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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[ELECTRICAL BUZZING]
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[PHONE RINGING]
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Fuego del Culo.
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Girl, if it itches, it’s crabs.
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["SHAPESHIFT"
BY HAVEMORALS PLAYS]
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♪ I switched the game
No time for playing♪
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♪ I’m redefined♪
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♪ Now I’ma transform♪
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♪ Right in front
Of all your eyes♪
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♪ I shapeshift♪
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Hey, girl.
You want some brown liquor?
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Brown liquor
don’t make this pussy pop.
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Tequila it is.
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Here you go.
Mm.
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¡Viva la revolución!
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Now, that shit right there make
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my pussy pop
on a handstand!
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So, what are you doing here
anyway?
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What do you think
I’m doing here?
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I’m starring
in the opening scene.
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Been there, done that.
[PHONE BUZZES]
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RINGTONE: Pick up the phone!
Pick up the pho--
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00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,012
Richie?
Teyana. Hi.
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I thought it’d be easier
for the audience
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if they didn’t have to read
more texts.
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Yeah, that makes sense.
’Cause you know these motherfuckers can’t read.
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I know who goes to see
a Wayans Brothers movie.
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RICHIE: Well, it’s nice
to phone-meet you
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in this super awkward way.
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Likewise.
But I got to be honest.
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When I seen your profile pic,
a bitch almost swiped left
34
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because you look mad goofy.
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But surprisingly,
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you know them goofy niggas
got big dicks, so here we are.
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00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:05,734
RICHIE:
I take you for a Jersey girl.
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A Jersey girl?
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Listen, I love Jersey down.
40
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But I’m a Harlem girl.
Born and motherfucking raised.
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Real niggas only. Yeah.
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RICHIE: Oh, so you’re Black.
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No, motherfucker!
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I’m BLACK!
[DINERS GASP]
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TEYANA: All caps.
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No cap, but caps.
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Fuck all y’all!
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Bitch,
spit them pearls back out.
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[WOMAN GAGS]
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I ain’t want your shit.
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Hello.
So tell me,
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what’s your favorite
scary movie?
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Mm... I don’t really do them,
you know.
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All the stupid tropes and shit.
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Why is it always
the white bitch at the end?
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Because they know
it is too hard to kill a sista.
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Y’know what I’m sayin’?
Cause if the sista can survive
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government cheese,
we can survive anything.
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[RICHIE CHUCKLES]
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RICHIE: You know, it might help
if you met me outside.
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Met you outside?
Boy, you is needy!
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What’s your sign?
You must be a Scorpio.
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RICHIE: How’d you know?
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Good dick though.
But toxic as hell.
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RICHIE: Hey, is the restaurant
near an alley?
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Yes, hurry
before they rob your ass.
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Roses?
Ah! Not today.
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Cheap bitch.
Heard you, ho.
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RICHIE: Okay, I’m--
I’m coming down the alley now.
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I’m here.
Can you see me? I’m waving.
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RICHIE: No.
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The person I’m looking at
is not waving.
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In fact,
they’re just staring at me.
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Well, stare at his ass back!
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And don’t blink. Never blink.
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You got to scrunch your lips
and be like, "What?"
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RICHIE: No, they’re walking
towards me now.
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Hold on.
Oh no, they have a knife!
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Well, don’t lead his ass
over here.
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RICHIE:
And that’s not the worst part.
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[BEEP, TONE]
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[VOICE DISTORTS] The worst part
is you know so much
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about horror movies
and yet you still
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walked into the alley alone.
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Yeah, well the worst part is,
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you fucking with
a New York bitch. Cuckoo!
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Yeah!
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[TEYANA WHOOPING]
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TEYANA:
Cuckoo, cuckoo!
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[GRUNTS]
TEYANA: Cuckoo!
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[GRUNTS]
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[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
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00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,465
GHOSTFACE: Damn!
She’s on some Avengers shit!
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[BELL DINGS]
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00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,258
[BELL DINGING]
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00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,042
[BELL DINGS]
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Seriously, Larry?
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00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,655
I ain’t recognize
your bird call.
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00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:26,701
Thought you was going
more with a-- [COOS]
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00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,269
That’s a pigeon, nigga!
Supposed to be, "Cuckoo!"
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Cuckoo!
A hawk swooping in an attack!
102
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My bad.
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00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:35,797
GHOSTFACE: Are you done?
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00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:38,539
What the hell?
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00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,845
[GROUP CHUCKLES]
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Bitch, I’m Teyana Taylor.
My abs got abs.
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Get him!
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GHOSTFACE: Ow! My arm! My arm!
[GLASS SHATTERS]
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Get in there!
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GHOSTFACE: Come on, guys,
we can work this out.
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[MEN JEERING]
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[GRUNTS]
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[GRUNTING]
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GHOSTFACE:
Somebody help me!
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MAN: Do it, Larry!
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GHOSTFACE: No, no, no--
[GRUNTS]
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00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,302
MAN 2: Hi-yah!
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00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,216
GHOSTFACE: Ow! Oh, God!
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00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:05,914
All right, all right,
all right, all right!
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00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,916
We out.
Get your hardheaded ass on.
121
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,832
Welcome to New York, sucker!
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00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:12,224
GHOSTFACE: Hey, Teyana.
123
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:13,791
You might have kicked my ass,
124
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:16,620
but you still didn’t win
that Oscar.
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What you say about my Oscar?
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GHOSTFACE:
Did I stutter? You lost!
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You right.
128
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:24,933
But I won
that Golden Globe, bitch.
129
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,588
GIRL:
Oh, my God! Really?
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That’s why I never watched
Horror Movie.
131
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It’s fucking terrible.
132
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:33,158
Just a bunch
of celebrity cameos and fart gags.
133
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[SIGHS]
134
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:36,031
GIRL ON PHONE:
So, you don’t like parodies?
135
00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,902
I’m more into
Judd Apatow films.
136
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,601
You know, elevated comedy.
137
00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,864
GIRL:
And what is elevated comedy?
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00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,474
Mm.
[INHALER CLATTERS]
139
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:45,736
The kind that doesn’t actually
make anyone laugh,
140
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but makes white people
feel smart.
141
00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:48,435
[DOORBELL RINGS]
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GIRL: Tuesday,
don’t answer that!
143
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,526
It could be Ghostface.
144
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,310
Oh, come on, Elle!
145
00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:56,356
Stuff like that
only happens in the movies.
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00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,534
GHOSTFACE: Oh, hey.
147
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,927
I wasn’t expecting you
to answer the door.
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00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:06,061
What the fuck?
Now where is my knife?
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Ah, here it is.
150
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,761
Hello, Tuesday.
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00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:13,024
[SCREAMS]
152
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:16,288
["MESSY" BY REDD. PLAYS]
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♪ I really wanna get messy♪
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00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,470
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
155
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,950
♪ Don’t care what I’m doing
Next week♪
156
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,997
♪ You really don’t wanna
Test me♪
157
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:31,652
♪ Just pass the drinks
And get sexy♪
158
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:34,437
♪ Get messy
Baby, get messy♪
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[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
Hey, miss.
160
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What’d you take?
161
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,749
Just Ritalin for my ADHD.
162
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,359
Adderall for PTSD.
163
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,579
A couple of Xanax
for my anxiety.
164
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And your boner pills.
[GIGGLES]
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00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:51,019
So good luck
getting it up now. [DENIM STRAINS]
166
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:53,804
JACK: Jesus, Sara,
how many did you take?
167
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,719
I don’t know.
How many come in a bottle?
168
00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:57,460
[PHONE RINGS]
169
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,157
Hey, Jess.
Sara,
170
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:00,724
Tuesday’s in the hospital.
171
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:04,075
She was stabbed. By a killer--
you know, Ghostface.
172
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:05,599
Wait. From Wu-Tang?
173
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,905
Why would Ghostface Killah
aka Pretty Toney
174
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:10,255
aka Starky Love
want to stab my sister?
175
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,519
JESS: God, Sara,
it wasn’t Ghostface Killah.
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00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:14,303
It was somebody
in a Ghostface mask.
177
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:15,522
Oh! [CHUCKLES]
178
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,480
Okay, that makes more sense.
179
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:20,048
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
180
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:21,049
[SARA GRUNTING]
181
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Hah!
182
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:25,401
I ain’t the one! [HOCKS]
183
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[GRUNTS]Oh!
184
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,099
Jesus, Jack!
185
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:29,666
What?
186
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,755
I was thinking about
wearing this for Halloween.
187
00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:33,409
My estranged
flat-chested half-sister
188
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:35,411
was nearly killed
by a psycho in a ghost mask.
189
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:36,891
[DISTANT SCREAMING]
190
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,763
I got to go see her
and make up for the past.
191
00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:41,591
Whoa-- Hey, hey, hey.
[GASPS]
192
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:42,984
I’m going with you.
193
00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:44,638
Not because
I’m the obvious killer
194
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,161
trying to lure you back
to your hometown.
195
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,902
I’m just
the supportive boyfriend.
196
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,294
Yeah.That’s all.
197
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,557
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
198
00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:52,384
Okay, let’s go. Get in the car.
199
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:55,475
SARA: Listen, we just have
to make one stop on the way.
200
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,347
I survived.
201
00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:00,392
All thanks to my lucky penny.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
202
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,003
["HOES" BY LIZZO PLAYS]
203
00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:04,135
♪ The world would be
Boring as fuck♪
204
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,311
♪ Without big booty
Real hoochie mamas like me♪
205
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,662
♪ Grabbing ankles
Throwing ass on ATVs♪
206
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,881
♪ Make ’em say "uh"
I got Master P♪
207
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:13,188
♪ Doggy-style, look here,
That’s masterpiece♪
208
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,103
♪ I don’t wanna be
In no sausage fest♪
209
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,627
♪ Where my ladies at?
Throw it east to west♪
210
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,629
♪ Wow, wow, wow, wow
I’m impressed♪
211
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:20,891
♪ Booty up down, up down...♪
212
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:23,067
[MUSIC CONTINUES, MUFFLED]
213
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:29,552
I hate when y’all leave!
Come give me a hug.
214
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:32,816
Ma, come on, turn off
this ratchet-ass music.
215
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:35,384
It’s embarrassing,
especially for Black women.
216
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:36,820
It’s not embarrassing.
217
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:38,605
I’m the cool ma everybody wish
they had.
218
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,084
I’m lit!
Don’t forget,
219
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,999
I got practice later
so I’ll be home late.
220
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,610
You only made the team
because you’re Black
221
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:45,699
and those racist fucks
assumed you could play.
222
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:47,918
Mm.
It’s 2026.
223
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:49,441
I don’t think race is an issue.
224
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:50,965
Do you read Black Twitter?
225
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:52,357
No.
226
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:53,924
Ugh, Brad,
227
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:55,752
are you still dating that ho?
228
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:56,753
GIRL: Okay.
229
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,320
Stop ho-shaming her, heiffa.
230
00:08:58,494 --> 00:08:59,974
[SCOFFS]
Just because Darrel and them
231
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,976
ran a train on her
doesn’t make her a ho.
232
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,848
She’s not a "ho",
she’s "sex positive".
233
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,894
Well, I’m positive she is a ho.
234
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:09,940
Hey, girl! Look at you!
235
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,507
Early for Halloween, huh?
236
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,422
What you this year?
Slutty schoolgirl?
237
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:14,379
Ho-ey ho?
238
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,468
Hi, Ms. Meeks.
239
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,340
Love the hair. Very...
240
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:19,994
Octavia Spencer.
241
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,256
Well, thank you very much.
242
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:22,823
I got to invite you over
243
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:25,303
and make you
a little shit pie. Ooh. [CHUCKLES]
244
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:28,176
You know what? I got to get to
African American History class.
245
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,438
We’re learning about slavery.
246
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,962
Come to find out,
it was a choice.
247
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,137
You see that right there?
248
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,792
That’s Kanye?
That’s right.
249
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:38,360
They’ve been teaching us
wrong all this time.
250
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:39,535
Mm-hmm. Stay Black!
251
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,494
Bye, Ma.
All right. Bye, baby.
252
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:43,757
Bye, Ms. Meeks.
Bye.
253
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,933
Son, I put some condoms
in your bag!
254
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,674
You know how they try
to trap y’all.
255
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:48,892
Ma!
256
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:53,070
Okay, seriously,
"Sheriff Greg",
257
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,898
you don’t have to walk me
to class. I’m fine.
258
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:57,858
Jess, there’s a serial killer
on the loose.
259
00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,512
I’m not gonna let anything
happen to my baby girl.
260
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,602
Boy! Okay? I’m a baby boy!
261
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,125
I’m sorry!
262
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,083
I’m having a
hard time with this transition.
263
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:09,478
Okay, it’s really simple.
Treat me like one of the guys.
264
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:10,871
Okay?
265
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,395
All right. I-I can do that.
Yeah.
266
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,745
Slap fight. [CHUCKLES]
[SCOFFS] Oh.
267
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:16,920
You call that a slap?
268
00:10:17,094 --> 00:10:18,269
[GROANS]
269
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:19,531
Whew.
270
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,142
What the hell
did you do that for?
271
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:24,145
Don’t act like such a bitch.
[GRUNTS]
272
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:25,842
[LAUGHS] Bitch.
273
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:28,279
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
274
00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:31,195
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, not bad.
275
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,547
JACK:
Who the hell lives like this?
276
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,475
Oh, honey,
it is so good to see you!
277
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,434
Come in! Do you want some tea?
278
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:55,306
Oh, my God, Mother.
You look like shit!
279
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,047
[SIGHS]
JACK: Babe, please.
280
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,658
This is clearly a woman
who’s run out of conditioner.
281
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,790
Oh, be careful where you walk.
The whole place
282
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:02,444
is booby-trapped.
283
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,620
You never know when
that psycho’s gonna come back.
284
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,491
[GROANS]
Come in.
285
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,797
Okay.
286
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:11,975
[SCREAMS]
287
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,806
[YELPS, GRUNTS]
288
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,504
[WEAKLY] I hate this job.
289
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,073
JACK: Mrs. Campbell,
290
00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:26,033
I’m Jack, Sara’s boyfriend.
291
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,948
I’ve heard so much about you...
292
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,253
Uh, none of it good.
293
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,561
I have heard nothing
about you, Jack.
294
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,432
I assume
you’re a piece of shit.
295
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:37,522
But how would I know when
I haven’t heard from my daughter
296
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,524
in, what, six months?
297
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,396
Six years, Mother.
298
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,311
And whose fault is that?
299
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,966
"And whose fault is that?"
I don’t know, maybe it’s yours!
300
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:47,968
That’s fair.
301
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:50,840
We want to learn
from the horror you survived.
302
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:51,841
Look...
303
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,800
Scary Movie 3and 4
304
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,627
paid me
a lot of money for a girl--
305
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,760
There is nothing
to learn there.
306
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:00,502
But if you want to talk
about The House Bunny,shoot.
307
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,286
It’s happening again!
308
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:05,725
Some asshole in a mask.
We have to stop him.
309
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:07,901
You’re not ready, lovebug.
310
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:11,208
I have been preparing
for this for years.
311
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:12,949
Sacrificed everything.
312
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:16,083
You were a terrible mother.
Come on, honey
313
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,998
we had some good times.
314
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:22,002
Like that Christmas I took you
to meet Santa at the mall.
315
00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:23,394
["JINGLE BELLS" PLAYS]
316
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:25,745
♪ Dashing through the snow♪
317
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:29,009
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh♪
318
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:31,315
♪ O’er the fields we go...♪
Your turn, Sara.
319
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:32,360
Move!
320
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,449
Hi, Santa.
321
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:37,757
Sorry if I don’t
sit in your lap.
322
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,410
You creep me out.
323
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:41,891
♪ How fun it is
To ride and sing...♪
324
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:47,941
SARA: Mom?
325
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,726
Santa gave me a severed arm!
326
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,641
Be sure to thank him.
327
00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:55,862
[CHILDREN CHEERING]
328
00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:58,734
[CHILDREN CLAMORING]
329
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,345
GIRL: Is that a foot?
330
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,086
Ew, that’s gross.
331
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:04,261
♪ One horse open...♪
332
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:05,567
What the fuck?
333
00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:07,699
[CHILDREN SCREAMING]
334
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,919
[SCREAMS FADING]
CINDY: I am sorry
335
00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:12,748
if that’s how you found out
Santa doesn’t exist.
336
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,924
Ugh, Mother, I need your help!
337
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:18,232
To heal our emotional wounds
and put the past behind us?
338
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,016
[SNORTS] Oh, God, no.
339
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,671
[CHUCKLES]
No, to kill Ghostface!
340
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,325
Do you have any guns?
341
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:25,587
[SCOFFS]
342
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:28,372
I am Cindy fucking Campbell.
343
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,113
I’ve got millions of guns!
344
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,158
But, um,
345
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,899
none of them are registered
346
00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:35,205
due to my mental health issues.
347
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:38,992
So, if you could just keep that
on the low-- [YELPS]
348
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,124
JACK: Okay.
CINDY: Oh!
349
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:42,691
Yeah, I’m gonna be fine.
350
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,388
I didn’t hurt myself
on any of these spikes.
351
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:45,433
["KISS OR KILL"
BY STELA COLE PLAYS]
352
00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:49,916
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G♪
353
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,614
♪ Me and you
We’re sitting in a tree♪
354
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,616
Oh, hey,
so I spoke to Sara earlier.
355
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,052
Oh, is she coming?
You know,
356
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,619
I did hear
a buzzing sound.
357
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,447
So it’s possible.
No.
358
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:02,319
I meant
to Woodsville, dumbass. Oh. Yeah, I forgot to ask.
359
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,017
Hey, Jimbo! Go deep!
360
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:04,974
Yeah, yeah!
Throw it, throw it!
361
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,933
Oh!
362
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:08,238
Sweet! [CHUCKLES]
363
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,371
Speaking of going deep...
364
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,416
Uh, I don’t know
if it’s a good time.
365
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,201
Everyone knows
what happens to teenagers
366
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:15,811
who try to make love when
there’s a killer on the loose.
367
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,508
Brad’s right
about one thing, guys.
368
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:20,076
Okay, Ghostface is back.
We need to arm up.
369
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,687
Pepper spray, check.
370
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,515
Taser, check.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
371
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,256
[POP]
Butt plug,
372
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,779
double check.
[SQUELCHES]
373
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,042
BRAD: Goddamn!
374
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,870
You just carry that thing
around?
375
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,523
It’s easy to hide.
376
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:38,094
In your butt.
[SIGHS]
377
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,227
I’m impressed.
378
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:52,979
What’s up, y’all? I’m back!
379
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:54,415
[GIGGLES]
380
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:55,590
Shit, son!
381
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:57,722
Hey, what’s up, Unc?
"Unc"?
382
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,377
I’m tired of you
little Gen Z Alpha niggas
383
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:02,597
using terms like "unc"
and "auntie".
384
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:05,165
Gaslighting and glazing
and glamping,
385
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,210
trying to make my generation
sound old.
386
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,864
I ain’t your damn unc, nigga!
387
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,214
Shorty, you’re our
mother’s brother, so, yeah,
388
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:12,955
technically, you are our uncle.
389
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,915
Oh. [GIGGLES]
My bad. [CACKLES]
390
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:18,439
Crazy that they let you
teach here.
391
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,876
Teach? Nah, nigga.
392
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,443
I attend.
393
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:25,968
You looking at a proud
25th-year senior. [GIGGLES]
394
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:27,535
When are you
finally gonna graduate?
395
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:28,971
By the time we do a sequel
396
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:29,929
and I got to follow
you little young niggas
397
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,060
to college to get my check.
398
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:32,932
Wait, guys. Tuesday’s awake!
399
00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:35,325
All right! Tuesday!
Who the fuck is Tuesday?
400
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:36,674
Hey, we gotta go
to the hospital.
401
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:39,242
You gonna take the bus home?
No. The PJ.
402
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:40,896
Private jet?
403
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,071
Yeah. Jealous?
404
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,638
Man, you smoke weed all day.
405
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,162
Just play video games,
you live-stream.
406
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:47,685
You literally got money
doing nothing.
407
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:50,993
Exactly. I leave the hard work
for the old heads.
408
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,603
[GIGGLES] Shit, son!
409
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:53,996
[GIGGLES]
410
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:56,259
Still the same Shorty.
Aight. [CHUCKLES]
411
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,044
Check my crypto, nigga.
[PHONE CHIMES]
412
00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,915
Aw, shit,
I’m up three million dollars!
413
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,699
[CACKLES]
[PHONE BLEEPS]
414
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,963
Damn,
now I’m down five million.
415
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,487
This shit crazy, son.
416
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,801
[ENGINE PUTTERING]
417
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:18,847
[ENGINE CUTS]
418
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:30,685
[MUFFLED SINGING AND CLAPPING]
419
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:33,340
♪ I’m gonna let it shine♪
420
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:37,518
♪ This little light of mine♪
421
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:41,130
♪ I’m gonna let it shine♪
422
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:42,175
Ray!
423
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:44,133
Sister Brenda, it’s okay.
424
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,483
You heard the call of sin,
yes, you did.
425
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:47,876
But the Lord has called on us
426
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,487
to show men
such like you the way.
427
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:53,447
Come on, son! Come with us.
428
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,057
Come on us.
429
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,973
God see you coming.
So don’t cheat that come.
430
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:02,108
We need you to come
like you never came before.
431
00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,110
Come for the Father,
come for the Son.
432
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:06,503
I’ma hold your hand
and we gonna come together.
433
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:09,115
PARISHONER: God is good, man!
PARISHONER 2: Yes, sir.
434
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:10,116
PARISHONER 3: Thank you, Jesus.
435
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,160
Amen.
436
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:12,118
PARISHONER 4: Hallelujah.
437
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:13,728
[WHISPERING] There you go.
438
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:18,863
In the name of God,
let it go, Ray! Let it go!
439
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:19,777
Nigga!
[POPS]
440
00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,953
Oh, my bad.
441
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,303
Last time.
442
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:24,521
[HUFFS]
443
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,175
[PASTOR CLEARS THROAT]
444
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:30,005
Let’s welcome a new member
to our congre-gay-tion.
445
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,528
[SCATTERED PRAISE]
Let the people know
446
00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,748
how you feel, brother.
There you go.
447
00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:36,055
[SCATTERED CHATTER]
448
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,624
I’m not gay no more.
449
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,627
[CHEERING]
Hallelujah!
450
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:44,628
PARISHONER 5: Yes, sir!
451
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,065
I’m not gay no more!
452
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,457
PARISHONER 6: Praise the lord!
453
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,024
I’m not gay no more!
454
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,504
He not gay no more.
455
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,941
RAY: I’ve been delivered!
