908
Oh!
1989
01:30:36,779 --> 01:30:38,476
There she is.
1990
01:30:38,650 --> 01:30:40,739
The birthday girl.
1991
01:30:44,003 --> 01:30:45,091
I brought a cake.
1992
01:30:46,528 --> 01:30:47,703
Make a wish.
1993
01:30:49,487 --> 01:30:51,358
My germs!
1994
01:30:55,014 --> 01:30:58,148
Finger-licking good.
1995
01:30:58,322 --> 01:31:01,717
Agent Berger, I’m just trying
to give you my strong hand.
1996
01:31:01,891 --> 01:31:04,067
No!
But it’s a meme.
1997
01:31:04,241 --> 01:31:07,984
Mr. Shorthand,
are you Ghostface?
1998
01:31:08,158 --> 01:31:10,595
Here we go--
1999
01:31:11,466 --> 01:31:13,293
Whew, that stings.
It’s sort of--
2000
01:31:13,468 --> 01:31:14,294
Whoo.
2001
01:31:14,469 --> 01:31:16,035
Okay, that hurts.
Stop.
2002
01:31:16,209 --> 01:31:17,254
Can I talk to you
for a second?
2003
01:31:17,428 --> 01:31:19,038
Yeah, o-okay.
2004
01:31:20,997 --> 01:31:22,477
This table needs an airbag.
2005
01:31:22,651 --> 01:31:23,478
It should--
2006
01:31:23,652 --> 01:31:25,175
Goddamn!
2007
01:31:25,349 --> 01:31:26,568
Whoo!
2008
01:31:26,742 --> 01:31:28,091
I didn’t think it would
hurt so bad.
2009
01:31:28,265 --> 01:31:30,746
So we got the wrong guy.
Could have told you that.
2010
01:31:31,616 --> 01:31:33,096
Why?
’Cause I’m psychic.
2011
01:31:33,270 --> 01:31:35,098
Oh, yeah!
2012
01:31:35,272 --> 01:31:36,447
You know, it’s what--
2013
01:31:36,621 --> 01:31:37,883
Oh, shit!
2014
01:31:38,057 --> 01:31:39,450
Oh, God,
that’s how I feel.
2015
01:31:39,624 --> 01:31:40,886
Let me tell you some--
2016
01:31:41,713 --> 01:31:43,498
What do we do now?
2017
01:31:43,672 --> 01:31:45,282
Back out slowly.
2018
01:31:45,456 --> 01:31:47,066
Like my neighbor when
I caught him inside my wife.
2019
01:31:47,240 --> 01:31:48,720
Where are you guys going?
2020
01:31:48,894 --> 01:31:49,939
They’re still together?
2021
01:31:50,113 --> 01:31:51,549
Unfortunately.
2022
01:31:51,723 --> 01:31:52,898
Ow!
2023
01:31:53,072 --> 01:31:54,987
Sorry, man.
It’s okay.
2024
01:31:55,161 --> 01:31:56,380
We’re a throuple now.