456
00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:55,204
I’ll no longer date a mans!
457
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:56,597
Even if he’s sexy as hell
458
00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:59,165
with a big old chesteses
and perky areolas!
459
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:00,775
Oh, yeah,
you still got a secret.
460
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:04,431
I’ll no longer
carry a purse, put on makeup,
461
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:05,475
walk around in high heels.
462
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,042
What?
463
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,392
Red bottoms. The one with
the cute little buckle
464
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:11,133
on the side.
Those is my shoes.
465
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:15,006
I’ll no longer go on Grindr
and swipe right
466
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,834
at Black mens...
Hmm?
467
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,010
...white mens, Asian mens.
468
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,448
You been on Grindr?
I’ll no longer take trips
469
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,364
to the Philippines
looking for ladyboys.
470
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:27,584
To Phuket. Ko Samui.
Back to Phuket.
471
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,934
Then to Vietnam to see
if I can get them any cheaper.
472
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,154
I thought that was for
our anniversary, Ray.
473
00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:34,200
Oh, this nigga
got a lot of miles.
474
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,463
I’ll no longer stand
butt naked in a mirror
475
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,639
with my penis
tucked between my legs...
476
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:41,468
[ALL GASP]
...dancing like the dude from Silence of the Lambs.
477
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,600
[AS BUFFALO BILL]
"It puts the lotion in the basket, Precious."
478
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:46,429
I’m a changed man!
I’ve been delivered!
479
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:48,257
Shit.
I will!
480
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,172
I said I will!
481
00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:52,740
I will love a woman!
[SCATTERED PRAISE]
482
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,133
[EXCLAIMS]
483
00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:55,308
RAY:
Womans, womans, womans!
484
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,223
You can take that "W-O" off.
485
00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:58,615
Womans, womans, womans!
486
00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:00,878
Mens-es, mens-es, mens-es.
487
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:03,098
Womans-- [BABBLES]
488
00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:05,535
[BABBLES]
489
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,277
No, no. No, no, Ray. No, no.
490
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,236
[MOANING]
491
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,802
[BABBLING]
492
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:13,674
[MUMBLING]
493
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:14,805
[HIGH-PITCHED BABBLING]
494
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,372
Gulp, gulp, gulp.
495
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,853
Whoa, nigga.
496
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,724
Hawk tuah,
hawk tuah, hawk tuah!
497
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,683
You hocking on it?
498
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,728
["TWERK FOR JESUS"
BY NOVA VYBE PLAYS] I’ve been delivered!
499
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:26,817
♪ Work, work, working it
For Jesus♪
500
00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:30,125
♪ No, the devilry is gonna
Stay beneath us♪
501
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,997
♪ The good praise
Really bumping Out your speakers♪
502
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,217
♪ I’ma dance
’Cause His glory Make me feel some type of way♪
503
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:37,176
♪ So we be
Twerk, twerk, twerkin’ it♪
504
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,134
♪ For Jesus♪
I’ve been delivered!
505
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:41,919
♪ No, the devilry is gonna
Stay beneath us♪
506
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,269
♪ Who make it happen?♪
507
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:45,053
♪ That’s Jesus♪
508
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,968
♪ Who have us clapping?
That’s Jesus♪
509
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:50,319
♪ And the devil can’t ever
Come between us♪
510
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:53,409
♪ We out here clap, clap
Clapping it for Jesus♪
511
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:56,282
[SING-SONGY] Tuesday, Tuesday.
512
00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:58,849
[GRUNTING]
SARA: Oh, my God.
513
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,938
Her face. All contorted.
514
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:02,723
Oh, my God, and the moaning.
515
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:04,725
[GROANS, SHUSHES]
516
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:07,423
[GRUNTS, SIGHS]
517
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,253
I’ve been trying to get that
out for an hour. [SIGHS]
518
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,473
How you feeling, Tues?
519
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,997
Hey, what are they giving you
for the pain? Is that--
520
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,129
Is that morphine or...?
[TUESDAY GRUNTS]
521
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,219
Bitch.
Let’s see.
522
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:21,307
[SARA GROANS]
523
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,266
Oh, yeah!
524
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,443
Oh, this that good, good.
525
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:28,966
This that
Britney Spears shit.
526
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,359
Makes me want to
get half-naked,
527
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:33,014
dance around
and juggle some knives.
528
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:35,364
Sara, who’s that
Jeffrey Dahmer look-a-like?
529
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:38,193
Oh. This is my boyfriend, Jack.
530
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,282
Really nice to meet you.
531
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:42,719
Looks like Ted Bundy to me.
532
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:45,113
But that ain’t
none of my business.
533
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:47,246
Mm-hmm. Mm!
534
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:49,378
This little stabbed-up
bitch here needs some rest.
535
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,685
So y’all get the fuck out!
536
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:52,816
Yes, ma’am.
537
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,384
[GRUNTS] Oh, not you, Sara.
[DOOR SHUTS]
538
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,691
[SLURRING] Why? What did I do?
539
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,694
I’m so scared.
540
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:04,263
[SIGHS] Oh, Tues,
you should be.
541
00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:07,048
You’ve been stabbed nine times.
542
00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:09,442
And the killer knows
where you live.
543
00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:12,183
I would invite you to come
stay at my place, but
544
00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:14,795
I don’t really want
that kind of juju in my house.
545
00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:16,187
[SIGHS] For all we know,
546
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,364
he’s standing
right outside that door.
547
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,760
[SMOOCHES, CHUCKLES]
548
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,023
That’s comforting, Sara.
549
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:27,416
I thought I was gonna die.
550
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:29,636
I know, me too!
551
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:32,160
I planned your funeral.
[GASPS]
552
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,815
What the hell?
And I wrote your obituary.
553
00:21:34,989 --> 00:21:36,904
More like ChatGPT wrote it.
554
00:21:37,078 --> 00:21:38,253
But you’re still here.
555
00:21:38,427 --> 00:21:40,690
And I will never
let anyone hurt you.
556
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,825
Oh, yum! Ice chips!
557
00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:46,435
[SCREAMING] Oh, God!
558
00:21:46,609 --> 00:21:48,132
[PAINED SHOUT] Get off me!
[SUSTAINED BEEP]
559
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,960
[PAINED GROANING]
560
00:21:50,134 --> 00:21:51,397
Help!
561
00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:53,181
This white girl can’t die
on my shift!
562
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,748
I’m a DEI hire!
563
00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:57,490
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
She was fine a second ago.
564
00:21:57,664 --> 00:21:59,753
No! No, I’m good! I’m good!
Clear!
565
00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:01,711
[GRUNTS]
Again!
566
00:22:01,885 --> 00:22:04,192
Come on, white bitch,
I need this job! Clear!
567
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,150
It’s not working!Clear!
568
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,762
We’re losing her.
[GRUNTS]
569
00:22:08,936 --> 00:22:10,329
Harder!
570
00:22:11,068 --> 00:22:11,895
[BOTH GRUNTING]
571
00:22:12,069 --> 00:22:13,636
[GRUNTS]
[GASPS]
572
00:22:13,810 --> 00:22:14,942
[SUSTAINED BEEP]
Oh, boy.
573
00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:17,031
Look like there ain’t
nothing left
574
00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:19,294
but thoughts,
prayers and pork rinds.
575
00:22:20,251 --> 00:22:21,383
Dear Lord.
576
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:23,472
Nurse Ratchett,
check out the wire!
577
00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:25,822
The Wirewas the shit, baby.
That’s my show.
578
00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:27,824
Drugs and that Idris Elba
579
00:22:27,998 --> 00:22:30,087
make this coochie
want to pop, pop, pop!
580
00:22:30,261 --> 00:22:32,525
Dear Lord, please
581
00:22:32,699 --> 00:22:33,961
accept this white bitch’s--
[MONITOR BEEPS]
582
00:22:34,135 --> 00:22:35,876
[GASPS] Oh!
583
00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:38,095
The Lord works
in mysterious ways.
584
00:22:39,053 --> 00:22:40,097
I’m going on break.
585
00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:41,925
Oh, Tues.
586
00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:43,536
I will never let anyone
587
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:46,190
hurt you again.
Mm-mm.
588
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,367
[BUZZES]
[SCREAMS]
589
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:51,413
Ooh! My bad.
590
00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:53,807
[TUESDAY RASPING]
591
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:01,510
[PHONE RINGING]
592
00:23:03,207 --> 00:23:04,383
Hello?
593
00:23:04,557 --> 00:23:06,820
GHOSTFACE:
Hello, Sara.
594
00:23:06,994 --> 00:23:08,517
Who is this?
595
00:23:08,691 --> 00:23:12,173
GHOSTFACE: Someone
who knows your little secret.
596
00:23:12,347 --> 00:23:14,828
No, no, I swear
that wasn’t a Nazi salute!
597
00:23:15,002 --> 00:23:16,395
Okay? I won Prom Queen
598
00:23:16,569 --> 00:23:18,527
and I was-- I was
throwing my heart to the crowd!
599
00:23:18,701 --> 00:23:23,184
GHOSTFACE: No, I’m talking
about your family secret.
600
00:23:23,358 --> 00:23:24,620
[GASPS]
601
00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:27,710
Oh, you’re the fuck
who hurt my sister.
602
00:23:27,884 --> 00:23:30,017
GHOSTFACE: Well, I had
to get you to come back here.
603
00:23:30,191 --> 00:23:32,628
Listen, if you want
to fuck with me, asshole,
604
00:23:32,802 --> 00:23:34,195
then come and get me!
605
00:23:34,369 --> 00:23:35,718
GHOSTFACE: With pleasure.
606
00:23:35,892 --> 00:23:37,459
[SCREAMS]
607
00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:39,113
[SARA SCREAMS]
[AGONIZED WAIL]
608
00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:42,029
[GRUNTS]
Help!
609
00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:44,074
Somebody help!
[GRUNTS]
610
00:23:44,248 --> 00:23:47,034
Please, somebody help!
611
00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:49,297
Bitch!
612
00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:50,777
This the break room.
613
00:23:50,951 --> 00:23:51,778
WOMAN: Mm-hmm.
614
00:23:51,952 --> 00:23:52,996
We on break.
615
00:23:53,170 --> 00:23:54,607
Oh, God.
MAN: Preach.
616
00:23:54,781 --> 00:23:55,608
[GRUNTS]
617
00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:02,658
Take that!
618
00:24:02,832 --> 00:24:04,573
[GRUNTS]
GHOSTFACE: Oof!
619
00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:05,574
[GRUNTS]
620
00:24:06,183 --> 00:24:07,576
Please, save me!
621
00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:10,318
I’ve been saving people
all day!
622
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,233
So you handle yours.
623
00:24:12,407 --> 00:24:14,061
I’ll be right over here
624
00:24:14,235 --> 00:24:17,151
eating my falafel
and my pork rinds.
625
00:24:17,325 --> 00:24:19,153
I look like your mama?
[WHIMPERS]
626
00:24:21,024 --> 00:24:23,853
Try me now!
GHOSTFACE: Break’s over.
627
00:24:26,639 --> 00:24:27,466
[GHOSTFACE GRUNTS]
628
00:24:30,381 --> 00:24:31,687
You’re welcome.
629
00:24:34,734 --> 00:24:37,867
It really looks like
you got hit with something hard. Like metal.
630
00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:40,348
I told you, I fell.
631
00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:44,308
Now where exactly
are we going? [SIGHS] To talk to an expert.
632
00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:57,452
MAN: Go away!
633
00:24:57,626 --> 00:24:59,236
I’m so sorry to bother you.
We just--
634
00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:00,760
We just want to ask you
a few questions.
635
00:25:00,934 --> 00:25:02,501
[THUDS]
Give me one good reason
636
00:25:02,675 --> 00:25:03,980
why I should talk to you.
637
00:25:04,154 --> 00:25:05,286
I’m white.
638
00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:07,027
How white?
Oh, I’m talking
639
00:25:07,201 --> 00:25:08,594
Candace Owens white.
640
00:25:09,769 --> 00:25:11,379
Oh.
Six feet.
641
00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:12,685
When you said expert,
I assumed you meant
642
00:25:12,859 --> 00:25:14,034
more like
Neil deGrasse Tyson or--
643
00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:15,122
Shut up.[MOANS]
644
00:25:15,296 --> 00:25:16,732
I’m Sara Campbell.
645
00:25:16,906 --> 00:25:19,213
I was attacked last night.
I think you should leave.
646
00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:21,868
I don’t want to get stabbed.
And I don’t want Covid, okay?
647
00:25:22,042 --> 00:25:23,434
Please, come on. Just--
Let’s go.
648
00:25:23,609 --> 00:25:24,610
Just two minutes,
that’s all I’m asking.
649
00:25:24,784 --> 00:25:26,002
No. No.
650
00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:27,526
I’ll give you eight minutes.
651
00:25:29,266 --> 00:25:30,572
And another thing.
652
00:25:30,746 --> 00:25:33,140
[BOTH GASP]
I got to test you for Covid.
653
00:25:33,314 --> 00:25:34,707
[SWABS SQUEAKING]
[BOTH GROANING]
654
00:25:34,881 --> 00:25:36,143
Ohh!
655
00:25:36,317 --> 00:25:37,361
Ahh...
656
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,015
You guys are good.
657
00:25:39,189 --> 00:25:40,974
When did the work week
become the "woke week"?
658
00:25:41,148 --> 00:25:44,107
We’ve got Black Friday.
What’s next, Mulatto Monday?
659
00:25:44,281 --> 00:25:45,848
I mean, Yellow Thursday?
[DOOR CREAKS]
660
00:25:46,022 --> 00:25:48,372
GAIL ON TV:
Tan Tuesday? Come on.
661
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:49,548
[TV CLICKS]
662
00:25:50,897 --> 00:25:52,246
Let me get this
out of your way.
663
00:25:52,420 --> 00:25:53,769
SARA: Oh!
Sorry.
664
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:55,597
[TIMER DINGS]Oh!
665
00:25:55,771 --> 00:25:57,164
Covid tests are done.
666
00:25:57,991 --> 00:25:59,296
Yup! You’re good.
667
00:25:59,470 --> 00:26:01,342
[BOTH SIGHING]
668
00:26:01,516 --> 00:26:02,865
You’re Cindy’s daughter, right?
669
00:26:03,039 --> 00:26:04,606
Yeah.Yeah.
670
00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:08,218
I don’t know him.
This is Jack. My love interest.
671
00:26:08,392 --> 00:26:09,829
No! No, no, no.
672
00:26:10,003 --> 00:26:13,136
Rule Number One
of surviving a horror movie is,
673
00:26:13,310 --> 00:26:15,399
"Never trust
the love interest."
674
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:16,923
Look at him!
675
00:26:17,097 --> 00:26:20,709
He’s got that weird lazy eye,
poking one way
676
00:26:20,883 --> 00:26:23,886
and then he’s drooling
like a psychopath.
677
00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:25,801
He’s got that stump leg.
678
00:26:25,975 --> 00:26:28,325
Makes him all walk weird
and creepy.
679
00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:31,198
I don’t have a stump.
Well, that guy does.
680
00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:34,549
Oh I’m looking at me.
681
00:26:34,723 --> 00:26:37,987
Special Officer Doofy. Retired.
682
00:26:38,161 --> 00:26:41,164
Listen, Doofy,
we could really use your help.
683
00:26:41,338 --> 00:26:43,384
No. I can’t go back
to that life.
684
00:26:43,558 --> 00:26:45,952
Plus, we’re in the middle
of a global pandemic!
685
00:26:46,126 --> 00:26:47,431
Okay, I hate
to break it to you,
686
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:50,130
but Covid has been over
for, like, years.
687
00:26:50,304 --> 00:26:52,219
Hmm.Really?
688
00:26:52,393 --> 00:26:53,568
JACK: Yeah.
SARA: Yeah.
689
00:26:56,136 --> 00:26:57,659
Damn it!
690
00:26:57,833 --> 00:27:00,488
What am I gonna do
with all this canned meat?
691
00:27:02,098 --> 00:27:04,797
DOOFY: Get out! I don’t want
Ghostface to find me.
692
00:27:04,971 --> 00:27:06,233
And don’t come back!
693
00:27:15,982 --> 00:27:17,723
[IMITATING POLICE SIREN]
694
00:27:19,028 --> 00:27:20,421
It’s the sound of the police.
695
00:27:20,595 --> 00:27:22,336
[IMITATING SIREN]
696
00:27:25,774 --> 00:27:29,125
Special Officer Doofy,
reporting for duty.
697
00:27:29,299 --> 00:27:31,911
Okay, just because he showered
doesn’t mean that--
698
00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:33,216
No, I didn’t shower.
699
00:27:33,390 --> 00:27:35,741
I just take water
from my mouth and--
700
00:27:35,915 --> 00:27:37,743
You want some? Okay.
No, that’s okay.
701
00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:40,180
Come on, Doofy.
Yeah, let’s do it.
702
00:27:40,354 --> 00:27:42,008
DEI: Sara, is your
ghetto-ass mom coming
703
00:27:42,182 --> 00:27:43,487
or can we start talking
about this plot?
704
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:45,489
Uh...[DOOR OPENS]
705
00:27:46,447 --> 00:27:47,404
[DOOR SLAMS]
706
00:27:47,578 --> 00:27:48,797
Hi.
707
00:27:48,971 --> 00:27:50,146
You came.
708
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,061
Not in, like, 15 years, honey.
709
00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:54,716
But I did buy this new rose,
710
00:27:54,890 --> 00:27:56,457
so fingers crossed. [CHUCKLES]
[PILL BOTTLE POPS]
711
00:27:58,720 --> 00:27:59,939
[SIGHS]
712
00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:01,418
CINDY: Oh.
713
00:28:01,592 --> 00:28:02,811
Oh!
714
00:28:02,985 --> 00:28:05,118
Oh, my old friend!
715
00:28:05,292 --> 00:28:07,598
You taught me how to dance.
716
00:28:07,773 --> 00:28:10,384
How to make a high N-word pie.
717
00:28:10,558 --> 00:28:12,734
Nigga, I’m right
in back of you.
718
00:28:12,908 --> 00:28:13,648
Shorty!
719
00:28:13,822 --> 00:28:15,084
What’s up, Cindy?
720
00:28:15,258 --> 00:28:17,304
How you doing? My nigga.
721
00:28:17,478 --> 00:28:19,567
BOTH: [GIGGLE]
Shit, son!
722
00:28:19,741 --> 00:28:21,003
[BOTH LAUGHING]
723
00:28:21,177 --> 00:28:22,875
I can’t believe you thought
I was dead.
724
00:28:23,049 --> 00:28:25,704
Well, between cancer
from the weed smoke
725
00:28:25,878 --> 00:28:28,141
your love of the McRib
and racist cops,
726
00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:29,708
I didn’t think
you had a chance.
727
00:28:29,882 --> 00:28:31,840
Yeah,
that’s a terrible combination.
728
00:28:32,667 --> 00:28:34,800
Hi, Cin.
Stop smiling at me!
729
00:28:34,974 --> 00:28:36,192
[CINDY GRUNTS]
730
00:28:36,366 --> 00:28:37,541
[ALL GASPING]
731
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:39,195
Shit! WorldStar!
732
00:28:39,369 --> 00:28:41,284
WorldStar! WorldStar!
733
00:28:41,458 --> 00:28:43,765
Hey,
he’s intellectually disabled!
734
00:28:43,939 --> 00:28:45,767
That’s just how he looks,
you drunk honky.
735
00:28:45,941 --> 00:28:47,116
SHORTY: Hey, hey, hey!
736
00:28:47,290 --> 00:28:48,727
Don’t call that white bitch
a honky.
737
00:28:48,901 --> 00:28:50,076
C’mon, have some respect.
738
00:28:50,250 --> 00:28:52,948
I keep seeing people
smiling everywhere.
739
00:28:53,122 --> 00:28:54,515
I’m not very likable,
740
00:28:54,689 --> 00:28:56,691
so it must be
some kind of curse.
741
00:28:56,865 --> 00:28:58,519
Hey, everybody!
[WHISPERING] She’s high.
742
00:28:58,693 --> 00:28:59,912
Look what I got.
743
00:29:00,086 --> 00:29:01,740
Non-branded gelatin shots
744
00:29:01,914 --> 00:29:04,177
made with grain alcohol
and GHB.
745
00:29:04,351 --> 00:29:05,569
So ain’t nobody sipping nothing
746
00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,180
they didn’t consent to
like last time,
747
00:29:07,354 --> 00:29:08,398
which I apologize.
Mm-hmm.
748
00:29:08,572 --> 00:29:10,096
Take one.
I love roofying myself.
749
00:29:10,270 --> 00:29:11,358
[LAUGHS]
750
00:29:11,532 --> 00:29:12,185
No, Ma. No, Mama.
You sure, baby?
751
00:29:12,359 --> 00:29:13,664
Hi, Brenda.
752
00:29:13,839 --> 00:29:15,623
Please do not call me
by my government name.
753
00:29:15,797 --> 00:29:17,538
Call me Ma. [GASPS]
754
00:29:18,582 --> 00:29:19,366
Cindy!
755
00:29:19,540 --> 00:29:20,846
[GASPS] Oh, my God!
756
00:29:21,890 --> 00:29:22,761
You dropped the tray.
757
00:29:22,935 --> 00:29:24,153
Oh, my God, Cindy,
758
00:29:24,327 --> 00:29:26,112
I haven’t seen you in forever!
[GASPS]
759
00:29:26,286 --> 00:29:28,897
My God, look at you!
You look the same!
760
00:29:29,071 --> 00:29:30,464
Minus the crow’s feet.
761
00:29:30,638 --> 00:29:32,727
And your hair is so dry.
762
00:29:32,901 --> 00:29:35,730
Oh, and your titties
dropped so far.
763
00:29:35,904 --> 00:29:38,559
Other than that,
you look the exact same.
764
00:29:38,733 --> 00:29:40,474
What have you been up to?
765
00:29:40,648 --> 00:29:42,693
Oh, you know,
neglecting my children
766
00:29:42,868 --> 00:29:46,045
so I can prepare
to kill Ghostface should he ever return.
767
00:29:46,219 --> 00:29:47,698
What about you?
[SLURPS]
768
00:29:47,873 --> 00:29:49,875
Well, I been mostly just
getting high school kids drunk
769
00:29:50,049 --> 00:29:51,441
in a desperate attempt
to stay young
770
00:29:51,615 --> 00:29:52,791
and keep my kids at home.
771
00:29:52,965 --> 00:29:54,357
I always knew
you’d be a great mom.
772
00:29:54,531 --> 00:29:55,750
[CHUCKLING] Oh, Cindy!
773
00:29:55,924 --> 00:29:58,144
Should we hug?
Oh, I really want to,
774
00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:01,364
but I’m a Republican now
so I’m supposed to be racist.
775
00:30:01,538 --> 00:30:03,976
Oh, girl, I think all
white people are racist anyway.
776
00:30:04,150 --> 00:30:05,238
Come here.
Okay.
777
00:30:05,412 --> 00:30:07,196
Mm!
Oh!
778
00:30:07,370 --> 00:30:10,199
You want a shot? Yeah? Here.
Oh, yes, yes, please.
779
00:30:10,373 --> 00:30:12,549
You know, Ma,
this place could be so cool
780
00:30:12,723 --> 00:30:15,161
if you had, like,
a-a beer pong table over there,
781
00:30:15,335 --> 00:30:16,640
and maybe, like, a snack wall.
782
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:18,294
What you know about cool?
When I was your age,
783
00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:20,731
I was popping bottles
with Puffy, Puff Daddy,
784
00:30:20,906 --> 00:30:22,168
P. Diddy, Diddy.
785
00:30:22,342 --> 00:30:23,952
All the Seans.
[GIGGLES]
786
00:30:24,126 --> 00:30:26,563
[SCOFFS] That didn’t age well.
Your momma was the freak
787
00:30:26,737 --> 00:30:27,695
in the freak-offs.
788
00:30:27,869 --> 00:30:29,349
[GIGGLES] Shit, son!
[SMACKS]
789
00:30:29,523 --> 00:30:30,785
You want to see something cool?
790
00:30:30,959 --> 00:30:33,440
I’ma show you something cool.
[MUMBLING]
791
00:30:33,614 --> 00:30:34,833
[DRAWERS SCRAPING]
792
00:30:37,531 --> 00:30:40,142
[GUN COCKS]
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
793
00:30:40,316 --> 00:30:41,448
God, that’s cool.
794
00:30:41,622 --> 00:30:42,623
What are you doing?
795
00:30:42,797 --> 00:30:43,537
What?
796
00:30:43,711 --> 00:30:44,668
No, not like that.
797
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:45,800
Like this.
[ALL GASP]
798
00:30:45,974 --> 00:30:47,410
[WHIMPERING]
BRENDA: Oh, yeah.
799
00:30:47,584 --> 00:30:50,022
I don’t know why
y’all acting so scared.
800
00:30:50,196 --> 00:30:51,284
The gun ain’t even loaded.
801
00:30:51,458 --> 00:30:52,676
[GRUNTS]Shit!
802
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:54,940
Oh, shit, son!
803
00:30:55,766 --> 00:30:57,290
Uh-oh. I did it again.
804
00:30:57,464 --> 00:30:59,074
[GIGGLES]
805
00:30:59,248 --> 00:31:00,554
[BOTH LAUGHING]
806
00:31:00,728 --> 00:31:02,382
I always forget that last one
in the chamber.
807
00:31:02,556 --> 00:31:03,426
Help me move this body.
808
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:04,558
Yeah, you got it.
809
00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:06,125
That was fun.
810
00:31:06,299 --> 00:31:07,691
BRENDA:
Oh, so, what are you doing
811
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:10,042
after this?
CINDY: I want to go to Cabo.
812
00:31:10,216 --> 00:31:11,739
BRENDA: Oh, I love Cabo!
813
00:31:11,913 --> 00:31:13,741
You know what?
814
00:31:13,915 --> 00:31:16,048
I used to put cocaine
up my hoo-hah and travel there all the time.
815
00:31:16,222 --> 00:31:18,572
Well, that’s because
you’re so smart. Yeah. [GRUNTS]
816
00:31:19,747 --> 00:31:20,617
[CINDY SIGHS]
817
00:31:24,056 --> 00:31:24,926
Oh.
818
00:31:26,710 --> 00:31:29,496
All right.
Let’s get back to the plot.
819
00:31:29,670 --> 00:31:31,324
I’m looking at you,
Ted Bundy eyes.
820
00:31:31,498 --> 00:31:32,629
Looking like a school shooter.
821
00:31:32,803 --> 00:31:33,717
I think you the killer.
822
00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:35,067
JACK: Oh, me?
DEI: Mm-hmm.
823
00:31:35,241 --> 00:31:37,025
Okay, what about
Deputy Doofy over there?
824
00:31:37,199 --> 00:31:40,289
I-I don’t have a motive.
You know, what’s my motive?
825
00:31:40,463 --> 00:31:42,117
You were the killer
in the first movie.
826
00:31:42,291 --> 00:31:44,728
Shouldn’t you be locked up?
No, I got pardoned.
827
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:47,862
Mostly because of the
storming the Capitol, you know.
828
00:31:48,036 --> 00:31:49,951
Oh.
I got proof.
829
00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:52,519
This is me. And it’s framed.
JESS: Oh.
830
00:31:52,693 --> 00:31:53,781
That’s a cool hat.
831
00:31:53,955 --> 00:31:55,609
What about Jess?
832
00:31:56,436 --> 00:31:57,393
What about me?
833
00:31:57,567 --> 00:31:58,786
If anybody here has issues
834
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,005
that could lead to murder...
[JESS SCOFFS]
835
00:32:00,179 --> 00:32:01,702
Okay, I get it!
836
00:32:01,876 --> 00:32:03,747
Trans-shaming
is not cool, okay?
837
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:05,880
They-- He’s just a dude.
Yeah.
838
00:32:06,054 --> 00:32:08,839
Minus the upper body strength
and the dick part.
839
00:32:09,014 --> 00:32:11,016
Hey, you don’t know
what I got down here, okay?
840
00:32:11,190 --> 00:32:13,061
I do.
Hey, hey.
841
00:32:13,235 --> 00:32:14,976
Listen, what we know so far
842
00:32:15,150 --> 00:32:16,673
is everyone who’s been attacked
843
00:32:16,847 --> 00:32:19,285
is related to
the original characters.
844
00:32:19,459 --> 00:32:20,590
He wants to kill the kids.
845
00:32:20,764 --> 00:32:24,551
Aha! He’s making a rebootequel.
846
00:32:24,725 --> 00:32:26,205
A what now?
DEI: Yeah. It’s like,
847
00:32:26,379 --> 00:32:27,641
a reboot and a sequel.
848
00:32:27,815 --> 00:32:29,948
Mixes legacy characters
with new characters
849
00:32:30,122 --> 00:32:32,907
in an attempt to feed into
bullshit nostalgia
850
00:32:33,081 --> 00:32:34,865
and bring more fans
to the theaters.
851
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,780
Just like last year’s
I Know What You Did Last Summer.
852
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,565
[DOOR SHUTS]
853
00:32:38,739 --> 00:32:41,263
That’s a movie?
What did I do last summer?
854
00:32:41,437 --> 00:32:43,526
I think you’re talking about
The Summer I Turned Pretty.
855
00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:45,050
Yeah.
BRENDA: Ray,
856
00:32:45,224 --> 00:32:47,052
when did you get here?
Oh, I been here.
857
00:32:47,226 --> 00:32:48,967
I was just hanging out
by the men’s room. [PHONE LOCKS, BUZZES]
858
00:32:49,141 --> 00:32:50,229
Oh.
My room?
859
00:32:50,403 --> 00:32:52,144
DEI: Okay, so that means
860
00:32:52,318 --> 00:32:55,408
that our killer is writing
his own version of Horror Movie.
861
00:32:55,582 --> 00:32:59,151
Okay, so according to
the re-booty-call rules,
862
00:32:59,325 --> 00:33:00,369
who’s the killer?
863
00:33:00,543 --> 00:33:01,588
[SCOFFS, CHUCKLES]
864
00:33:01,762 --> 00:33:03,590
I think it’s pretty obvious.
865
00:33:06,332 --> 00:33:07,463
Who?
866
00:33:07,637 --> 00:33:09,552
You, bitch.
Me?
867
00:33:09,726 --> 00:33:11,554
Guys, I am not the killer.
868
00:33:11,728 --> 00:33:14,688
Ghostface attacked Tues
to lure me back here.
869
00:33:14,862 --> 00:33:17,996
I think he attacked Tuesday
to get you back here
870
00:33:18,170 --> 00:33:20,041
so he could get me back here.
871
00:33:20,215 --> 00:33:22,304
He wants to kill the OGs.
872
00:33:22,478 --> 00:33:23,697
That was a flex.
873
00:33:23,871 --> 00:33:24,915
Yeah, that sounds better.
874
00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:26,569
Aw, fuck this!
875
00:33:26,743 --> 00:33:29,529
And fuck you, Mother!
[SHORTY GASPS]
876
00:33:29,703 --> 00:33:31,052
To your mother?
877
00:33:31,226 --> 00:33:34,621
Hey! Don’t be so disrespectful!
878
00:33:34,795 --> 00:33:36,144
And call me Mom!
879
00:33:36,318 --> 00:33:37,450
Or Mommy.
880
00:33:37,624 --> 00:33:39,800
Or whatever’s more comfortable.
881
00:33:41,671 --> 00:33:42,890
DISPATCH:
All units, be advised:
882
00:33:43,064 --> 00:33:44,500
Suspect is still at large.
883
00:33:44,674 --> 00:33:46,067
Black cloak, white mask...
884
00:33:46,241 --> 00:33:47,677
[SIGHS]
...big-ass knife.
885
00:33:47,851 --> 00:33:48,722
[SNIFFS]
886
00:33:48,896 --> 00:33:50,811
[DISPATCH CHATTERS FAINTLY]
887
00:33:53,553 --> 00:33:55,120
[BABY WAILS DISTANTLY]
888
00:33:56,251 --> 00:33:57,861
[BABY CRYING]
[SIGHS]
889
00:33:58,036 --> 00:34:00,299
[PHONE RINGS, CHIMES]
890
00:34:00,473 --> 00:34:03,258
Talk to me.
GHOSTFACE: Hello, Sheriff.
891
00:34:03,432 --> 00:34:04,738
Agent Underwood?
892
00:34:04,912 --> 00:34:06,566
GHOSTFACE:
I’ll give you one hint.
893
00:34:06,740 --> 00:34:09,134
What’s your favorite
scary movie?
894
00:34:09,308 --> 00:34:11,179
Well, I’m gonna go
with Saltburn.
895
00:34:11,353 --> 00:34:14,095
I mean, the member on that
English guy was terrifying.
896
00:34:14,269 --> 00:34:17,316
Ken Jeong’s junk
in The Hangover was a much better depiction
897
00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:19,231
of the male anatomy.
898
00:34:19,405 --> 00:34:20,928
Now what do you want, fuckface?
899
00:34:21,102 --> 00:34:22,495
GHOSTFACE: Well,
I’m just calling to tell you
900
00:34:22,669 --> 00:34:24,279
that by the time you get home,
901
00:34:24,453 --> 00:34:26,499
I’ll have gutted
your baby girl!
902
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,155
Hey, asshole, she’s a boy!
903
00:34:30,329 --> 00:34:33,288
[SIREN WAILS]
904
00:34:37,423 --> 00:34:38,380
[TIRES SQUEAL]
905
00:34:39,251 --> 00:34:40,165
Jess!
906
00:34:40,991 --> 00:34:41,862
[GROANS]
907
00:34:42,645 --> 00:34:45,213
[HEARTBEAT THUMPING]
908
00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:49,826
[DISTANT SIRENS]
909
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,480
[BIRDS TWEETING]
910
00:34:55,528 --> 00:34:57,007
GHOSTFACE:
Looking for this?
911
00:34:58,226 --> 00:35:00,054
Let me help you.
912
00:35:00,228 --> 00:35:04,189
I got your baby dick.
Winky, winky, winky.
913
00:35:09,846 --> 00:35:11,587
[PHONE RINGING]
914
00:35:13,415 --> 00:35:15,330
All right. [CLEARS THROAT]
Here we go.
915
00:35:15,504 --> 00:35:17,115
What do you want, fuckface?
916
00:35:17,289 --> 00:35:20,466
GHOSTFACE: Well,
like father, like, uh, son?
917
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,294
Uh--
918
00:35:22,468 --> 00:35:23,817
I understand
you’re home alone. [PLATE CLINKS]
919
00:35:23,991 --> 00:35:27,212
Well, Dad’s out, but
the pool guy, the gardener
920
00:35:27,386 --> 00:35:30,171
and the plumber
are all here, asshole.
921
00:35:30,345 --> 00:35:31,825
GHOSTFACE:
Look out your window.
922
00:35:33,479 --> 00:35:34,828
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[MEN YELLING]
923
00:35:35,002 --> 00:35:36,656
[SIREN WHOOPING]
ICE!
924
00:35:36,830 --> 00:35:39,528
No! But they’re the backbone
of the American workforce!
925
00:35:39,702 --> 00:35:42,052
[WHIMPERS] And I’m too white
to do those jobs.
926
00:35:42,227 --> 00:35:43,750
GHOSTFACE:
Let’s cut to the chase.
927
00:35:43,924 --> 00:35:45,882
I’ll ask you one question.
928
00:35:46,056 --> 00:35:48,798
If you answer correctly,
you live.
929
00:35:48,972 --> 00:35:52,541
Who was the killer
inHorror Movie?
930
00:35:52,715 --> 00:35:55,805
Oh, that’s easy.
It was Bobby and then Gay Ray
931
00:35:55,979 --> 00:35:57,807
the guy who was
totally into dudes,
932
00:35:57,981 --> 00:35:59,069
even though
he claimed he wasn’t.
933
00:35:59,244 --> 00:36:01,159
Classic 2000s homophobia.
934
00:36:01,333 --> 00:36:02,812
But I got you, bitch.
935
00:36:02,986 --> 00:36:05,728
GHOSTFACE: Wrong! You forgot
Special Officer Doofy.
936
00:36:05,902 --> 00:36:08,557
Now you die.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
937
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:17,827
Bumbaclot!
938
00:36:18,001 --> 00:36:19,438
[DOORBELL RINGS]
939
00:36:19,612 --> 00:36:21,179
GHOSTFACE: You should
probably answer that.
940
00:36:21,353 --> 00:36:24,834
I can literally see you
trying to steal my package.
941
00:36:25,008 --> 00:36:27,359
[PACKAGE FIZZLES]
GHOSTFACE: Oh, shit!
942
00:36:27,533 --> 00:36:28,577
[GAGS]
943
00:36:28,751 --> 00:36:30,144
Ah, that was easy.
944
00:36:30,318 --> 00:36:32,755
[DOORBELL RINGS]
945
00:36:32,929 --> 00:36:34,757
GHOSTFACE: Uh, someone
order steaks?
946
00:36:34,931 --> 00:36:36,803
It’s GoPuff.
Hmm.
947
00:36:36,977 --> 00:36:38,674
[FLOORBOARD CREAKS]
948
00:36:38,848 --> 00:36:40,850
Wait a sec.
GHOSTFACE: Careful.
949
00:36:41,024 --> 00:36:43,026
You wouldn’t want
to let in a killer.
950
00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:47,509
You are about to identify
as dead.
951
00:36:48,945 --> 00:36:49,859
[GURGLES]
952
00:36:50,425 --> 00:36:51,600
You...
953
00:36:51,774 --> 00:36:54,212
stab like-- [CHOKES]
a girl.
954
00:36:54,386 --> 00:36:55,517
[THUDS]
955
00:36:55,691 --> 00:36:57,302
[FAINT POLICE CHATTER]
[DISTANT SIRENS]
956
00:37:01,915 --> 00:37:04,309
Come on, girl,
hit that Ghostface Shuffle.
957
00:37:04,483 --> 00:37:06,833
Try the Ghostface Killah
Collection Bundle.
958
00:37:07,007 --> 00:37:09,357
This is Keke West
for OnlyFans Rapid News.
959
00:37:09,531 --> 00:37:11,098
"Rapid News".
You mean "Vapid News".
960
00:37:11,272 --> 00:37:13,274
You don’t even
have a cameraman!
961
00:37:13,448 --> 00:37:14,580
[GASPS] My equipment!
[EQUIPMENT CLATTERS]
962
00:37:15,972 --> 00:37:17,191
Excuse me.
963
00:37:19,019 --> 00:37:20,020
Oh, my. You’re--
964
00:37:20,194 --> 00:37:21,500
Yes, yes.
965
00:37:21,674 --> 00:37:23,153
Three-time Emmy nominee
966
00:37:23,328 --> 00:37:25,808
for Outstanding Achievement
in Sensational Reporting.
967
00:37:25,982 --> 00:37:27,897
I was gonna say
the lady from Friends,
968
00:37:28,071 --> 00:37:30,291
but shorter
and with less Botox.
969
00:37:30,465 --> 00:37:31,597
Oh. [CHUCKLES] Is that
what you were
970
00:37:31,771 --> 00:37:33,163
"gonna say"? [LAUGHS]Yeah.
971
00:37:33,338 --> 00:37:34,730
You seriously don’t know
who I am?
972
00:37:34,904 --> 00:37:37,124
Babygirl, I am Gail--
DOOFY: Gail swallows!
973
00:37:37,298 --> 00:37:38,256
Hey.
974
00:37:38,430 --> 00:37:39,561
Hailstorm. Gail--
975
00:37:39,735 --> 00:37:41,868
Get the hell out of my way!
Oh.
976
00:37:42,042 --> 00:37:43,173
[POLICE SIREN WHOOPS]
977
00:37:46,133 --> 00:37:49,528
Doofus.
Hey, Gail.
978
00:37:49,702 --> 00:37:52,008
Wow. You haven’t aged a day.
979
00:37:52,182 --> 00:37:55,142
You’ve aged
like a million days. That’s this many. Five--
980
00:37:55,316 --> 00:37:56,883
Your fingers
smell like genitals.
981
00:37:57,057 --> 00:37:59,059
What are you doing
in that ridiculous uniform?
982
00:37:59,233 --> 00:38:02,671
Uh, I-I’m back on the case.
Yeah, I’m gonna bust Ghostface.
983
00:38:02,845 --> 00:38:04,107
Well, um,
984
00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,501
tell me,
Special Needs Officer Doofy...
985
00:38:06,675 --> 00:38:08,416
[DOOFY GROANS]
Um.
986
00:38:08,590 --> 00:38:10,026
Wow.
Are there any suspects
987
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,768
in this tragic yet completely
predictable incident?
988
00:38:12,942 --> 00:38:14,422
I-I’m not allowed to say.
989
00:38:14,596 --> 00:38:16,729
No, no, okay, no.
Yes, you can. Yes, you can.
990
00:38:16,903 --> 00:38:18,513
Not-- Yeah-- [MOANS]
991
00:38:18,687 --> 00:38:19,645
[MUMBLES]
You can tell me.
992
00:38:19,819 --> 00:38:20,994
Um, ah, oh, my God.
[CHUCKLES]
993
00:38:21,168 --> 00:38:22,212
What the f--
[DOOFY CHUCKLES]
994
00:38:22,387 --> 00:38:23,779
Hey!
995
00:38:23,953 --> 00:38:25,694
Remember when
you used to give blowjobs
996
00:38:25,868 --> 00:38:27,696
for sensitive information?
997
00:38:27,870 --> 00:38:31,134
I don’t give blowjobs anymore,
okay? Not since MeToo.
998
00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:32,701
Okay. Sorry.
999
00:38:32,875 --> 00:38:35,269
I give handjobs now,
but the story better be good.
1000
00:38:35,443 --> 00:38:38,707
Okay, I’ll do a handjob.
Let’s do it. Let’s do it.
1001
00:38:42,232 --> 00:38:43,799
[INHALING SHARPLY]
1002
00:38:49,631 --> 00:38:50,676
What the--
1003
00:39:00,076 --> 00:39:01,295
I’m gonna get you.
Uncle Ray-Ray’s gonna get you!
1004
00:39:01,469 --> 00:39:02,949
Ray?
You got my outfit,
1005
00:39:03,123 --> 00:39:04,298
you little critter.
1006
00:39:07,693 --> 00:39:09,695
Maybe weed shouldn’t be legal.
1007
00:39:11,479 --> 00:39:12,306
[SCOFFS]
1008
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,003
Fuck yeah, it should!
1009
00:39:16,049 --> 00:39:17,572
[GIGGLES]
1010
00:39:17,746 --> 00:39:18,573
[DOOR SHUTS]
1011
00:39:21,924 --> 00:39:24,100
[LAMP CLICKS]
[SNEAKERS SQUEAK]
1012
00:39:24,274 --> 00:39:26,146
GHOSTFACE: Hello, Shorty.
1013
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,802
You do know
that smoking is bad for you.
1014
00:39:29,976 --> 00:39:31,456
Actually,
weed ain’t bad for you.
1015
00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:34,546
You got Vitamin T, C and H,
1016
00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:36,678
C, B and D.
1017
00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:38,288
GHOSTFACE:
What’s the matter, Shorty?
1018
00:39:38,463 --> 00:39:41,335
You look a little antsy.
1019
00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:44,860
Maybe because there’s
a masked serial killer
1020
00:39:45,034 --> 00:39:46,253
sipping tea in my den.
1021
00:39:46,427 --> 00:39:48,081
GHOSTFACE:
Shorty, you’re my nigga.
1022
00:39:48,255 --> 00:39:50,736
I mean, friend. Please, sit.
1023
00:39:50,910 --> 00:39:52,085
All right.
1024
00:39:53,086 --> 00:39:54,348
[SPOON SCRAPING]
1025
00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,177
GHOSTFACE:
Do you want to quit smoking?
1026
00:39:57,351 --> 00:39:59,527
Well, to be honest,
I tried to quit.
1027
00:39:59,701 --> 00:40:02,878
But my mother said,
"I ain’t raisin’ no quitters."
1028
00:40:03,662 --> 00:40:04,880
So I quit quitting.
1029
00:40:05,054 --> 00:40:07,187
GHOSTFACE:
We could try hypnosis.
1030
00:40:07,361 --> 00:40:09,102
Bro, I don’t care
how many pocket watches
1031
00:40:09,276 --> 00:40:11,104
you try and wave
in front of my face
1032
00:40:11,278 --> 00:40:12,845
it ain’t gonna work, son.
[CHUCKLES]
1033
00:40:13,019 --> 00:40:15,587
You can’t magmetize me.
GHOSTFACE: Sleep.
1034
00:40:15,761 --> 00:40:18,372
[SNORING]
["ROCKABYE BABY" PLAYS]
1035
00:40:18,546 --> 00:40:20,418
Shorty.
1036
00:40:20,592 --> 00:40:22,463
[SLURPS] Hmm?
1037
00:40:22,637 --> 00:40:23,943
What’s up?
1038
00:40:24,117 --> 00:40:26,424
GHOSTFACE:
Tell me about your mother.
1039
00:40:26,598 --> 00:40:27,860
[SOFT SCRAPING]
1040
00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:29,339
Damn, nigga.
1041
00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:31,037
Let’s start
with something light, like:
1042
00:40:31,211 --> 00:40:33,082
"Do you lick ass, yes or no?"
1043
00:40:33,256 --> 00:40:35,128
The answer’s yes.
1044
00:40:35,302 --> 00:40:37,826
GHOSTFACE: So what
happened to her, Shorty?
1045
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,698
[SCRAPING]
1046
00:40:40,655 --> 00:40:42,440
She was coming home.
1047
00:40:43,528 --> 00:40:45,530
Her car was parked
to the side of the road.
1048
00:40:45,704 --> 00:40:47,619
Someone was in it.
1049
00:40:48,533 --> 00:40:50,056
And something bad
was happening.
1050
00:40:50,230 --> 00:40:52,232
[WOMAN MOANING]
[MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO]
1051
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:55,975
GHOSTFACE:
Why didn’t you call anyone?
1052
00:40:56,149 --> 00:40:56,976
I couldn’t.
1053
00:40:57,150 --> 00:40:58,499
I had warrants.
1054
00:40:58,673 --> 00:41:00,153
GHOSTFACE: You were 11.
1055
00:41:00,327 --> 00:41:02,111
I started young, nigga.
1056
00:41:03,243 --> 00:41:04,157
GHOSTFACE: Oh.
1057
00:41:04,766 --> 00:41:06,551
What do you see?
1058
00:41:08,074 --> 00:41:09,249
I...
1059
00:41:09,423 --> 00:41:11,294
[WOMAN MOANING]
1060
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:14,297
SHORTY:
I see a big explosion of water.
1061
00:41:16,125 --> 00:41:17,692
It was like
a Civil Rights hose.
1062
00:41:22,131 --> 00:41:24,220
Police said
it was a murder/suicide.
1063
00:41:25,395 --> 00:41:27,006
She killed that man.
1064
00:41:27,180 --> 00:41:30,705
When they opened the car door,
his limp body just slid out.
1065
00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:36,929
Like the green nigga
in Shape of Water.
1066
00:41:37,103 --> 00:41:38,757
I just didn’t want it
to be real.
1067
00:41:38,931 --> 00:41:40,976
GHOSTFACE:
What don’t you want to be real?
1068
00:41:42,064 --> 00:41:44,066
That my mother was a squirter!
1069
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:46,547
[CRYING]
Okay! She was a squirter.
1070
00:41:46,721 --> 00:41:49,028
All the floors
in her bedroom was warped.
1071
00:41:49,202 --> 00:41:52,205
I can’t move.
GHOSTFACE: You’re paralyzed.
1072
00:41:52,379 --> 00:41:54,163
Now...
[SCRAPING]
1073
00:41:54,337 --> 00:41:56,383
...sink into the chair.
Wait, no.
1074
00:41:56,557 --> 00:41:57,645
Wait.
GHOSTFACE: Sink!
1075
00:41:57,819 --> 00:41:58,820
[ECHOING CLANG]
1076
00:41:58,994 --> 00:42:00,605
[SCREAMS]
1077
00:42:00,779 --> 00:42:03,303
[GROANS]
1078
00:42:03,477 --> 00:42:06,088
Nigga!
1079
00:42:09,657 --> 00:42:11,616
[INAUDIBLE]
1080
00:42:14,488 --> 00:42:18,840
SHORTY:
[ECHOING] I’m in a K-hole, son!
1081
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,845
GHOSTFACE:
No, you’re in a K-pop hole.
1082
00:42:24,803 --> 00:42:26,805
[BUZZING, WARBLING]
1083
00:42:30,809 --> 00:42:31,897
♪ I smoked a bowl♪
1084
00:42:32,071 --> 00:42:33,899
♪ Now I’m so stoned♪
1085
00:42:34,073 --> 00:42:37,380
♪ Jeongmal nop-eun
Got me speaking in Korean♪
1086
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:39,861
- Oh, shit, son!
- ♪ I got so high♪
1087
00:42:40,035 --> 00:42:42,472
♪ I was out of my mind♪
1088
00:42:42,647 --> 00:42:46,172
- ♪ I can’t feel my own face♪
- Nigga, I’m numb.
1089
00:42:46,346 --> 00:42:48,522
♪ Was a problem child♪
1090
00:42:48,696 --> 00:42:50,524
- ♪ Smokin’ Black and Milds♪
- That’s what they do in the hood.
1091
00:42:50,698 --> 00:42:53,135
♪ Now I’m ’bout to get laid♪
1092
00:42:53,309 --> 00:42:55,094
♪ Y’all are ’bout
To get sprayed♪
1093
00:42:55,268 --> 00:42:58,532
- ♪ Now I’m flying
Time for dining♪ - [SQUEALING]
1094
00:42:58,706 --> 00:43:00,839
♪ ’Cuz I got the munchies♪
1095
00:43:01,013 --> 00:43:02,492
Luke Skywalker!
1096
00:43:02,667 --> 00:43:04,277
♪ Don’t need a reason♪
1097
00:43:04,451 --> 00:43:06,409
♪ To bang these demons♪
1098
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:10,239
♪ Now it burns when I pee♪
1099
00:43:10,413 --> 00:43:12,415
- ♪ We going up, up, up♪
- [SCREAMS]
1100
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:13,808
♪ N****, we smokin’♪
1101
00:43:13,982 --> 00:43:15,723
♪ We about to be tokin’♪
1102
00:43:15,897 --> 00:43:18,900
♪ Gonna be, gonna be smokin’
Ohh♪
1103
00:43:19,074 --> 00:43:21,816
♪ Up, up, up, n****
We smokin’♪
1104
00:43:21,990 --> 00:43:23,775
♪ N**** we gonna be tokin’♪
1105
00:43:23,949 --> 00:43:26,560
♪ Gonna be, gonna be smokin’♪
1106
00:43:26,734 --> 00:43:29,911
[SHORTY COUGHS, CHOKES]
1107
00:43:30,085 --> 00:43:31,783
That’s some good shit, son.
1108
00:43:31,957 --> 00:43:33,349
[GASPS, PANTS]
1109
00:43:33,523 --> 00:43:35,047
That dream was wild.
1110
00:43:35,221 --> 00:43:37,136
I must’ve been Elon Musk high.
1111
00:43:37,310 --> 00:43:39,312
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
1112
00:43:41,706 --> 00:43:43,185
[IN KOREAN]
Ahh shit, son!
1113
00:43:45,623 --> 00:43:46,928
[CHUCKLES]
1114
00:43:47,102 --> 00:43:48,669
[SQUEALS]
1115
00:43:51,454 --> 00:43:52,630
CINDY: Tuesday?
1116
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:54,501
Tuesday?
1117
00:43:57,678 --> 00:43:58,853
Bobby?
1118
00:44:01,116 --> 00:44:02,901
Bobby, what the...?
1119
00:44:04,293 --> 00:44:06,078
She’s gonna die.
1120
00:44:06,252 --> 00:44:07,601
Our daughter, Sara?
1121
00:44:07,775 --> 00:44:09,472
You’re probably right.
1122
00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:11,692
She’s tough, but let’s see her
get stabbed in the gut.
1123
00:44:11,866 --> 00:44:13,259
I’m gonna die.
1124
00:44:13,433 --> 00:44:15,565
Bobby, you’re already dead.
1125
00:44:15,740 --> 00:44:17,350
This hallucination
is a manifestation
1126
00:44:17,524 --> 00:44:19,569
of my own guilt
for being an awful mom.
1127
00:44:19,744 --> 00:44:22,137
Or it could be the shrooms
I just popped.
1128
00:44:23,312 --> 00:44:24,574
You’re gonna die.
1129
00:44:24,749 --> 00:44:27,752
Bitch, you ain’t killing me.
1130
00:44:28,709 --> 00:44:30,145
[SNARLS]
[GRUNTS]
1131
00:44:30,319 --> 00:44:32,104
[PANTS, GAGS]
[CLATTER]
1132
00:44:33,453 --> 00:44:34,584
You’re gonna die.
1133
00:44:35,324 --> 00:44:37,631
Stop smiling!
1134
00:44:37,805 --> 00:44:40,199
I can’t. Botox.
1135
00:44:40,373 --> 00:44:41,722
MAN: Hey!
Oh.
1136
00:44:41,896 --> 00:44:44,725
This is the mental ward.
Everyone smiles in here.
1137
00:44:44,899 --> 00:44:45,900
What?
1138
00:44:46,466 --> 00:44:48,598
How-- Um--
1139
00:44:48,773 --> 00:44:50,688
Could you point me
in the direction of the ICU?
1140
00:44:50,862 --> 00:44:52,385
Is it that way or that way?
1141
00:44:52,559 --> 00:44:54,039
Uh, visiting hours are over.
1142
00:44:54,213 --> 00:44:56,389
Oh, yes, of course.
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
1143
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,044
GAIL ON TV:
The network wants me to clarify
1144
00:44:59,218 --> 00:45:01,524
that Black Friday
has nothing to do with race.
1145
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:03,657
Well, just tell that
to my Black friend Benita
1146
00:45:03,831 --> 00:45:05,093
who’s probably clocking someone
1147
00:45:05,267 --> 00:45:07,095
over the head
at Target as we speak!
1148
00:45:07,269 --> 00:45:08,140
Right, Benita?
1149
00:45:19,804 --> 00:45:20,718
[SQUEAK]
1150
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:25,244
Shamone!
1151
00:45:25,418 --> 00:45:26,898
Man, you ain’t Michael.
1152
00:45:27,072 --> 00:45:28,900
Michael got that Jheri curl.
1153
00:45:29,074 --> 00:45:30,902
What is that, son?
Is that shellac?
1154
00:45:31,076 --> 00:45:33,948
See, people think it’s shellac,
but it’s actually Sharpie.
1155
00:45:34,122 --> 00:45:35,558
Boy, your hair
looks like fondue.
1156
00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:36,951
Indoo-dy.
1157
00:45:37,125 --> 00:45:38,779
Michael’s got a monkey.
I got a llama.
1158
00:45:39,737 --> 00:45:40,520
[BLEATS]
1159
00:45:40,694 --> 00:45:42,130
Fuck Michael!
1160
00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:44,306
You can’t dance, boy.
I’ve been practicing.
1161
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,221
Oh! Whoa!
1162
00:45:46,395 --> 00:45:47,614
Jeez.
[WHOOPING]
1163
00:45:47,788 --> 00:45:48,876
[CRASHING]
1164
00:45:49,050 --> 00:45:50,269
Yeah!
[GRUNTING]
1165
00:45:50,443 --> 00:45:51,966
Bong! Ow!
[GROANS]
1166
00:45:52,140 --> 00:45:54,882
I can moonwalk.
Ooh, ooh.
1167
00:45:55,056 --> 00:45:56,101
Ooh.
1168
00:45:56,275 --> 00:45:58,016
Where is this nigga goin’?
1169
00:45:58,190 --> 00:45:59,931
[BABBLING]
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]
1170
00:46:00,105 --> 00:46:00,845
Ow! [GRUNTS]
1171
00:46:01,019 --> 00:46:03,021
[GRUNTING]
Whoo!
1172
00:46:03,195 --> 00:46:04,762
NARRATOR: "Jermaine".
1173
00:46:04,936 --> 00:46:06,720
[FUNKY MUSIC CONTINUES]
1174
00:46:06,894 --> 00:46:10,202
Coming Juneteenth,
only on Tubi.
1175
00:46:12,595 --> 00:46:14,510
[MUSIC STOPS]
I’ma bootleg that shit.
1176
00:46:14,684 --> 00:46:15,990
[DOOR CLOSES DISTANTLY]
1177
00:46:16,904 --> 00:46:18,036
Hello?
1178
00:46:19,341 --> 00:46:20,255
Fuck this.
1179
00:46:25,652 --> 00:46:27,306
I’m gonna miss you all.
1180
00:46:32,877 --> 00:46:34,400
Oh, hell no!
1181
00:46:34,574 --> 00:46:36,663
Think Black, don’t die.
Think Black, don’t die.
1182
00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:47,892
[GRUNTS]
Oh!
1183
00:46:48,066 --> 00:46:50,155
Goddamn it!Jack?
1184
00:46:50,329 --> 00:46:51,983
Did Sara tell you to come?
Um...
1185
00:46:52,157 --> 00:46:54,855
Yeah! That’s why I’m here.
1186
00:46:55,029 --> 00:46:58,032
Not to murder you
or anything like that.
1187
00:46:58,206 --> 00:46:59,555
Then why
are you wearing gloves?
1188
00:47:00,556 --> 00:47:02,428
Would you believe I...
1189
00:47:02,602 --> 00:47:05,779
am thinking about dressing up
as O.J. Simpson for Halloween?
1190
00:47:05,953 --> 00:47:07,389
But those fit.
1191
00:47:08,260 --> 00:47:09,609
Look out!
1192
00:47:09,783 --> 00:47:11,654
Not cool, bro,
you almost hit a vein.
1193
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:13,395
I-I mean--
Help!
1194
00:47:13,569 --> 00:47:14,483
[GHOSTFACE GRUNTS]
1195
00:47:15,267 --> 00:47:17,182
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1196
00:47:17,356 --> 00:47:18,400
JACK: [WHIMPERS]
Oh, yes!
1197
00:47:19,575 --> 00:47:20,794
[GRUNTS]
[PHONE CLANGS]
1198
00:47:20,968 --> 00:47:22,187
[GHOSTFACE GRUNTS]
1199
00:47:22,361 --> 00:47:23,579
Oh...
1200
00:47:23,753 --> 00:47:25,233
[MOANS]
[HISSING]
1201
00:47:25,407 --> 00:47:27,801
[COUGHS, WHEEZES]
1202
00:47:27,975 --> 00:47:32,023
GHOSTFACE: Whew. [COUGHS]
I’m gonna gut you like a pig!
1203
00:47:35,113 --> 00:47:36,462
[SNICKERS]
1204
00:47:36,636 --> 00:47:38,464
[ECHOING] I’m gonna...
[TUESDAY GIGGLES]
1205
00:47:38,638 --> 00:47:40,596
I’m gonna...
[LAUGHING]
1206
00:47:40,770 --> 00:47:42,337
[ECHOING]
What a stupid line.
1207
00:47:42,511 --> 00:47:44,252
[BOTH CACKLING]
1208
00:47:44,426 --> 00:47:45,906
GHOSTFACE: That is so true!
1209
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,778
What are you gonna do?
Turn me into bacon?
1210
00:47:48,953 --> 00:47:50,128
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1211
00:47:50,302 --> 00:47:51,956
[IMITATES GNAWING]
1212
00:47:52,130 --> 00:47:53,261
[BOTH CACKLING]
1213
00:47:53,435 --> 00:47:54,784
GHOSTFACE:
I got to get better writers.
1214
00:47:54,959 --> 00:47:57,396
I’m laughing so hard,
my ribs hurt.
1215
00:47:57,570 --> 00:48:00,747
GHOSTFACE: Wait until
I stick my knife in them!
1216
00:48:00,921 --> 00:48:02,967
[DISTORTED LAUGHTER]
1217
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,406
[GHOSTFACE BABBLES]
[DISTORTED LAUGHING]
1218
00:48:07,580 --> 00:48:09,712
GHOSTFACE:
I’m crying over here.
1219
00:48:09,887 --> 00:48:11,323
I got to go
1220
00:48:11,497 --> 00:48:13,412
before you really kill me.
[BREATHLESS] Here I come.
1221
00:48:13,586 --> 00:48:16,023
Oh, God,
I might die laughing first!
1222
00:48:16,197 --> 00:48:17,764
[CACKLES]
1223
00:48:17,938 --> 00:48:20,941
Oh. Oh, shit.
He’s really gonna kill me.
1224
00:48:37,305 --> 00:48:39,133
[TUESDAY STRAINING]
1225
00:48:39,699 --> 00:48:41,919
[WHEELS SQUEAKING]
1226
00:48:42,615 --> 00:48:44,704
I want what they’re on.
1227
00:48:45,313 --> 00:48:46,924
[GRUNTS]
1228
00:48:47,098 --> 00:48:49,578
GHOSTFACE: I’m gonna turn you
into bacon, little piggy.
1229
00:48:49,752 --> 00:48:50,797
[SCREAMS]
1230
00:48:52,407 --> 00:48:54,453
[TUESDAY WHIMPERING, SOBBING]
1231
00:48:56,020 --> 00:48:57,673
No, no.
1232
00:48:57,847 --> 00:48:59,501
No.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
1233
00:49:01,721 --> 00:49:03,201
I’m sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
1234
00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:04,506
I’m so sorry.
Out of our way!
1235
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,813
Step aside.
Official police business.
1236
00:49:06,987 --> 00:49:07,988
Doofy!
1237
00:49:08,162 --> 00:49:10,556
[CROWD GROANS]
I like doing that.
1238
00:49:10,730 --> 00:49:11,600
Ooh!
1239
00:49:12,601 --> 00:49:14,734
Smile, you son of a bitch.
1240
00:49:14,908 --> 00:49:17,911
GHOSTFACE: What the f...?
My psycho mother said
1241
00:49:18,085 --> 00:49:19,957
always keep a strap.
1242
00:49:21,654 --> 00:49:22,916
Go! Go!
Okay.
1243
00:49:23,090 --> 00:49:24,439
I’m gonna go get
your love interest.
1244
00:49:24,613 --> 00:49:25,963
I’ll get your love interest.
[TUESDAY MOANING]
1245
00:49:26,137 --> 00:49:29,270
Ow, the pain, the agony.
1246
00:49:29,444 --> 00:49:31,533
Sara, if I don’t make it...
1247
00:49:31,707 --> 00:49:34,058
Seriously, Tues,
stop trying to win an Oscar.
1248
00:49:34,232 --> 00:49:36,408
It’s a horror movie,
it’ll never happen.
1249
00:49:36,582 --> 00:49:38,584
Just ask Demi Moore.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
1250
00:49:38,758 --> 00:49:41,500
[GROANS] No! No!
1251
00:49:41,674 --> 00:49:43,067
[TUESDAY WHIMPERING]
I got him. I got Jack.
1252
00:49:43,241 --> 00:49:44,068
[JACK SIGHS]
1253
00:49:45,504 --> 00:49:47,506
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
Doofy! What the fuck?
1254
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:49,464
The fuck?
I can’t help myself.
1255
00:49:52,076 --> 00:49:54,252
It’s just me and you now,
Ghosty.
1256
00:49:54,426 --> 00:49:55,383
Hm.
1257
00:49:56,819 --> 00:49:58,691
You got to shoot them
in the head.
1258
00:49:58,865 --> 00:50:00,345
[WHISPERING]
Shoot them in the head.
1259
00:50:02,782 --> 00:50:05,132
[GHOSTFACE GRUNTS]
Oof. Ow.
1260
00:50:08,353 --> 00:50:10,572
GHOSTFACE: Die!
[WAILS]
1261
00:50:10,746 --> 00:50:12,357
GHOSTFACE:
Die, you little dumb dunce.
1262
00:50:12,531 --> 00:50:13,749
Smell...
1263
00:50:13,923 --> 00:50:14,968
my...
1264
00:50:15,708 --> 00:50:16,839
finger.
1265
00:50:17,753 --> 00:50:18,754
GHOSTFACE: Oh, God!
1266
00:50:18,928 --> 00:50:21,366
What the fuck was that? Ugh.
1267
00:50:21,540 --> 00:50:23,237
My ass.
1268
00:50:23,411 --> 00:50:25,457
GHOSTFACE:
Fuck your ass! Pause.
1269
00:50:25,631 --> 00:50:27,720
[GASPS, GRUNTS]
[STRAINS]
1270
00:50:27,894 --> 00:50:29,374
DOOFY: Oh, God,
that’s-- that’s my ass.
1271
00:50:29,548 --> 00:50:32,029
Oh, God. [GROANS]
GHOSTFACE: Any last words?
1272
00:50:32,203 --> 00:50:33,900
I go poopy.
1273
00:50:34,074 --> 00:50:35,336
[FARTS LOUDLY]
1274
00:50:35,510 --> 00:50:37,164
[DOOR CLICKS, CREAKS OPEN]
1275
00:50:37,338 --> 00:50:38,644
[GASPS]
1276
00:50:38,818 --> 00:50:41,342
Oh, hell no.
I ain’t cleaning up that shit!
1277
00:50:41,516 --> 00:50:43,127
I’m on break.
1278
00:50:43,301 --> 00:50:46,652
GHOSTFACE: Come on, I do the
killing, not the cleaning. Ugh.
1279
00:50:46,826 --> 00:50:48,828
What you say?
Never mind.
1280
00:50:49,002 --> 00:50:50,395
[AIRHORN]
Yo, what’s up, chat?
1281
00:50:50,569 --> 00:50:52,049
This your boy Shorty.
1282
00:50:52,223 --> 00:50:53,659
That’s right,
it’s another Halloween-a-thon.
1283
00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:56,749
And it’s another day
of me getting paid mad money
1284
00:50:56,923 --> 00:50:59,099
for doing absolutely nothing
1285
00:50:59,273 --> 00:51:00,883
while you stupid motherfuckers
watch.
1286
00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:03,538
[ALL CACKLING]
And they call me dumb!
1287
00:51:03,712 --> 00:51:06,715
I want to give a smooth
shout-out to my sponsor:
1288
00:51:06,889 --> 00:51:09,066
Angry Orchard Hard Cider.
1289
00:51:09,240 --> 00:51:10,371
[CRACKS CAN]
[SLURP]
1290
00:51:10,545 --> 00:51:12,939
They got mad apples, son.
1291
00:51:14,767 --> 00:51:16,116
[YELLING, LAUGHING]
1292
00:51:16,290 --> 00:51:19,119
We created a slogan!
I’m a marketing genius!
1293
00:51:19,293 --> 00:51:21,121
Aight. It wouldn’t be
a Halloween-a-thon
1294
00:51:21,295 --> 00:51:22,470
without a dope guest.
1295
00:51:22,644 --> 00:51:23,732
He’s a legend
in the streaming game.
1296
00:51:23,906 --> 00:51:26,866
Give it up for Kai Cenat!
1297
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,260
We gonna break the internet!
[CHEERING]
1298
00:51:29,434 --> 00:51:31,349
ALL:
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1299
00:51:31,523 --> 00:51:33,090
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1300
00:51:33,264 --> 00:51:35,309
[CHEERING, LAUGHING]
1301
00:51:35,483 --> 00:51:36,528
Let’s get serious.
1302
00:51:36,702 --> 00:51:38,573
What brings you to the chat?
1303
00:51:38,747 --> 00:51:40,314
You promised
I was gonna be in the movie.
1304
00:51:40,488 --> 00:51:43,274
I’ve been calling you.
You ghosted me.
1305
00:51:43,448 --> 00:51:46,015
Bro, I thought that was one
of my crazy-ass baby mamas.
1306
00:51:46,190 --> 00:51:47,539
That’s-- That’s my bad.
1307
00:51:47,713 --> 00:51:49,758
And speaking of ghosted--
[SCOFFS]
1308
00:51:49,932 --> 00:51:51,673
Somebody wants to talk to you.
1309
00:51:51,847 --> 00:51:53,284
[MOUTHING]
Hello?
1310
00:51:53,458 --> 00:51:55,112
GHOSTFACE: What’s your favorite
scary movie?
1311
00:51:55,286 --> 00:51:56,983
[ALL HOLLERING]
1312
00:51:57,157 --> 00:51:58,854
[LAUGHS] Nah!
Oh!
1313
00:51:59,028 --> 00:52:01,335
Oh, whoa, whoa!
Ah!
1314
00:52:02,075 --> 00:52:04,599
[ALL CHEERING]
1315
00:52:05,426 --> 00:52:07,994
[EXCITED CHATTER]
1316
00:52:08,168 --> 00:52:09,909
We breaking the internet, son!
1317
00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:11,171
What’s up, my guy?
1318
00:52:11,345 --> 00:52:12,520
GHOSTFACE:
You got some Angry Orchard
1319
00:52:12,694 --> 00:52:13,826
Hard Cider in the house?
You damn right.
1320
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,523
GHOSTFACE:
They got mad apples.
1321
00:52:15,697 --> 00:52:17,134
ALL: Oh!
1322
00:52:17,308 --> 00:52:18,396
Wassup?
1323
00:52:18,570 --> 00:52:20,049
Wassup?
1324
00:52:20,224 --> 00:52:22,226
[ALL YELLING EXCITEDLY]
1325
00:52:23,270 --> 00:52:24,837
We about to do
my favorite thing:
1326
00:52:25,011 --> 00:52:28,623
Spin the... wheel!
[CHEERING]
1327
00:52:28,797 --> 00:52:30,712
GROUP:
Extreme Noodle Game!
1328
00:52:30,886 --> 00:52:32,410
We gonna go back there
with these noodles
1329
00:52:32,584 --> 00:52:33,498
and we gonna smack
1330
00:52:33,672 --> 00:52:34,673
the fuck out you!
[CHUCKLES]
1331
00:52:34,847 --> 00:52:36,109
Then you gotta guess
who did it.
1332
00:52:36,283 --> 00:52:36,805
GHOSTFACE:
That doesn’t even make sense.
1333
00:52:36,979 --> 00:52:37,980
[GROUP CHANTING]
1334
00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:38,807
GHOSTFACE:
This is a dumb game.
1335
00:52:40,722 --> 00:52:41,767
[CHEERING]
GHOSTFACE: Oh!
1336
00:52:41,941 --> 00:52:42,898
Uh...
1337
00:52:43,682 --> 00:52:44,509
Kai. Kai.
Man, what?
1338
00:52:44,683 --> 00:52:45,423
Yeah.
[MEN CACKLING]
1339
00:52:45,597 --> 00:52:48,513
[GROUP CHANTING]
1340
00:52:48,687 --> 00:52:50,384
[GHOSTFACE GRUNTS]
1341
00:52:50,558 --> 00:52:51,516
[METALLIC SCRAPE]
1342
00:52:51,690 --> 00:52:53,866
Wait-- No, no, no--
[ALL YELL]
1343
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,173
[GHOSTFACE CHANTING]
1344
00:52:56,347 --> 00:53:00,351
You just killed Kai Cenat.
On the chat.
1345
00:53:00,525 --> 00:53:01,656
[FIREWORKS BURSTING]
1346
00:53:01,830 --> 00:53:03,267
We making history, son!
1347
00:53:03,441 --> 00:53:04,355
[ALL CHEERING]
1348
00:53:04,529 --> 00:53:05,617
[SINGING] Money, money, money!
1349
00:53:13,799 --> 00:53:15,714
[DISTANT SIRENS WAILING]
1350
00:53:25,202 --> 00:53:26,594
Oh, thank God.
1351
00:53:29,684 --> 00:53:30,903
[SIRENS STOP]
1352
00:53:31,077 --> 00:53:32,513
MAN: It’s about time
you guys got here!
1353
00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:35,037
Now you’re gonna get it.
1354
00:53:35,821 --> 00:53:36,865
[COPS GRUNT]Oof!
1355
00:53:37,039 --> 00:53:38,127
[COPS GRUNTING]
1356
00:53:38,302 --> 00:53:39,781
COP: Hold still!
[BLOWS LAND]
1357
00:53:39,955 --> 00:53:41,653
So that’s our suspect.
[BEATING CONTINUES, MUFFLED]
1358
00:53:41,827 --> 00:53:44,351
Goes by the name "Shorthand".Hmm.
1359
00:53:44,525 --> 00:53:48,399
Was the handyman at a house
reputed to be haunted in 2001.
1360
00:53:49,530 --> 00:53:50,923
Is there anything
you’re not telling me?
1361
00:53:51,097 --> 00:53:52,968
That your wife hates you
1362
00:53:53,142 --> 00:53:54,709
you believe the Earth is flat
1363
00:53:54,883 --> 00:53:56,842
and you voted for Trump
three times.
1364
00:53:57,016 --> 00:53:59,192
[STAMMERS] What, I was supposed
to vote for the woman?
1365
00:53:59,366 --> 00:54:00,715
Huh?
1366
00:54:00,889 --> 00:54:04,241
I believe Shorthand
is the notorious Ghostface.
1367
00:54:04,415 --> 00:54:05,677
[BEATING, SHOUTING
CONTINUES, MUFFLED]
1368
00:54:05,851 --> 00:54:07,896
What that mouth do?
1369
00:54:08,070 --> 00:54:09,463
Stop resisting!
[COP GRUNTS]
1370
00:54:09,637 --> 00:54:11,726
He did look pretty sketchy.
[BLOWS LANDING]
1371
00:54:11,900 --> 00:54:13,859
[BEATING CONTINUES]
1372
00:54:14,033 --> 00:54:15,295
[GROANING]
[THUDS]
1373
00:54:15,469 --> 00:54:17,384
They got the wrong guy.
[BEATING CONTINUES]
1374
00:54:17,558 --> 00:54:19,256
And you know that
because you’re psychic?
1375
00:54:19,430 --> 00:54:21,345
No, says so
on the arrest warrant.
1376
00:54:23,869 --> 00:54:25,131
I don’t know.
[BEATING CONTINUES]
1377
00:54:25,305 --> 00:54:27,394
That guy’s Black.
Nah, he’s kinda...
1378
00:54:27,568 --> 00:54:28,874
not that Black.
1379
00:54:29,048 --> 00:54:30,571
[COP SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]
Like gravy brown.
1380
00:54:30,745 --> 00:54:32,138
[GRUNTS]
Ugh!
1381
00:54:32,312 --> 00:54:33,835
Get him!
1382
00:54:34,009 --> 00:54:35,533
Hit him with your strong hand!
[BEATING CONTINUES]
1383
00:54:35,707 --> 00:54:37,143
[GRUNTS] Boom!
1384
00:54:37,317 --> 00:54:39,972
Arrest him anyways.
Probably did something, right?
1385
00:54:40,929 --> 00:54:42,496
Turn off your body cams!
1386
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,325
Miss Hailstorm, welcome back.
1387
00:54:45,499 --> 00:54:48,372
Doc, I’m begging you.
You got to help me look younger.
1388
00:54:48,546 --> 00:54:50,025
These little bitches
are killing me out there.
1389
00:54:50,199 --> 00:54:51,244
They’re wearing nothing but a--
1390
00:54:51,418 --> 00:54:53,377
a sausage casing
and a ring light.
1391
00:54:53,551 --> 00:54:57,816
Trust me with this withered,
decrepit, age-ravaged body,
1392
00:54:57,990 --> 00:55:00,079
and I will make you whole.
1393
00:55:00,253 --> 00:55:01,515
One Middle-Aged
White Lady Special
1394
00:55:01,689 --> 00:55:03,169
coming right up.
Thanks.
1395
00:55:03,343 --> 00:55:04,475
I’m gonna play a quick video
1396
00:55:04,649 --> 00:55:05,867
on the ins and outs
of the procedure,
1397
00:55:06,041 --> 00:55:08,217
and then we’ll get started.
[CHUCKLES]
1398
00:55:10,219 --> 00:55:11,830
[HEAVY ELECTRONIC
MUSIC PLAYING]
1399
00:55:12,004 --> 00:55:14,746
NARRATOR: Do you wish
you weren’t so old and saggy?
1400
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,401
Do you wish you were younger?
Sexier?
1401
00:55:17,575 --> 00:55:19,141
Fuckable again?
1402
00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:22,580
One single injection
unlocks your DNA,
1403
00:55:22,754 --> 00:55:25,452
creating a new, better you.
1404
00:55:26,192 --> 00:55:28,412
This is The Stuff.
1405
00:55:28,586 --> 00:55:29,848
[MUSIC BLARES, CUTS]
1406
00:55:30,022 --> 00:55:32,154
Doc, this isn’t that
Gwyneth Paltrow crap
1407
00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:34,243
that makes you
smell like her vag, is it?
1408
00:55:36,724 --> 00:55:38,160
["BRAND NEW"
BY ALIYA’S INTERLUDE PLAYS]
1409
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:39,205
I like it.
1410
00:55:42,121 --> 00:55:42,991
[YELPS]
1411
00:55:44,558 --> 00:55:45,907
[PAINED SHOUT]
1412
00:55:47,387 --> 00:55:48,736
♪ I feel...♪
1413
00:55:48,910 --> 00:55:50,521
[LIPS POP]
♪ Brand fucking new♪
1414
00:55:50,695 --> 00:55:51,435
♪ New♪
1415
00:55:51,609 --> 00:55:52,697
♪ New♪
1416
00:55:52,871 --> 00:55:54,351
♪ Brand fucking new♪
1417
00:55:55,700 --> 00:55:57,571
Wow, that’s a lot of Stuff.
1418
00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:00,574
Oh, a mask on a mask.
1419
00:56:01,270 --> 00:56:02,794
Safety first, right, Doc?
1420
00:56:03,534 --> 00:56:04,752
[PAINED SHOUT, GASPS]
1421
00:56:04,926 --> 00:56:06,841
[WHIMPERS] Oh, no!
1422
00:56:07,015 --> 00:56:08,060
[GASPS]
1423
00:56:08,234 --> 00:56:10,018
I’m having second thoughts!
1424
00:56:10,192 --> 00:56:12,325
I’m gonna love
and accept myself as I am.
1425
00:56:13,108 --> 00:56:14,153
[SCREAMS]
1426
00:56:14,327 --> 00:56:15,720
["BRAND NEW" CONTINUES]
1427
00:56:15,894 --> 00:56:17,243
[GASPS, GRUNTS]
♪ I feel♪
1428
00:56:17,417 --> 00:56:19,071
♪ Brand fucking new♪
[GRUNTS]
1429
00:56:19,245 --> 00:56:20,899
[AGONIZED GROANING]
1430
00:56:21,073 --> 00:56:24,206
[WHIMPERING, GROANING]
1431
00:56:26,121 --> 00:56:28,123
[BURBLING]
1432
00:56:30,735 --> 00:56:32,301
[LOW GURGLING]
1433
00:56:33,346 --> 00:56:34,913
[PAINED GROAN]
1434
00:56:46,403 --> 00:56:47,360
[DISTANT ECHOING SCREAM]
1435
00:56:47,534 --> 00:56:49,493
[REVERBERATING TONES]
1436
00:56:51,495 --> 00:56:53,453
[HIGH-PITCHED RINGING]
[MUFFLED BREATHING]
1437
00:57:15,823 --> 00:57:17,651
Oops. Wrong movie.
1438
00:57:17,825 --> 00:57:19,827
[GIGGLES]
1439
00:57:20,001 --> 00:57:22,308
You were thinking it.
GHOSTFACE: But you said it.
1440
00:57:23,527 --> 00:57:25,442
White Chicks 2,my ass.
1441
00:57:25,616 --> 00:57:27,008
["BRAND NEW" CONTINUES]
♪ I feel♪
1442
00:57:27,182 --> 00:57:28,357
♪ Brand fucking new♪
[NEEDLE CLATTERS]
1443
00:57:28,532 --> 00:57:29,576
♪ New♪
[SNEAKERS SQUEAKING]
1444
00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:32,492
♪ I feel brand fucking new♪
1445
00:57:33,972 --> 00:57:35,582
CINDY:
Hey, Sara.
1446
00:57:36,757 --> 00:57:38,237
[SIGHS] Tuesday, I--
1447
00:57:38,411 --> 00:57:40,282
I tried to visit you.
1448
00:57:40,457 --> 00:57:42,763
I am sorry for everything.
1449
00:57:42,937 --> 00:57:44,722
Especially your name.
1450
00:57:44,896 --> 00:57:47,464
It was Taco Tuesday.
I was super drunk.
1451
00:57:47,638 --> 00:57:51,293
But I promise you,
I will kill this motherfucker!
1452
00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:52,730
It’s fine, really, we’re cool.
JACK: I’m gonna--
1453
00:57:52,904 --> 00:57:54,122
I’ll pull the car around.
We’re good.
1454
00:57:54,296 --> 00:57:55,776
I’m going to take you
to the car!
1455
00:57:55,950 --> 00:57:58,300
I got stabbed.
I’m not deaf, you dumbass!
1456
00:57:58,475 --> 00:58:00,955
I’m taking Tues away
from all of this!
1457
00:58:01,956 --> 00:58:03,131
Oh...
Come on, Cindy.
1458
00:58:04,002 --> 00:58:06,004
I tried to run, too, but...
1459
00:58:06,178 --> 00:58:08,615
it follows!
1460
00:58:08,789 --> 00:58:11,400
Now you’re probably expecting
a flashback to that movie,
1461
00:58:11,575 --> 00:58:13,881
but it’s too obscure.
Yeah, and the plot is weird.
1462
00:58:14,055 --> 00:58:16,275
You have sex with someone,
give them a STD
1463
00:58:16,449 --> 00:58:17,537
and then it haunts them
in the form
1464
00:58:17,711 --> 00:58:18,538
of their naked grandma.
1465
00:58:18,712 --> 00:58:20,845
It’s like a STD biopic.
1466
00:58:21,019 --> 00:58:22,194
Ugh, the killer is taunting me.
1467
00:58:22,368 --> 00:58:23,761
Why doesn’t he just kill us?
1468
00:58:23,935 --> 00:58:25,327
Uh, speak for yourself.
1469
00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:27,199
Like, what are you waiting for?
1470
00:58:27,373 --> 00:58:30,463
Oh, no, no, no, sweetie,
sweetie. It’s like this.
1471
00:58:31,769 --> 00:58:34,989
What are you waiting for, huh?
1472
00:58:35,163 --> 00:58:37,862
What are you waiting for?
1473
00:58:38,036 --> 00:58:40,560
What are you waiting for?
1474
00:58:40,734 --> 00:58:42,344
What are you waiting for?
1475
00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:44,042
God, I wish
you weren’t my mother!
1476
00:58:44,216 --> 00:58:46,827
What are you waiting for?
1477
00:58:47,001 --> 00:58:48,220
[GROANS]
1478
00:58:48,394 --> 00:58:49,395
SHORTY: Candyman.
1479
00:58:50,265 --> 00:58:51,528
Candyman.
1480
00:58:52,354 --> 00:58:54,052
Candyman.
1481
00:58:54,226 --> 00:58:57,229
You sure about this?
FRIEND: Yeah, keep saying it.
1482
00:58:58,360 --> 00:58:59,536
Candyman.
1483
00:59:00,754 --> 00:59:02,713
Candyman! [GASPS]
[BOOM]
1484
00:59:02,887 --> 00:59:05,237
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[SHORTY YELPS, WHIMPERS]
1485
00:59:05,411 --> 00:59:07,413
[THUNDER ROLLING]
[ELECTRICITY BUZZES SOFTLY]
1486
00:59:14,289 --> 00:59:16,248
[WHIMPERS]
1487
00:59:19,817 --> 00:59:21,906
So what’s up?
You got that candy, man?
1488
00:59:22,820 --> 00:59:25,083
I got weed gummies.
SHORTY: Yeah.
1489
00:59:25,257 --> 00:59:26,606
K-nuts.
SHORTY: Yeah.
1490
00:59:26,780 --> 00:59:28,303
Shroom chocolates.
SHORTY: [GIGGLES] Shit, son!
1491
00:59:28,477 --> 00:59:30,392
And what take you so long
to show up?
1492
00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:33,308
Come on, Clarence.
I called you five times.
1493
00:59:33,482 --> 00:59:34,962
Nigga, show up in three.
1494
00:59:35,136 --> 00:59:36,921
You ain’t even call me
on the phone.
1495
00:59:37,095 --> 00:59:38,487
Luckily I was walking by
1496
00:59:38,662 --> 00:59:40,620
and heard y’all
through the hole in this wall.
1497
00:59:40,794 --> 00:59:43,362
And fix that shit.
You shut your ass up.
1498
00:59:43,536 --> 00:59:46,060
You need to go
to a proctologist and get your skin looked at.
1499
00:59:46,234 --> 00:59:49,411
Having acne over
the age of 40 is wild work.
1500
00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:51,631
I look better than this nigga.
Maybe on this side.
1501
00:59:51,805 --> 00:59:54,242
Hey, ain’t no time for beefing.
We about to be high as fuck.
1502
00:59:54,416 --> 00:59:56,505
We gonna party, son!
[CACKLES, SCREAMS]
1503
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:58,812
["WORK"
BY JAKOB CAMPBELL PLAYS]
1504
00:59:58,986 --> 01:00:00,945
♪ Coming in hot
They better watch it...♪ Happy Halloween, y’all.
1505
01:00:01,119 --> 01:00:02,424
Watch out for Ghostface.
♪ If they come For my spot...♪
1506
01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:05,123
That’s right. Drink up!
GIRL: Hey!
1507
01:00:05,297 --> 01:00:07,995
Hey! I love it. Look at that.
1508
01:00:08,169 --> 01:00:09,431
You’re looking good.
1509
01:00:09,606 --> 01:00:10,955
You seen your sister?
1510
01:00:11,129 --> 01:00:13,131
♪ You always better♪
[SIGHS]
1511
01:00:13,305 --> 01:00:15,394
♪ When you at the top
But I had...♪ BRENDA: Ray, you seen Dei?
1512
01:00:15,568 --> 01:00:17,526
I-I can’t find her since
she went to that protest.
1513
01:00:18,223 --> 01:00:19,920
No.
[SIGHS]
1514
01:00:21,139 --> 01:00:24,577
Ray, let me guess.
You are Woody from Toy Story!
1515
01:00:24,751 --> 01:00:26,753
Nah, Brenda, that’s gay.Oh.
1516
01:00:26,927 --> 01:00:29,756
Jake Gyllenhaal
from Brokeback Mountain.
1517
01:00:29,930 --> 01:00:32,890
"I wish I knew how to quit you,
but I can’t."
1518
01:00:33,804 --> 01:00:35,980
You love that movie!
1519
01:00:36,154 --> 01:00:37,590
Hey, Brenda!
Huh?
1520
01:00:37,764 --> 01:00:39,679
[STAMMERS] Have you seen
my big old bag of candy?
1521
01:00:39,853 --> 01:00:42,769
It had chocolates,
gummies, lollipops.
1522
01:00:43,422 --> 01:00:44,423
I-It’s gone missing.
1523
01:00:44,597 --> 01:00:45,816
No, no, no, it’s not missing.
1524
01:00:45,990 --> 01:00:47,731
I passed it out
to the trick-or-treaters.
1525
01:00:47,905 --> 01:00:51,125
Brenda, that’s my stash!
[GASPS]
1526
01:00:51,299 --> 01:00:53,519
[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
1527
01:01:00,482 --> 01:01:01,875
[CHILD LAUGHS]
1528
01:01:02,049 --> 01:01:05,662
[ECHOING] I’m so fucking high!
1529
01:01:08,752 --> 01:01:09,753
Whoo-hoo!
1530
01:01:09,927 --> 01:01:12,669
[ECHOING] I can’t feel my face!
1531
01:01:14,932 --> 01:01:18,849
[ECHOING]
I’m on that Naruto shit!
1532
01:01:19,763 --> 01:01:23,462
[ECHOING]
Six-seven! Six-seven!
1533
01:01:23,636 --> 01:01:25,203
[ENGINE REVS, HORN HONKS]
[SCREAMS]
1534
01:01:25,377 --> 01:01:27,205
[ECHOING SCREAM]
1535
01:01:27,379 --> 01:01:29,381
[TRAIN RUMBLING]
1536
01:01:45,266 --> 01:01:46,398
[SOFT GASP]
1537
01:01:48,748 --> 01:01:50,358
[WHISPERING] Fuck.
1538
01:01:54,319 --> 01:01:57,278
[FAINT, ECHOING CHILD’S VOICE]
1539
01:01:58,279 --> 01:01:59,672
Why is she looking at me?
1540
01:01:59,846 --> 01:02:01,282
["STILL OUTSIDE"
BY BIG BOSS VETTE PLAYS]
1541
01:02:01,456 --> 01:02:02,327
♪ Fucking with a boss, yeah
It costs ya♪
1542
01:02:02,501 --> 01:02:04,372
A little disturbing.
1543
01:02:04,546 --> 01:02:05,852
I’m here for it.
1544
01:02:06,026 --> 01:02:07,462
♪ Yeah
It’s all there♪
1545
01:02:07,636 --> 01:02:08,594
♪ Bend it over
Touch your paws, yeah♪
1546
01:02:08,768 --> 01:02:09,464
♪ Make it talk, yeah♪
1547
01:02:09,638 --> 01:02:11,031
Oh. Okay.
1548
01:02:11,205 --> 01:02:13,251
♪ Make that ass jump
Uh-huh♪
1549
01:02:13,425 --> 01:02:14,295
♪ Make that ass jump♪
Hey, hey!
1550
01:02:14,469 --> 01:02:15,819
♪ You better♪
1551
01:02:15,993 --> 01:02:17,603
♪ You better
Make that ass jump♪
1552
01:02:17,777 --> 01:02:19,561
♪ My nigga sleep so you know
I’m outside tho♪
1553
01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:21,389
♪ Jet skis ass out
Crop top hoe--♪
1554
01:02:21,563 --> 01:02:23,130
Hey!
1555
01:02:23,304 --> 01:02:26,655
Do you know how many baby seals
die from microplastics?
1556
01:02:34,315 --> 01:02:35,229
Shit.
1557
01:02:35,403 --> 01:02:36,970
GHOSTFACE: It’s Ghostface!
1558
01:02:37,144 --> 01:02:38,450
[GASPS]
1559
01:02:38,624 --> 01:02:40,365
[STABBING]
[GRUNTS, YELPS]
1560
01:02:41,714 --> 01:02:43,368
Oh, my God! He stabbed her!
1561
01:02:43,542 --> 01:02:46,458
Not "her".
My pronouns are "they/them".
1562
01:02:46,632 --> 01:02:48,329
He stabbed "them"!
1563
01:02:48,503 --> 01:02:51,028
I’m over 40. How am I supposed
to keep up with all of this?
1564
01:02:51,202 --> 01:02:52,203
GHOSTFACE: She’s not wrong.
1565
01:02:52,377 --> 01:02:54,031
It’s Karens like you
1566
01:02:54,205 --> 01:02:57,512
that keep the patriarchy going,
with their knees on our necks!
1567
01:02:57,686 --> 01:03:00,211
Now you’re playing
the race card?
1568
01:03:00,385 --> 01:03:02,909
I’ve had enough of her shit.
"Their" shit, bitch!
1569
01:03:05,085 --> 01:03:05,869
[YELPS]
1570
01:03:06,043 --> 01:03:07,044
And to be clear,
1571
01:03:07,218 --> 01:03:09,786
my real name is Karen!
[STABBING]
1572
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:11,788
GHOSTFACE:
Oh, shit. This is too good.
1573
01:03:11,962 --> 01:03:13,528
Ignore the insults.
1574
01:03:13,702 --> 01:03:15,704
"They" don’t realize
we’re here to help "them".
1575
01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:17,445
Toxic masculinity
1576
01:03:17,619 --> 01:03:20,231
and mansplaining
doesn’t help anybody!
1577
01:03:20,405 --> 01:03:22,146
How is my masculinity toxic?
1578
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:23,930
I love women and sports.
1579
01:03:24,104 --> 01:03:26,759
Just not together.
Come here, bitch.
1580
01:03:26,933 --> 01:03:28,587
[STABS]
MAN: My turn!
1581
01:03:28,761 --> 01:03:30,110
MAN 2: Me next!
MAN 3: They ain’t ready for
1582
01:03:30,284 --> 01:03:31,242
this!
[WHIMPERS]
1583
01:03:31,416 --> 01:03:32,373
MAN 4: Let me at them!
Me next!
1584
01:03:32,547 --> 01:03:33,331
Fuck your pronouns.
Oh, shit.
1585
01:03:33,505 --> 01:03:34,767
Suck knife.
[GRUNTS]
1586
01:03:34,941 --> 01:03:37,030
[AGONIZED MOAN]
1587
01:03:37,204 --> 01:03:38,249
[THUDS]
1588
01:03:38,423 --> 01:03:40,164
GHOSTFACE:
I blame the manosphere.
1589
01:03:40,338 --> 01:03:41,556
♪ Hit the bar
Rock side-to-side♪
1590
01:03:41,730 --> 01:03:43,471
♪ And lean in a bit♪
1591
01:03:43,645 --> 01:03:44,733
♪ Shining like a star
’Cause every night...♪
1592
01:03:44,908 --> 01:03:46,692
Uncle Shorty.
What’s up, nephew?
1593
01:03:46,866 --> 01:03:48,433
Can I ask you something?
1594
01:03:48,955 --> 01:03:50,217
Yeah, shoot.
1595
01:03:51,305 --> 01:03:53,177
It’s about, y-you know
1596
01:03:53,351 --> 01:03:54,918
how to go down on a girl.
1597
01:03:55,744 --> 01:03:56,789
You talking about eating pussy?
1598
01:03:56,963 --> 01:03:59,574
That’s so cringe, but yeah.
1599
01:03:59,748 --> 01:04:02,534
Well, maybe if you stop talking
like a 14-year-old white girl
1600
01:04:02,708 --> 01:04:04,188
you could learn something.
1601
01:04:04,362 --> 01:04:05,667
All right, so listen up.
1602
01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:07,191
First thing you got to do,
you got to--
1603
01:04:07,365 --> 01:04:08,932
You got to spread them legs.
You got to open it up.
1604
01:04:09,106 --> 01:04:10,716
Then you want
to use your fingers.
1605
01:04:10,890 --> 01:04:13,632
Sometimes you can use two.
Two fingers, like that there.
1606
01:04:13,806 --> 01:04:14,981
Yeah?
1607
01:04:15,155 --> 01:04:16,853
Now, once you get it
all in there, now...
1608
01:04:17,636 --> 01:04:18,985
you got to use your tongue.
1609
01:04:19,159 --> 01:04:20,421
You can’t be afraid of it.
1610
01:04:20,595 --> 01:04:23,555
[MOANING, GRUNTING]
1611
01:04:23,729 --> 01:04:25,252
Yeah, lean into it.
1612
01:04:25,426 --> 01:04:26,775
Nah, nah, nah,
you doing it too fast.
1613
01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:28,125
[GABBLES]
1614
01:04:28,299 --> 01:04:29,561
What are you, a lizard?
1615
01:04:29,735 --> 01:04:31,519
You got to be gentle.
You got to talk to it.
1616
01:04:31,693 --> 01:04:33,086
"Hey there, little guy,
1617
01:04:33,260 --> 01:04:34,871
how you doing?"
[SOFTLY] Hey there, little guy.
1618
01:04:35,828 --> 01:04:38,265
Boom!
Just like rolling a blunt.
1619
01:04:38,439 --> 01:04:40,267
All you got to do, nephew...
1620
01:04:43,923 --> 01:04:45,403
[BREATHLESSLY]
Is hit that shit.
1621
01:04:46,099 --> 01:04:47,448
Got it?
Mm-hmm.
1622
01:04:47,622 --> 01:04:49,015
All right, now
1623
01:04:49,189 --> 01:04:52,627
if you want to learn
to lick ass, ask your mama.
1624
01:04:52,801 --> 01:04:54,803
[ELLE MOANING]
[LOUD KISSING]
1625
01:04:54,978 --> 01:04:57,502
ELLE: You feel so good.
1626
01:04:57,676 --> 01:04:58,895
[MOANING]
1627
01:04:59,069 --> 01:05:00,157
Oh, yeah.
1628
01:05:00,331 --> 01:05:01,854
Elle.
1629
01:05:02,028 --> 01:05:03,464
I want to try something.
1630
01:05:03,638 --> 01:05:05,684
I-I thought you said
you’d never let me peg you.
1631
01:05:05,858 --> 01:05:07,381
What? No. [SCOFFS]
1632
01:05:07,555 --> 01:05:08,948
Relax.
1633
01:05:09,122 --> 01:05:10,558
I just want to taste you.
1634
01:05:10,732 --> 01:05:12,386
[CHUCKLES]
1635
01:05:13,213 --> 01:05:14,388
Okay.
1636
01:05:14,562 --> 01:05:15,694
[BELL TINKLES]
1637
01:05:15,868 --> 01:05:17,478
Dinner time. [CHUCKLES]
1638
01:05:17,652 --> 01:05:20,090
Oh, yeah, come here, baby.
1639
01:05:21,221 --> 01:05:22,962
[MOANING]
[BRAD MOANING]
1640
01:05:23,136 --> 01:05:25,312
Careful. My kitty is gangster.
[SLAP]
1641
01:05:25,486 --> 01:05:27,184
Oh! [CHUCKLING] Oh...
1642
01:05:27,358 --> 01:05:29,490
It is gangster. Okay.
1643
01:05:29,664 --> 01:05:32,276
Slapped you so hard,
you want some more. Yeah!
1644
01:05:32,450 --> 01:05:34,234
[GASPING]
1645
01:05:34,408 --> 01:05:36,019
[ELLE MOANS]
[GRUNTS, GABBLES]
1646
01:05:36,193 --> 01:05:37,498
Oh!
1647
01:05:37,672 --> 01:05:40,414
You feel so much better
than Darrel and them.
1648
01:05:40,588 --> 01:05:41,546
Choo-choo!
[GRUNTING]
1649
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:42,721
Get back in there!
1650
01:05:42,895 --> 01:05:44,114
Yeah! Lick it!
[SLURPING]
1651
01:05:44,288 --> 01:05:46,507
[ROARING] Yeah! Lick it hard!
1652
01:05:46,681 --> 01:05:47,639
[GRUNTS]
1653
01:05:47,813 --> 01:05:48,988
[DEEP VOICE] Finish her.
1654
01:05:49,162 --> 01:05:50,642
[MOANING]
1655
01:05:50,816 --> 01:05:53,906
Oh, my God!
[SLURPING, GABBLING]
1656
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:56,169
[BOTH PANTING]
1657
01:05:56,343 --> 01:05:57,910
Just like rolling a blunt.
1658
01:05:58,084 --> 01:05:58,955
[ELLE MOANS]
1659
01:05:59,129 --> 01:06:01,044
Now all I got to do is hit it.
1660
01:06:02,306 --> 01:06:03,437
[SIZZLES]
[SCREAMS]
1661
01:06:03,611 --> 01:06:05,222
Oh-- Oof!
1662
01:06:05,396 --> 01:06:06,658
Elle!
[KNOCKING]
1663
01:06:09,008 --> 01:06:10,314
What the fuck?
1664
01:06:10,488 --> 01:06:12,969
Hey there. We heard tell
of a Halloween party.
1665
01:06:13,621 --> 01:06:14,796
You did now, did you?
1666
01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:16,102
We’re here to drink,
1667
01:06:16,276 --> 01:06:18,452
play bad music,
do some half gay shit.
1668
01:06:19,279 --> 01:06:20,498
Why just half gay?
1669
01:06:21,325 --> 01:06:22,195
Can I help you?
1670
01:06:22,369 --> 01:06:24,458
If you just invite us in.
1671
01:06:24,632 --> 01:06:26,069
Why you need a invitation?
1672
01:06:26,243 --> 01:06:27,809
White folks show up
to parties uninvited
1673
01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:30,334
all the time with their little
nasty-ass casseroles.
1674
01:06:30,508 --> 01:06:32,684
Bland as shit. Y’all better
start using some Lawry’s.
1675
01:06:32,858 --> 01:06:35,121
Mm-hmm.
And why she got them dirty-ass feet?
1676
01:06:35,295 --> 01:06:37,950
Look like you
was walking around porn sets all day.
1677
01:06:38,124 --> 01:06:39,256
Got them trailer park toes.
1678
01:06:39,430 --> 01:06:41,040
[GIGGLES] Shit, son!
1679
01:06:41,214 --> 01:06:43,695
I think you’re in
the wrong place. Y’all Klan?
1680
01:06:44,783 --> 01:06:45,871
No. [CHUCKLES]
1681
01:06:46,045 --> 01:06:48,743
We believe in music
and equality.
1682
01:06:48,917 --> 01:06:50,136
How about we show y’all?
1683
01:06:50,310 --> 01:06:52,356
It’s okay, no.
[GENTLE COUNTRY MUSIC]
1684
01:06:52,530 --> 01:06:54,706
♪ Well, we’re movin’ on up♪
♪ Movin’ on up♪
1685
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:58,449
♪ To the East Side♪
♪ Movin’ on up♪
1686
01:06:58,623 --> 01:07:00,625
♪ To a deluxe apartment♪
♪ Ooh♪
1687
01:07:00,799 --> 01:07:02,844
♪ In the sky♪
♪ Ooh♪
1688
01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:04,498
♪ We’re movin’ on up♪
1689
01:07:04,672 --> 01:07:06,500
They gentrified the Jeffersons?
1690
01:07:06,674 --> 01:07:08,676
Weezy’s rolling around
in her grave right now.
1691
01:07:08,850 --> 01:07:11,636
You can’t do this
to the Black National Anthem.
1692
01:07:11,810 --> 01:07:15,770
♪ We finally got
A piece of the pie!♪
1693
01:07:17,468 --> 01:07:18,904
[SIGHS]
[PANTS]
1694
01:07:19,078 --> 01:07:20,471
BOTH: Boo!
[YELPING]
1695
01:07:20,645 --> 01:07:22,429
Nigga, you suck!
Boo your ass!
1696
01:07:22,603 --> 01:07:24,562
We worked hard on this!
Take that bullshit out of here!
1697
01:07:24,736 --> 01:07:26,172
We ain’t got time
for that dumb shit!
1698
01:07:26,346 --> 01:07:28,044
Why won’t ya just go
to one of those frat parties
1699
01:07:28,218 --> 01:07:29,697
where they drink until
they black out
1700
01:07:29,871 --> 01:07:31,308
and wake up
with their booties hurting,
1701
01:07:31,482 --> 01:07:33,484
not knowing what someone
in a cowboy hat did to them?
1702
01:07:33,658 --> 01:07:34,833
Yeah! What?
1703
01:07:35,007 --> 01:07:36,139
JACK: Okay.
1704
01:07:36,313 --> 01:07:38,054
Well, we will leave
you guys alone.
1705
01:07:38,228 --> 01:07:39,446
But we’re gonna walk real slow
1706
01:07:39,620 --> 01:07:41,927
just in case
y’all change your minds.
1707
01:07:42,101 --> 01:07:42,971
[CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFS]
1708
01:07:44,234 --> 01:07:45,974
Change your minds yet?
BOTH: No.
1709
01:07:46,149 --> 01:07:47,063
Not at all.
Hell no.
1710
01:07:47,237 --> 01:07:48,455
How about now?
1711
01:07:48,629 --> 01:07:50,240
Fuck no!
No!
1712
01:07:50,414 --> 01:07:51,415
Yes?
Hell to the nah.
1713
01:07:51,589 --> 01:07:52,764
Definitely not!
Keep walking!
1714
01:07:52,938 --> 01:07:54,113
RAY: Now git!
SARA: Let’s go.
1715
01:07:54,287 --> 01:07:55,419
TUESDAY: Sara, come on!
White folks
1716
01:07:55,593 --> 01:07:57,377
is getting weird again.
[BRENDA GROANS]
1717
01:07:59,858 --> 01:08:02,165
Guys, I think I saw
an open window over here.
1718
01:08:02,339 --> 01:08:03,427
That window’s closed.
1719
01:08:03,601 --> 01:08:05,168
Not for long.
1720
01:08:05,342 --> 01:08:09,172
[VOCALIZES "DEFYING GRAVITY"
FROM "WICKED"]
1721
01:08:09,346 --> 01:08:11,174
[GLASS SHATTERS]
1722
01:08:11,348 --> 01:08:12,392
Wicked.
1723
01:08:12,566 --> 01:08:13,915
Oh, God. Fucking idiots.
1724
01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:15,308
["BAD TO THE BONE"
BY RUBY X PAPATINHO PLAYS]
1725
01:08:15,482 --> 01:08:17,484
♪ Bad, bad, bad to the bone♪
1726
01:08:17,658 --> 01:08:19,399
♪ We can play
But you can’t take me home♪
1727
01:08:19,573 --> 01:08:20,879
♪ Bad, bad shows off the...♪
1728
01:08:21,053 --> 01:08:25,013
Hey! Tuesday! You came back!
1729
01:08:25,188 --> 01:08:27,190
Yeah, I left my inhaler.
1730
01:08:27,364 --> 01:08:30,193
Honestly, Tuesday,
that inhaler is the worst plot device in movie history.
1731
01:08:30,367 --> 01:08:31,890
That’s true,
should’ve been a vape.
1732
01:08:32,064 --> 01:08:34,458
But we’re here now,
so let’s make the most of it.
1733
01:08:34,632 --> 01:08:36,808
Now where them White Claws at?
1734
01:08:36,982 --> 01:08:38,636
[SHRIEKS, WHOOPS]
[PHONE RINGING]
1735
01:08:41,726 --> 01:08:43,467
CINDY: Sara?
Hello.
1736
01:08:43,641 --> 01:08:46,905
Get your sister and get out
of there right now. Okay, hon?
1737
01:08:47,079 --> 01:08:49,777
I am a grown-ass woman, Mother.
1738
01:08:49,951 --> 01:08:51,736
I don’t have to do
anything you tell me to do.
1739
01:08:51,910 --> 01:08:53,694
That’s the house where
your psycho father
1740
01:08:53,868 --> 01:08:55,043
killed those people.
1741
01:08:55,218 --> 01:08:56,480
Someone wanted
to get you there.
1742
01:08:56,654 --> 01:08:58,482
Which means...
1743
01:08:58,656 --> 01:09:01,224
someone wants to get me there.
1744
01:09:01,398 --> 01:09:02,877
Oh, my God,
this isn’t about you!
1745
01:09:03,051 --> 01:09:04,401
Why are you yelling?
1746
01:09:04,575 --> 01:09:07,360
Because the camera’s
so fucking far away!
1747
01:09:07,534 --> 01:09:10,407
Wait, hold on.
Are you tracking my phone?
1748
01:09:10,581 --> 01:09:11,538
[IMITATES STATIC]
You’re breaking up.
1749
01:09:11,712 --> 01:09:12,757
Uh-- Yeah.
[IMITATES STATIC]
1750
01:09:15,716 --> 01:09:16,891
[ENGINE REVS]
1751
01:09:18,066 --> 01:09:20,678
[ENGINE REVS]
Happy Birthday!
1752
01:09:20,852 --> 01:09:24,029
[TIRES SQUEAL, ENGINE ROARS]
Hey, that’s my car!
1753
01:09:27,380 --> 01:09:28,816
What the fuck?
1754
01:09:28,990 --> 01:09:30,340
Elle!
1755
01:09:31,297 --> 01:09:32,559
I’m sorry!
1756
01:09:32,733 --> 01:09:35,040
I thought
I was supposed to smoke it.
1757
01:09:35,780 --> 01:09:36,911
Oh, shit.
1758
01:09:37,085 --> 01:09:39,218
[WHIP CRACKS]
[GRUNTS]
1759
01:09:40,915 --> 01:09:43,266
Seriously? With the
12 Years a Slaveshit?
1760
01:09:43,440 --> 01:09:46,356
GHOSTFACE: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I didn’t see that movie, okay?
1761
01:09:46,530 --> 01:09:49,010
I just found this thing
in the shed. Jesus.
1762
01:09:55,408 --> 01:09:56,888
Come on, bro!
1763
01:09:57,062 --> 01:09:58,324
That’s even worse.
1764
01:09:59,543 --> 01:10:01,762
GHOSTFACE: [GROANS]
I didn’t mean it that way.
1765
01:10:01,936 --> 01:10:03,851
Some of my best victims
are Black.
1766
01:10:06,985 --> 01:10:10,118
[SCOFFS] And another brother
falls victim to gun violence.
1767
01:10:11,032 --> 01:10:13,296
Turns out
race is still an issue.
1768
01:10:13,470 --> 01:10:14,993
GHOSTFACE: That’s not fair!
1769
01:10:15,167 --> 01:10:17,125
You know, Black guys usually
die first in horror movies.
1770
01:10:17,300 --> 01:10:19,476
[CAMERA CLICKS, WHIRS]
1771
01:10:20,564 --> 01:10:22,000
SHORTY:
Damn!
1772
01:10:22,174 --> 01:10:24,437
This give whole new meaning
to Dead By Daylight.
1773
01:10:24,611 --> 01:10:26,483
[GIGGLES] Yeah.
1774
01:10:26,657 --> 01:10:29,486
Oh. Get them, son. [GRUNTS]
1775
01:10:29,660 --> 01:10:31,923
Goofy ass out of here.
1776
01:10:32,097 --> 01:10:33,229
[GRUNTS]
1777
01:10:33,403 --> 01:10:34,578
[GIGGLES]
1778
01:10:34,752 --> 01:10:36,362
GHOSTFACE: Hello, Shorty.
1779
01:10:36,536 --> 01:10:38,712
Cuckoo! Get him, niggas!
1780
01:10:38,886 --> 01:10:40,279
[AIRHORN]
[CACKLES]
1781
01:10:40,453 --> 01:10:44,588
Got your silly ass!
You about to be high as fuck.
1782
01:10:44,762 --> 01:10:46,851
♪ Party♪
♪ Aw, yeah, aw, yeah♪
1783
01:10:47,025 --> 01:10:47,808
♪ Ain’t nobody standing...♪
1784
01:10:47,982 --> 01:10:48,766
[COUGHS] Nigga!
1785
01:10:48,940 --> 01:10:53,292
[ECHOING] Ah, shit, son!
1786
01:10:53,466 --> 01:10:55,642
Bro, why you running
backwards, son?
1787
01:10:55,816 --> 01:10:57,296
GHOSTFACE: I don’t know.
It’s not me.
1788
01:10:57,470 --> 01:10:58,515
Something’s wrong with this.
1789
01:10:58,689 --> 01:11:00,212
Nigga,
your remote is upside-down!
1790
01:11:00,386 --> 01:11:02,475
You’re fucking high, son.
[GIGGLES]
1791
01:11:02,649 --> 01:11:03,998
GHOSTFACE: Game on, bitches!
SHORTY: Yeah.
1792
01:11:04,172 --> 01:11:05,304
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1793
01:11:05,957 --> 01:11:07,611
[SCREAMS]
1794
01:11:07,785 --> 01:11:08,612
[YELPS]
1795
01:11:09,482 --> 01:11:10,831
Oh!
Wrong nigga.
1796
01:11:11,005 --> 01:11:12,442
[SARA WHIMPERING]
GHOSTFACE: Black Lives Matter!
1797
01:11:12,616 --> 01:11:13,965
Not you, Shorty!
1798
01:11:14,139 --> 01:11:15,227
Oh, my-- I need you.
1799
01:11:15,401 --> 01:11:17,142
Whoa, what is going on?
Oh, Jack!
1800
01:11:17,316 --> 01:11:19,797
Oh, thank God you’re here!
Where were you?
1801
01:11:19,971 --> 01:11:21,364
Ghostface was just here!
1802
01:11:21,538 --> 01:11:23,627
I was just outside
getting some fresh air.
1803
01:11:23,801 --> 01:11:24,802
Stop!
1804
01:11:25,803 --> 01:11:28,109
One of you is the killer.
1805
01:11:28,719 --> 01:11:29,720
Elle...
1806
01:11:30,721 --> 01:11:32,244
why do you have blood
on your hands?
1807
01:11:33,767 --> 01:11:36,117
[STAMMERS]
I found Brad outside.
1808
01:11:36,292 --> 01:11:37,597
She’s the killer!
1809
01:11:37,771 --> 01:11:39,860
I am not the killer, okay?
1810
01:11:40,034 --> 01:11:42,776
I’m not even sex positive.
I’m a virgin.
1811
01:11:42,950 --> 01:11:44,343
[SCOFFS] No way.
1812
01:11:44,517 --> 01:11:45,736
You’ve banged, like,
every dude in Woodsville.
1813
01:11:45,910 --> 01:11:47,694
Fuck you!
1814
01:11:47,868 --> 01:11:49,348
Whoa! [PANTS]
[SCREAMS, GASPS]
1815
01:11:49,522 --> 01:11:52,220
The butt doesn’t count.
1816
01:11:52,395 --> 01:11:54,092
Oh!
[SCREAMING]
1817
01:11:54,266 --> 01:11:55,267
Shit, she shot Ashton!
1818
01:11:55,441 --> 01:11:59,010
Welcome to Act Three, bitches.
1819
01:12:00,533 --> 01:12:01,360
What?
1820
01:12:02,535 --> 01:12:04,145
What does that even mean?
1821
01:12:05,146 --> 01:12:07,061
It’s when the shit goes down.
1822
01:12:07,235 --> 01:12:08,585
Oh.
1823
01:12:08,759 --> 01:12:09,847
I still don’t really know
what she means,
1824
01:12:10,021 --> 01:12:12,110
but I think we should run!
Run!
1825
01:12:12,284 --> 01:12:14,112
[PARTYGOERS SCREAMING]
1826
01:12:25,471 --> 01:12:26,472
[GIRL SCREAMS]
1827
01:12:27,908 --> 01:12:28,822
Cindy!
1828
01:12:28,996 --> 01:12:30,563
[TEENS SCREAMING]
Brenda.
1829
01:12:30,737 --> 01:12:32,348
Cindy, they in there shooting!
1830
01:12:32,522 --> 01:12:34,001
These kids are wild!
[GUNSHOTS]
1831
01:12:34,175 --> 01:12:35,829
[ALL SCREAMING]
I blame it on video games,
1832
01:12:36,003 --> 01:12:38,441
not the liquor
or lack of parental supervision.
1833
01:12:38,615 --> 01:12:39,790
You’re gonna need this.Oh.
1834
01:12:39,964 --> 01:12:42,009
Do you have one bigger
in black?
1835
01:12:42,183 --> 01:12:43,837
Oh, wrong bag.
1836
01:12:44,925 --> 01:12:45,665
Here.
Ooh.
1837
01:12:45,839 --> 01:12:47,580
Who are you, Joan Wick?
1838
01:12:47,754 --> 01:12:50,235
I would’ve said Ballerina,
but nobody saw that shit.
1839
01:12:51,236 --> 01:12:52,106
Let’s do this.
1840
01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:53,586
[SIGHING] Okay.
1841
01:12:53,760 --> 01:12:55,371
[ELLE WAILS]
1842
01:12:56,459 --> 01:12:58,635
Help! He stabbed me!
1843
01:12:58,809 --> 01:13:01,420
I’m definitely not faking it.
Please, help!
1844
01:13:01,594 --> 01:13:02,639
What do you think?
1845
01:13:03,596 --> 01:13:05,076
I think Drake lost to Kendrick.
1846
01:13:05,250 --> 01:13:08,253
I still like Drake, but
what was up with that lawsuit?
1847
01:13:08,427 --> 01:13:10,081
That’s such a bitch-ass move.
1848
01:13:10,255 --> 01:13:12,518
About this situation.
1849
01:13:12,692 --> 01:13:14,390
Oh, that?
That’s definitely a trap.
1850
01:13:14,564 --> 01:13:16,261
She don’t know
we already been here, done that.
1851
01:13:16,435 --> 01:13:17,480
[SQUELCH]
[GASPS]
1852
01:13:17,654 --> 01:13:19,525
Brenda!
[MOANS]
1853
01:13:19,699 --> 01:13:20,744
Brenda!
[GASPS]
1854
01:13:20,918 --> 01:13:23,311
Cindy! It hurts!
[GUNSHOTS]
1855
01:13:24,356 --> 01:13:26,663
Am I gonna make it?
I doubt it.
1856
01:13:26,837 --> 01:13:29,535
Oh, God, Cindy. Oh, God.
1857
01:13:29,709 --> 01:13:31,668
Bitch, I’m not dead yet!
1858
01:13:31,842 --> 01:13:34,018
Oh. My bad. I’m sorry.
1859
01:13:34,192 --> 01:13:37,891
Now you go back in there
and finish it.
1860
01:13:38,065 --> 01:13:39,197
For me, Cindy.
1861
01:13:39,371 --> 01:13:41,678
I would do anything for you,
Brenda.
1862
01:13:41,852 --> 01:13:42,983
[SIGHS]
[WHIMPERS]
1863
01:13:46,334 --> 01:13:49,120
[GIGGLES]
Oh, yes! She bought it.
1864
01:13:49,294 --> 01:13:51,905
That old ketchup trick,
it don’t fail.
1865
01:13:52,079 --> 01:13:53,341
That bitch is crazy
if she thought
1866
01:13:53,516 --> 01:13:55,735
I was taking my Black ass
back in there.
1867
01:13:55,909 --> 01:13:56,736
[GRUNTS]
1868
01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:00,740
Attention all killers!
1869
01:14:01,828 --> 01:14:05,049
You have five seconds
to show yourselves.
1870
01:14:17,409 --> 01:14:18,192
[MAN YELPS]
Shorty!
1871
01:14:18,366 --> 01:14:19,846
Bitch!
1872
01:14:20,020 --> 01:14:22,066
You shot my favorite bong.
1873
01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:24,329
Go find your own damn closet!
1874
01:14:24,503 --> 01:14:25,591
Sorry.
1875
01:14:32,511 --> 01:14:34,774
[PHONE RINGS]
1876
01:14:34,948 --> 01:14:36,776
GHOSTFACE:
Hello, Cindy.
1877
01:14:37,603 --> 01:14:38,822
Hello.
1878
01:14:38,996 --> 01:14:40,214
GHOSTFACE:
Looks like you forgot
1879
01:14:40,388 --> 01:14:42,913
the first rule
of surviving a horror movie.
1880
01:14:43,087 --> 01:14:45,611
Never answer the phone!
1881
01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:50,181
I thought the first rule was
never trust the love interest.
1882
01:14:51,530 --> 01:14:52,923
GHOSTFACE: Oh, really?
1883
01:14:53,097 --> 01:14:55,055
Well, I’m changing the rules.
How about that?
1884
01:14:55,926 --> 01:14:59,146
New rule: Go fuck yourself.
1885
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:00,234
GHOSTFACE: Wait, wait!
1886
01:15:00,408 --> 01:15:01,801
[HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM]
1887
01:15:01,975 --> 01:15:04,282
[PAINED WHINE] Why do you
hate closets so much?
1888
01:15:04,456 --> 01:15:05,979
I told you to come out.
1889
01:15:06,153 --> 01:15:08,025
Yeah, well,
I didn’t want to get shot!
1890
01:15:08,199 --> 01:15:09,679
Ironic, isn’t it?
1891
01:15:10,723 --> 01:15:12,682
GHOSTFACE:
You missed me, bitch. [GRUNTS]
1892
01:15:12,856 --> 01:15:14,553
Oh, God, it’s Ghostface!
1893
01:15:14,727 --> 01:15:15,685
Didn’t sound believable.
1894
01:15:15,859 --> 01:15:16,729
[GRUNTS]
1895
01:15:17,730 --> 01:15:18,775
GHOSTFACE:
You think you’re John Wick,
1896
01:15:18,949 --> 01:15:20,167
acting like I killed your dog?
1897
01:15:20,341 --> 01:15:22,735
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1898
01:15:24,258 --> 01:15:25,390
[GHOSTFACE GRUNTS]
1899
01:15:25,564 --> 01:15:27,348
The dog is just a metaphor.
1900
01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:29,307
It was about losing his wife!
1901
01:15:29,481 --> 01:15:31,352
GHOSTFACE: You sure it’s not
an allegory? [GROANS]
1902
01:15:42,407 --> 01:15:43,713
Let us begin.
1903
01:15:43,887 --> 01:15:45,671
[YELLS]
[GRUNTING]
1904
01:15:47,891 --> 01:15:48,761
[YELLS]
[GRUNTS]
1905
01:15:48,935 --> 01:15:51,285
[CINDY YELLS, GRUNTS]
1906
01:15:52,983 --> 01:15:54,332
[CASING CLINKS]
Oh.
1907
01:15:55,028 --> 01:15:57,030
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1908
01:16:01,513 --> 01:16:02,601
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1909
01:16:04,821 --> 01:16:06,997
Oh, that stunt girl is good.
1910
01:16:10,174 --> 01:16:11,784
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1911
01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:15,353
[GHOSTFACE GRUNTS]
[CLICKING]
1912
01:16:19,966 --> 01:16:21,968
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1913
01:16:23,970 --> 01:16:24,754
Whoa.
1914
01:16:24,928 --> 01:16:26,799
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1915
01:16:28,192 --> 01:16:29,367
[CINDY GRUNTING]
1916
01:16:29,541 --> 01:16:31,499
GHOSTFACE: Oh, oh-- [GRUNTS]
1917
01:16:32,544 --> 01:16:33,632
[GRUNTS]
1918
01:16:33,806 --> 01:16:35,678
[GASPING, SHUDDERING]
1919
01:16:35,852 --> 01:16:37,462
[GRUNTS, SIGHS]
[POP]
1920
01:16:38,855 --> 01:16:39,682
[CINDY GRUNTS]
1921
01:16:39,856 --> 01:16:41,988
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1922
01:16:42,162 --> 01:16:43,033
[CINDY YELLS]
1923
01:16:43,207 --> 01:16:44,121
[GHOSTFACE GRUNTS]
1924
01:16:45,078 --> 01:16:46,993
[GHOSTFACE CHOKING]
1925
01:16:47,167 --> 01:16:48,473
Eat a dick.
1926
01:16:49,517 --> 01:16:51,041
[SIGHS]
1927
01:16:51,215 --> 01:16:52,695
[SIGHS]
[GHOSTFACE GRUNTS]
1928
01:16:52,869 --> 01:16:54,827
[GHOSTFACE GROANING]
1929
01:16:55,001 --> 01:16:56,612
[PANTING]
1930
01:16:56,786 --> 01:16:58,831
[SARA GASPS, PANTS]
1931
01:16:59,005 --> 01:17:01,007
Shoot him, Sara. End this.
1932
01:17:01,181 --> 01:17:02,835
Don’t tell me what to do!
1933
01:17:03,009 --> 01:17:04,532
This isn’t the best time
1934
01:17:04,707 --> 01:17:06,839
to resolve our
mommy-daughter issues,
1935
01:17:07,013 --> 01:17:11,365
but Sara, I am so sorry.
I have been a terrible mother.
1936
01:17:11,539 --> 01:17:13,846
I don’t even know
your sister Wednesday--
1937
01:17:14,020 --> 01:17:15,239
Oh, Tuesday.
1938
01:17:15,413 --> 01:17:18,372
Have to clarify that
for legal reasons.
1939
01:17:18,546 --> 01:17:19,722
But I’ve prepared you for this.
1940
01:17:20,505 --> 01:17:21,941
So go on, baby.
1941
01:17:22,115 --> 01:17:23,726
You kill him.
[EXHALES]
1942
01:17:23,900 --> 01:17:25,205
JACK: Sara?
Jack!
1943
01:17:25,379 --> 01:17:26,642
Sara!
SARA: Jack!
1944
01:17:26,816 --> 01:17:28,208
JACK: Sara!
SARA: Oh, Jack!
1945
01:17:28,382 --> 01:17:29,296
JACK: Sara!
Jack!
1946
01:17:29,470 --> 01:17:30,297
Sara!
SARA: Jack!
1947
01:17:30,471 --> 01:17:31,429
Sara!
SARA: Jack!
1948
01:17:31,603 --> 01:17:32,473
JACK: Thank God you’re okay.
1949
01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:33,561
Because I really wanted to be
1950
01:17:33,736 --> 01:17:34,650
the one to kill you!
[SCREAMS]
1951
01:17:34,824 --> 01:17:36,260
[GASPS]
Ooh, take it, baby.
1952
01:17:36,434 --> 01:17:37,653
[SARA GROANING]
1953
01:17:37,827 --> 01:17:40,307
[GASPS] See,
I told you it was about me.
1954
01:17:40,481 --> 01:17:42,222
ELLE: No, Sara.
1955
01:17:43,659 --> 01:17:45,225
You were just the bait.
1956
01:17:45,791 --> 01:17:47,140
It’s about her.
1957
01:17:47,837 --> 01:17:48,881
Fuck!
CINDY: Aw.
1958
01:17:49,055 --> 01:17:51,318
Sorry, honey.
I hate being right.
1959
01:17:51,492 --> 01:17:53,451
JACK: You should’ve
listened to Doofy.
1960
01:17:53,625 --> 01:17:55,714
[WHISPERING]
The love interest.
1961
01:17:55,888 --> 01:17:58,151
It just seemed too obvious,
you know?
1962
01:17:58,325 --> 01:18:00,806
Which makes you think
it is not obvious.
1963
01:18:00,980 --> 01:18:01,720
Same page, honeybunch.
1964
01:18:01,894 --> 01:18:02,852
Right.
[MOCKING]
1965
01:18:03,026 --> 01:18:04,636
Yeah, well, that’s the twist!
1966
01:18:04,810 --> 01:18:06,159
Now get in the kitchen. Go!
1967
01:18:06,333 --> 01:18:07,639
Hey! [GRUNTS]
Move!
1968
01:18:07,813 --> 01:18:10,163
Okay, listen up!
[SARA GASPS]
1969
01:18:10,337 --> 01:18:13,384
See, there hasn’t been
a great Horror Movie
1970
01:18:13,558 --> 01:18:15,342
since the first one.
1971
01:18:15,516 --> 01:18:18,650
We’re gonna save the franchise.
Go get our special guest star.
1972
01:18:18,824 --> 01:18:20,043
[GIGGLES SOFTLY]
1973
01:18:20,783 --> 01:18:23,350
Hollywood is out of ideas!
1974
01:18:23,524 --> 01:18:26,049
Why else would there be
a Scary Movie 6?
1975
01:18:26,223 --> 01:18:28,616
But it wouldn’t work with just
the new characters, would it?
1976
01:18:28,791 --> 01:18:31,228
We need the legacy characters.
Oh--
1977
01:18:31,402 --> 01:18:32,969
And there wouldn’t be a Cindy
1978
01:18:33,143 --> 01:18:36,712
without her
sassy Black sidekick, Brenda.
1979
01:18:36,886 --> 01:18:39,976
You ain’t have to say "Black"
with no hard "b" like that.
1980
01:18:40,150 --> 01:18:42,500
Brenda! Didn’t you get shot?
1981
01:18:43,283 --> 01:18:44,807
Did I?
1982
01:18:44,981 --> 01:18:48,549
Oh! Wait, I did!
Ooh, look, God done healed me!
1983
01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:50,290
Ooh, what He do?
1984
01:18:50,464 --> 01:18:51,683
Stop dancing!
All the time!
1985
01:18:51,857 --> 01:18:53,163
Stop dancing!
Everybody stop dancing!
1986
01:18:53,337 --> 01:18:54,251
All the time!
1987
01:18:54,425 --> 01:18:55,382
Oh! [GASP]
[KNIFE WITHDRAWS]
1988
01:18:55,556 --> 01:18:57,994
Oh.
Mom! No!
1989
01:18:58,168 --> 01:19:00,474
[PANTING] You called me "Mom".
1990
01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:03,303
You care about me.
1991
01:19:03,477 --> 01:19:05,566
Well, I wouldn’t go that far,
but, I mean,
1992
01:19:05,741 --> 01:19:06,480
sure.
Go--
1993
01:19:06,654 --> 01:19:07,568
Go get Tuesday.
1994
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,266
Okay, ladies,
1995
01:19:09,440 --> 01:19:11,572
[SING-SONGY]
time to stage the bodies.
1996
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:14,010
Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.
Oh!
1997
01:19:14,184 --> 01:19:15,925
[CINDY GASPS]
Please don’t do this!
1998
01:19:16,099 --> 01:19:17,448
What? Who are you people?
1999
01:19:17,622 --> 01:19:18,754
GHOSTFACE:
We’re the motherfuckers
2000
01:19:18,928 --> 01:19:21,278
that are taking over
this franchise.
2001
01:19:21,452 --> 01:19:22,322
Oh, yeah? You are?
2002
01:19:22,496 --> 01:19:24,629
Okay! Oh, my God.
2003
01:19:24,803 --> 01:19:27,153
That was not part of the plan.
[WOMEN GASPING]
2004
01:19:27,327 --> 01:19:29,460
[GROANING]
Oh, God. Shit.
2005
01:19:29,634 --> 01:19:31,636
Oh.
GHOSTFACE: Neither was this.
2006
01:19:31,810 --> 01:19:33,159
[WOMEN GASP]
2007
01:19:33,333 --> 01:19:35,031
[PLOP, BURBLE]
2008
01:19:35,205 --> 01:19:36,554
Wait, Ray got one of those!
2009
01:19:36,728 --> 01:19:38,904
Whoa! Hot damn![THUDS]
2010
01:19:39,078 --> 01:19:42,255
[LAUGHING]
Anthony Anderson!
2011
01:19:42,429 --> 01:19:43,779
Yeah.
2012
01:19:43,953 --> 01:19:46,303
And I brought my boy
Kevin Hart with me.
2013
01:19:46,477 --> 01:19:48,000
[GASPS]
2014
01:19:53,527 --> 01:19:55,268
What?
Shaq?
2015
01:19:55,442 --> 01:19:58,010
That’s right. On my knees
I’m the same height as Kevin.
2016
01:19:58,184 --> 01:19:59,403
And Kevin said no.
2017
01:19:59,577 --> 01:20:00,926
ANTHONY:
Kevin Hart said no?
2018
01:20:01,100 --> 01:20:02,754
That little motherfucker
says yes to everything.
2019
01:20:02,928 --> 01:20:03,842
Yeah, he does.
2020
01:20:04,016 --> 01:20:05,452
But wait!
[METALLIC SCRAPE]
2021
01:20:05,626 --> 01:20:07,977
GHOSTFACE: There’s more.
[MUFFLED GIGGLE]
2022
01:20:08,151 --> 01:20:10,109
Ta-dah...
2023
01:20:10,283 --> 01:20:11,328
bitches!
2024
01:20:11,502 --> 01:20:13,069
Ray? Shorty?
2025
01:20:13,243 --> 01:20:14,810
Yeah, that’s right.
2026
01:20:14,984 --> 01:20:18,030
Four Black killers.Yeah.
2027
01:20:18,204 --> 01:20:19,423
We’re making history.
[LAUGHS]
2028
01:20:19,597 --> 01:20:22,556
This a new definition
of Black excellence.
2029
01:20:23,383 --> 01:20:24,776
But why would you do this?
2030
01:20:24,950 --> 01:20:26,473
Question is:
2031
01:20:26,647 --> 01:20:28,388
Why would you try to make
a sequel without us, huh?
2032
01:20:28,562 --> 01:20:29,955
Yeah!
2033
01:20:30,129 --> 01:20:31,739
When the studio wanted
to replace these brothers,
2034
01:20:31,914 --> 01:20:33,872
I was there.
2035
01:20:34,046 --> 01:20:35,874
That’s facts.
What about me?
2036
01:20:36,048 --> 01:20:36,875
What about you?
2037
01:20:37,049 --> 01:20:38,094
CINDY: You were in one scene
2038
01:20:38,268 --> 01:20:39,878
in Part 4.
Oh!
2039
01:20:40,052 --> 01:20:40,879
Yes, but I made
that motherfucker
2040
01:20:41,053 --> 01:20:42,489
Dr. Phil cut his foot off.
2041
01:20:42,663 --> 01:20:44,317
And he crazy now.
SHORTY: Yeah, he got weird.
2042
01:20:44,491 --> 01:20:45,536
Mm.
But you--
2043
01:20:45,710 --> 01:20:47,059
Y-You see
what they trying to do?
2044
01:20:47,233 --> 01:20:48,974
They trying to pit us all up
against each other.
2045
01:20:49,148 --> 01:20:51,672
They trying to start Black
on-- on very Black crime.
2046
01:20:51,847 --> 01:20:53,022
ANTHONY: Oh.
That’s right!
2047
01:20:53,196 --> 01:20:55,894
Yo, Shaq.
Hey. I’m proud of you, bro.
2048
01:20:56,068 --> 01:20:58,418
You’ve had an amazing career
as a sports commentator
2049
01:20:58,592 --> 01:21:00,290
since retiring
from basketball. Mm-hmm.
2050
01:21:00,464 --> 01:21:03,989
And I love The Big Podcast.
Nigga, I love that shit!
2051
01:21:04,163 --> 01:21:06,122
Even though I don’t understand
a word you be saying.
2052
01:21:06,296 --> 01:21:07,297
You be on that show
talkin’ ’bout--
2053
01:21:07,471 --> 01:21:09,429
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH
AS SHAQ]
2054
01:21:09,603 --> 01:21:10,909
[RAY CHUCKLES]
2055
01:21:11,083 --> 01:21:11,823
"Kobe."
2056
01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:13,216
Enough.
2057
01:21:13,390 --> 01:21:16,915
But my point is, nigga,
I love your shit.
2058
01:21:17,873 --> 01:21:19,962
But I never got over Kazaam.
2059
01:21:20,136 --> 01:21:21,354
Fuck all that shit!
[GASPING]
2060
01:21:21,528 --> 01:21:23,008
Kick his ass!
2061
01:21:23,182 --> 01:21:25,619
Get your big ass over here!
I hated that movie, too!
2062
01:21:25,793 --> 01:21:27,012
Why did you leave the Lakers?
[RAPID STABBING]
2063
01:21:27,186 --> 01:21:29,841
You and Kobe
would’ve had nine rings!
2064
01:21:30,015 --> 01:21:31,321
That motherfucker traded me!
2065
01:21:31,495 --> 01:21:32,670
Sha-kweel!
2066
01:21:32,844 --> 01:21:35,281
How big is your foot?
[STABBING]
2067
01:21:35,455 --> 01:21:36,587
22.
2068
01:21:36,761 --> 01:21:39,111
Then how big is your dick?
[STABBING]
2069
01:21:39,285 --> 01:21:40,417
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ray!
[STABBING]
2070
01:21:40,591 --> 01:21:42,027
Pause.
SHORTY: What the fuck
2071
01:21:42,201 --> 01:21:43,507
you talking about?
I’m doing it for the culture.
2072
01:21:43,681 --> 01:21:45,074
What culture?
2073
01:21:45,248 --> 01:21:47,119
The Culture Club. Nigga!
ANTHONY: Bro.
2074
01:21:47,293 --> 01:21:48,381
Come on, Ray,
we killing people.
2075
01:21:48,555 --> 01:21:49,469
Stay focused.
All right, all right.
2076
01:21:49,643 --> 01:21:51,558
All right. We back.
[YELPS]
2077
01:21:51,732 --> 01:21:54,518
Hey, Ant, don’t, don’t you--
don’t you worry. We family.
2078
01:21:54,692 --> 01:21:56,607
Ant, mad respect, y’all.
2079
01:21:56,781 --> 01:21:58,696
[WHIMPERS]
Hey, Black-ishnominated
2080
01:21:58,870 --> 01:21:59,827
for eight Emmys!
2081
01:22:00,002 --> 01:22:01,133
My nigga!
[WINCES]
2082
01:22:01,307 --> 01:22:02,439
[STAMMERS] Well, actually,
2083
01:22:02,613 --> 01:22:04,180
the show was only nominated
for five.
2084
01:22:04,354 --> 01:22:06,051
I was nominated for eight.
2085
01:22:06,225 --> 01:22:07,183
Ooh.
Wow.
2086
01:22:07,357 --> 01:22:08,140
Oh, thank you.
[WOMEN CLAPPING]
2087
01:22:08,314 --> 01:22:09,315
[GIGGLES]
A thespian!
2088
01:22:09,489 --> 01:22:12,014
Is that so? Eight nominations.
2089
01:22:12,188 --> 01:22:14,190
Crazy! [CHUCKLING]
Yeah, man.
2090
01:22:14,364 --> 01:22:15,452
[LAUGHTER DIES DOWN]
2091
01:22:16,235 --> 01:22:18,324
But you never won.
What?
2092
01:22:18,498 --> 01:22:19,891
[WINCES]
[GASPING]
2093
01:22:20,065 --> 01:22:21,327
Et tu, Brute?
2094
01:22:21,501 --> 01:22:23,286
Don’t speak Spanish to me,
motherfucker.
2095
01:22:23,460 --> 01:22:26,332
This is for doing
Scary Movie 3and 4!
2096
01:22:26,506 --> 01:22:28,552
I didn’t know
they fired the family!
2097
01:22:28,726 --> 01:22:30,336
And this is for copying
2098
01:22:30,510 --> 01:22:33,296
our Good Timesepisode
on Black-ish!
2099
01:22:33,470 --> 01:22:35,951
But you guys were on The WB!
2100
01:22:36,125 --> 01:22:38,605
[WHIMPERS]
Nobody saw that shit!
2101
01:22:38,779 --> 01:22:40,390
[THUDS]
[BOTH PANTING]
2102
01:22:40,564 --> 01:22:42,087
SHORTY: Ooh.
No, no, no.
2103
01:22:42,261 --> 01:22:44,263
And you, and you--
2104
01:22:44,437 --> 01:22:47,353
Y’all went and did
Scary Movie 3and 4without us!
2105
01:22:47,527 --> 01:22:50,052
Nigga, I’m sorry.
They offered me so much money!
2106
01:22:50,226 --> 01:22:53,751
I-I got a new house, a new car.
I got wigs that don’t itch.
2107
01:22:53,925 --> 01:22:54,795
[SNIFFLES]
2108
01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:56,232
And what about you?
2109
01:22:57,363 --> 01:22:59,452
Well, I had a chance
to work with
2110
01:22:59,626 --> 01:23:01,933
the incomparable Charlie Sheen.
2111
01:23:03,630 --> 01:23:05,241
That’s good. He’s a legend.
2112
01:23:05,415 --> 01:23:07,591
And his dick game’s crazy.
2113
01:23:07,765 --> 01:23:09,810
You know he slept with
47,000 women?
2114
01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:11,987
And a thousand of them women
were dudes.
2115
01:23:12,161 --> 01:23:13,858
[SCOFFS] Lucky guy.
2116
01:23:14,815 --> 01:23:17,209
Wait,
so y’all gonna kill us now?
2117
01:23:17,383 --> 01:23:18,776
[SHORTY WHIMPERS]
2118
01:23:18,950 --> 01:23:20,691
Nah. [CHUCKLES]
[EXHALES]
2119
01:23:20,865 --> 01:23:23,476
What would Halloweenbe
without Jamie Lee Curtis?
2120
01:23:23,650 --> 01:23:25,304
Or Screambe
without Neve Campbell?
2121
01:23:25,478 --> 01:23:26,871
[BRENDA GASPS]
That would be Scream VI.
2122
01:23:27,045 --> 01:23:29,439
How did you guys
pull all of this off?
2123
01:23:29,613 --> 01:23:30,918
Cindy!
2124
01:23:31,093 --> 01:23:33,834
You know how many Wayanses
there are?
2125
01:23:34,009 --> 01:23:35,967
Nigga, billions!
Billions!
2126
01:23:36,141 --> 01:23:39,405
I’m just so happy that
the old gang is back together.
2127
01:23:40,189 --> 01:23:41,973
Okay, in the middle, on three:
2128
01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:43,409
Core Four.
2129
01:23:43,583 --> 01:23:45,237
What?
Nah, nah. We-- That--
2130
01:23:45,411 --> 01:23:46,586
That-- That’s corny shit.
That’s wack.
2131
01:23:46,760 --> 01:23:48,153
Ooh, uh, w-what about--
2132
01:23:48,327 --> 01:23:50,764
What about,
The Young and The Restless?
2133
01:23:50,938 --> 01:23:52,853
Yeah, or The-- or The Old
2134
01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:54,159
and then The Beautiful.
[LAUGHS]
2135
01:23:54,333 --> 01:23:56,248
Or-- or The--
The Cute and The Crusty.
2136
01:23:56,422 --> 01:23:59,121
Yeah, or The Sexy
and then The Senile.
2137
01:23:59,295 --> 01:24:01,514
[BOTH LAUGHING]
2138
01:24:02,515 --> 01:24:05,257
[BOTH CRYING, WHIMPERING]
2139
01:24:05,431 --> 01:24:07,303
But we were brought in
to take over the franchise!
2140
01:24:07,477 --> 01:24:08,521
That’s right. I mean,
2141
01:24:08,695 --> 01:24:10,741
you guys are, like,
70 years old!
2142
01:24:10,915 --> 01:24:12,482
Not in my mouth!
2143
01:24:12,656 --> 01:24:13,700
Aw, fuck!
2144
01:24:13,874 --> 01:24:15,050
[TUESDAY AND SARA SOBBING]
2145
01:24:15,224 --> 01:24:17,400
I just dragged that one
from the subway.
2146
01:24:17,574 --> 01:24:19,793
Oh, my back hurts. [GROANS]
[BONES POP]
2147
01:24:19,967 --> 01:24:22,709
Guys, guys!
They’re already dead.
2148
01:24:22,883 --> 01:24:25,103
Nah! Little fuckers
always come back.
2149
01:24:25,277 --> 01:24:27,062
Oh, no. Not this time.
2150
01:24:27,236 --> 01:24:29,455
Exactly. Come on,
Ray, let’s go. Let’s go.
2151
01:24:29,629 --> 01:24:31,066
Who got a match?
[GIRLS YELLING]
2152
01:24:31,240 --> 01:24:35,287
Got one, got one!
Next generation, my ass!
2153
01:24:35,461 --> 01:24:36,854
Yeah, whoo!
[WHOOPS]
2154
01:24:37,028 --> 01:24:39,117
[ALL SCREAMING]
2155
01:24:39,291 --> 01:24:41,076
[BOTH YELLING]
2156
01:24:41,250 --> 01:24:42,338
Sara, tell me what do to.
2157
01:24:42,512 --> 01:24:44,470
Blow, bitch, blow!
2158
01:24:49,519 --> 01:24:52,348
[LAUGHTER]
2159
01:24:52,522 --> 01:24:53,523
Yeah.
2160
01:24:55,742 --> 01:24:58,005
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Should we feel bad?
2161
01:24:58,180 --> 01:24:59,616
I mean, those are our kids.
2162
01:24:59,790 --> 01:25:01,400
Fuck those kids!
Yeah!
2163
01:25:01,574 --> 01:25:03,533
This is our franchise.
Yeah!
2164
01:25:03,707 --> 01:25:06,318
Besides, we can do all these
dramatic walkaways
2165
01:25:06,492 --> 01:25:07,798
with the fire in back of us.
2166
01:25:07,972 --> 01:25:09,626
But, damn, it’s hot.
2167
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:12,411
I don’t know.
I kind of like it.
2168
01:25:13,369 --> 01:25:15,066
You do, Ray?
We should play firemen.
2169
01:25:15,240 --> 01:25:17,199
You wanna dress up
like a fireman?
2170
01:25:17,373 --> 01:25:19,114
No. I want you to dress up
like a fireman.
2171
01:25:19,288 --> 01:25:21,681
[BRENDA GIGGLES]
Y’all feel a draft?
2172
01:25:21,855 --> 01:25:23,553
["BIGGER THAN EVER [WE BACK]"
BY CHRIS PATRICK PLAYS] ♪ Bigger than ever♪
2173
01:25:23,727 --> 01:25:24,510
♪ We back
Woo♪
2174
01:25:24,684 --> 01:25:26,251
♪ Okay, okay♪
2175
01:25:26,425 --> 01:25:27,731
♪ We back
We back♪
2176
01:25:27,905 --> 01:25:29,167
♪ Okay, okay♪
2177
01:25:29,341 --> 01:25:30,734
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
2178
01:25:30,908 --> 01:25:32,431
♪ Wait on it
Put in pain for it♪
2179
01:25:32,605 --> 01:25:34,129
♪ Every day
A day to train for it♪
2180
01:25:34,303 --> 01:25:35,913
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
2181
01:25:36,087 --> 01:25:37,306
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
2182
01:25:39,482 --> 01:25:40,874
♪ Uh-huh♪
2183
01:25:41,048 --> 01:25:42,615
♪ We back
We back♪
2184
01:25:42,789 --> 01:25:44,313
♪ Back like respawn♪
♪ Respawn♪
2185
01:25:44,487 --> 01:25:45,966
♪ Back like
Reversin’ out the whip♪
2186
01:25:46,141 --> 01:25:47,751
♪ Forward drive♪
♪ Drive♪
2187
01:25:47,925 --> 01:25:49,144
♪ Back like I’m Marty♪
♪ Marty♪
2188
01:25:49,318 --> 01:25:50,406
♪ Back like McFly♪
2189
01:25:50,580 --> 01:25:52,147
♪ Double back for dinero♪
2190
01:25:52,321 --> 01:25:53,887
♪ ’Cause it’s back
Like I slide♪
2191
01:25:54,061 --> 01:25:55,498
♪ We outside♪
2192
01:25:55,672 --> 01:25:57,761
♪ We ain’t never really left♪
2193
01:25:57,935 --> 01:25:59,023
♪ Write ambidextrous♪
2194
01:25:59,197 --> 01:26:00,677
♪ Both hands need a check♪
2195
01:26:00,851 --> 01:26:02,461
♪ Whole fam need respect♪
2196
01:26:02,635 --> 01:26:04,550
♪ More bands, nothing less♪
2197
01:26:04,724 --> 01:26:07,727
♪ Tax season ’cause I got
The plan to collect♪
2198
01:26:09,381 --> 01:26:10,774
♪ Uh♪
2199
01:26:10,948 --> 01:26:12,210
♪ Look at me now♪
♪ Now♪
2200
01:26:12,384 --> 01:26:13,951
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
2201
01:26:14,125 --> 01:26:15,909
♪ My foot on the pedal
My eyes on the crown♪
2202
01:26:16,083 --> 01:26:17,520
♪ Uh♪
2203
01:26:17,694 --> 01:26:18,912
♪ Look at me now♪
♪ Now♪
2204
01:26:19,086 --> 01:26:20,479
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
2205
01:26:20,653 --> 01:26:21,872
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
2206
01:26:22,916 --> 01:26:24,527
♪ Okay, okay♪
2207
01:26:24,701 --> 01:26:26,268
♪ We back♪
2208
01:26:26,442 --> 01:26:27,965
♪ Okay, okay♪
♪ Bigger than ever♪
2209
01:26:28,139 --> 01:26:29,488
♪ We back♪
2210
01:26:29,662 --> 01:26:31,098
♪ Wait on it
Put in pain for it♪
2211
01:26:31,273 --> 01:26:32,491
♪ Every day
A day to train for it♪
2212
01:26:32,665 --> 01:26:34,145
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
2213
01:26:34,319 --> 01:26:35,712
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
2214
01:26:36,887 --> 01:26:38,018
♪ Mm♪
2215
01:26:38,193 --> 01:26:39,846
♪ Look at me now♪
2216
01:26:40,020 --> 01:26:41,500
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
2217
01:26:41,674 --> 01:26:42,980
♪ Look at me now♪
2218
01:26:43,154 --> 01:26:44,547
♪ My foot on the pedal♪
2219
01:26:44,721 --> 01:26:46,592
♪ My eyes on the crown♪
2220
01:26:46,766 --> 01:26:48,203
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
2221
01:26:48,377 --> 01:26:49,552
♪ Look at me now♪
2222
01:26:49,726 --> 01:26:51,336
♪ Whoo, look at me now♪
2223
01:26:51,510 --> 01:26:53,033
♪ Whoo, look at me now♪
2224
01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:54,513
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
2225
01:26:58,387 --> 01:27:00,606
♪ Bigger than ever
We back, whoo♪
2226
01:27:00,780 --> 01:27:02,347
♪ Okay, okay♪
2227
01:27:02,521 --> 01:27:03,957
♪ We back♪
2228
01:27:04,131 --> 01:27:05,437
♪ Okay, okay♪
2229
01:27:05,611 --> 01:27:06,917
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
2230
01:27:07,091 --> 01:27:08,527
♪ Wait on it
Put in pain for it♪
2231
01:27:08,701 --> 01:27:10,268
♪ Every day
A day to train for it♪
2232
01:27:10,442 --> 01:27:11,748
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
2233
01:27:11,922 --> 01:27:13,663
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
2234
01:27:13,837 --> 01:27:16,013
♪ Hey, hey, hey♪
2235
01:27:16,187 --> 01:27:17,057
♪ We back♪
2236
01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:19,408
♪ Hey, hey, hey♪
2237
01:27:19,582 --> 01:27:20,452
♪ We back♪
2238
01:27:20,626 --> 01:27:22,715
♪ Hey, hey, hey♪
2239
01:27:22,889 --> 01:27:24,151
♪ We back♪
2240
01:27:24,326 --> 01:27:25,718
♪ We on a whole ’nother level♪
2241
01:27:25,892 --> 01:27:27,154
♪ Bigger than ever
We back♪
2242
01:27:35,119 --> 01:27:37,339
NARRATOR: Coming soon
to a theater near you...
2243
01:27:37,513 --> 01:27:39,166
Come to me...
2244
01:27:39,341 --> 01:27:40,603
Count Brolock.
2245
01:27:41,734 --> 01:27:43,127
From the studio
that brought you
2246
01:27:43,301 --> 01:27:45,956
every Black version
of a white movie...
2247
01:27:48,480 --> 01:27:52,136
I am but an appetite,
nothing more.
2248
01:27:52,310 --> 01:27:54,356
That’s not what you said
last night
2249
01:27:54,530 --> 01:27:56,053
when you were
sucking on my chest.
2250
01:27:56,227 --> 01:27:57,663
[SHUSHES]
2251
01:27:58,490 --> 01:27:59,926
The sisters may hear you.
2252
01:28:00,100 --> 01:28:01,754
Too late.
[GASPS, SPUTTERS]
2253
01:28:01,928 --> 01:28:03,016
You trifling sellout.
2254
01:28:03,190 --> 01:28:04,714
BROLOCK:
I don’t know this bitch!
2255
01:28:04,888 --> 01:28:06,281
She’s trying to get me!
This is entrapment!
2256
01:28:06,455 --> 01:28:08,674
Negro ain’t shit.
ALL: Mm-hmm.
2257
01:28:08,848 --> 01:28:11,460
NARRATOR:
Behold the Black vampire.
2258
01:28:12,156 --> 01:28:14,027
Brosferatu.
2259
01:28:15,115 --> 01:28:17,030
Coming this Kwanzaa.
2260
01:28:18,205 --> 01:28:19,381
[CROW CAWS]
2261
01:29:31,278 --> 01:29:35,065
Cuckoo. Cuckoo.
2262
01:29:35,239 --> 01:29:39,243
Happy Birthday, A.S. Berger.
2263
01:29:39,417 --> 01:29:41,724
Something isn’t right here.
SHORTHAND: Happy birthday...
2264
01:29:41,898 --> 01:29:43,508
He’s definitely Ghostface.
2265
01:29:44,248 --> 01:29:45,162
Sit.
2266
01:29:46,250 --> 01:29:47,817
I agree, Berger.
2267
01:29:47,991 --> 01:29:50,123
That hand should spend
the rest of its life in prison.
2268
01:29:50,297 --> 01:29:52,212
That little hand, man. I mean--
2269
01:29:52,387 --> 01:29:55,868
Respectfully, that thing would
probably give a nice handjob.
2270
01:29:56,042 --> 01:29:58,175
Off the chain, guaranteed.
2271
01:29:58,349 --> 01:29:59,437
Tight grip.
2272
01:29:59,611 --> 01:30:00,786
Make your meat
look two times bigger.
2273
01:30:00,960 --> 01:30:02,048
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
2274
01:30:02,222 --> 01:30:03,485
I don’t want
a handjob from him.
2275
01:30:03,659 --> 01:30:04,877
Let me tell you that,
first and foremost.
2276
01:30:05,051 --> 01:30:07,053
I do not want a handjob.
Me neither.
2277
01:30:07,227 --> 01:30:09,795
However, when you look at it,
like a shotgun--
2278
01:30:09,969 --> 01:30:11,841
[CLICKS, PUFFS] You’re done.
[SHOTGUN COCKS, FIRES]
2279
01:30:12,015 --> 01:30:13,277
[MIMICS EXPLOSION]
2280
01:30:13,451 --> 01:30:14,800
Now, listen,
we’re gonna hold him, okay?
2281
01:30:14,974 --> 01:30:16,454
Okay.It might be a day,
2282
01:30:16,628 --> 01:30:17,803
two weeks, I don’t know.
2283
01:30:17,977 --> 01:30:19,065
I don’t know how long
this movie is.
2284
01:30:19,239 --> 01:30:21,241
Like a Chris Nolan movie
with farts.
2285
01:30:21,416 --> 01:30:23,635
But what I want you to do
is go in there
2286
01:30:23,809 --> 01:30:25,768
and show him what you got.
2287
01:30:25,942 --> 01:30:26,986
Cock it and rock it.
2288
01:30:27,770 --> 01:30:29,772
[DISTANT SIRENS WAILING]
2289
01:30:30,816 --> 01:30:31,817
Ah.
[DOOR UNLOCKS]
2290
01:30:33,558 --> 01:30:35,908
[GASPS] Oh!
[DOOR SHUTS]
2291
01:30:36,779 --> 01:30:38,476
SHORTHAND:
There she is.
2292
01:30:38,650 --> 01:30:40,739
The birthday girl.
2293
01:30:44,003 --> 01:30:45,091
I brought a cake.
2294
01:30:46,528 --> 01:30:47,703
Make a wish.
2295
01:30:49,487 --> 01:30:51,358
My germs!
[SPUTTERS]
2296
01:30:51,533 --> 01:30:53,056
[SPUTTERS]
2297
01:30:53,230 --> 01:30:54,840
[BERGER SPITS]
[SMACKS LIPS]
2298
01:30:55,014 --> 01:30:58,148
Finger-licking good.
[GIGGLES]
2299
01:30:58,322 --> 01:31:01,717
Agent Berger, I’m just trying
to give you my strong hand.
2300
01:31:01,891 --> 01:31:04,067
No!
But it’s a meme.
2301
01:31:04,241 --> 01:31:07,984
Mr. Shorthand,
are you Ghostface?
2302
01:31:08,158 --> 01:31:10,595
[WHOOPS] Here we go--
[GRUNTS, WHIMPERS]
2303
01:31:11,466 --> 01:31:13,293
Whew, that stings.
It’s sort of--
2304
01:31:13,468 --> 01:31:14,294
[THUDS]
Whoo.
2305
01:31:14,469 --> 01:31:16,035
Okay, that hurts.
Stop.
2306
01:31:16,209 --> 01:31:17,254
Can I talk to you
for a second?
2307
01:31:17,428 --> 01:31:19,038
Yeah, o-okay.
2308
01:31:19,212 --> 01:31:20,823
[THUDS]
[MOANS, GASPS]
2309
01:31:20,997 --> 01:31:22,477
This table needs an airbag.
2310
01:31:22,651 --> 01:31:23,478
It should-- [GRUNTS]
2311
01:31:23,652 --> 01:31:25,175
BOTH: Goddamn!
2312
01:31:25,349 --> 01:31:26,568
Whoo!
2313
01:31:26,742 --> 01:31:28,091
I didn’t think it would
hurt so bad.
2314
01:31:28,265 --> 01:31:30,746
So we got the wrong guy.
Could have told you that.
2315
01:31:31,616 --> 01:31:33,096
Why?
’Cause I’m psychic.
2316
01:31:33,270 --> 01:31:35,098
[SHORTHAND GASPS]
Oh, yeah!
2317
01:31:35,272 --> 01:31:36,447
You know, it’s what--
2318
01:31:36,621 --> 01:31:37,883
[THUDS]
BOTH: Oh, shit!
2319
01:31:38,057 --> 01:31:39,450
[SIGHS] Oh, God,
that’s how I feel.
2320
01:31:39,624 --> 01:31:40,886
Let me tell you some--
[GRUNTS]
2321
01:31:41,713 --> 01:31:43,498
What do we do now?
2322
01:31:43,672 --> 01:31:45,282
Back out slowly.
[THUDDING CONTINUES]
2323
01:31:45,456 --> 01:31:47,066
Like my neighbor when
I caught him inside my wife.
2324
01:31:47,240 --> 01:31:48,720
SHORTHAND:
Where are you guys going?
2325
01:31:48,894 --> 01:31:49,939
[THUDS, SHORTHAND GROANS]
They’re still together?
2326
01:31:50,113 --> 01:31:51,549
[THUDS]
Unfortunately.
2327
01:31:51,723 --> 01:31:52,898
SHORTHAND: Ow!
[THUDS]
2328
01:31:53,072 --> 01:31:54,987
Sorry, man.
It’s okay.
2329
01:31:55,161 --> 01:31:56,380
We’re a throuple now.
[SHORTHAND GROANS]
2330
01:31:56,554 --> 01:31:57,555
[THUDS]